Gay Stuff : #LoveCantWait – Gay Marriage
On April 28, 2015 the US Supreme Court started to hear the historic marriage equality case, Obergefell V. Hodges which could lead to marriage equality coming to all 50 states.
Currently there are 37 states that allow same sex marriage, including my home state of North Carolina which happened October 10, 2014. I must admit that I never thought NC would allow same-sex marriage after Amendment One passed in 2012 which was unnecessary since NC’s state constitution already defined marriage between a man and a woman.
People started lining up outside the court in hopes to get a seat to hear the historical arguments several days before it was to start. The argument will focus on 2 questions: are bans on same-sex marriage constitutional and if they are, whether those states may refuse to recognize out of state marriages that were performed where they are legal.
The whole reason there is even a case is Michigan, Ohio, Tennessee and Kentucky. They’re defending bans that have been put into place in their states against same-sex marriage. These states won their case in lower courts but since other appeal courts won’t listen to these arguments anymore it has to be settled by the Supreme Court.
On the other end of the argument are 12 cases, consolidated of 12 couples and 2 widowers. They filed these lawsuits because of the way the bans affected their lives.
Widower Jim Obergefell filed his case first and therefore the other cases have been combined and are known under his name. The case was filed after Jim and in partner of 20 years John Arthur, who was bedridden from ALS (remember the ice bucket challenge) flew from Cincinnati to Maryland after the Supreme Court struck down the federal law banning the government from recognizing same-sex marriages performed in states where they are legal.
Just a few days after that they learned that Ohio would not recognize Jim as a surviving spouse on John’s death certificate. A federal judge ordered the state of Ohio to record Jim as the surviving spouse when the time came, which was a little over 3 months after getting married in the plane they charted sitting on the tarmac in Maryland and they did. But the state appealed and if their case is won in court, they can reissue the death certificate without Jim’s name on it.
Take action today. Go to HRC and use the hashtag #LoveCantWait. You can also text “marriage” to 30644 for updates, just keep in mind that SMS and data rates may apply.
Use the pictures for your social media to spread the news. Arguments start Tuesday and we should have the decision in June.
Jason
Only the fools among us think love is dependent on marriage. Quit whining and get a life!!
Why should I have any less of a right to marry the person I love and be recognized as having all the same rights as any heterosexual couple.
There’s all this talk about “redefining marriage” but, really, we already have. Originally marriage was about creating a stable group to increase the odds of survival. Now, we consider it a matter of loving each other, and if two people decide to get married who don’t love each other, we look at them funny and think they are wrong. Why is it such a bad thing to extend that definition of love to homosexual couples?
Considering only 5% of gay unions last more than 20 years, compared to 59% of straight marriages, this whole court issue is ridiculous. It upsets people and forces businesses and churches to go against their own views. Just live together and on to the next one when you get tired of them!
To Randy. Same sex marriage isn’t about love, it’s about rights! Same sex couples are precluded from over 2000 rights and privileges that married couples enjoy under the law. Survivorship, the right to visit a sick partner in the hospital and tax breaks just to name a few. Please do some research on a subject before weighing in and proving yourself to be the REAL FOOL in the future.
I live in North Carolina and when I ask my friends if they have gotten married, their response is now “why be in a rush”. These are the same gay couples that have protested, supported equality and marched in the PRIDE parade(s), but now all of the sudden they don’t want to get married. I know marriage is not for everyone, but if you are going to be seen on the news and attend every gay event pushing for this right, then what was all the fuss for before October 10, 2014.
I personally do not believe in marriage of any type. However, for those of you that want to marry to should be able to get married. The US Constitution says that we are ALL created equal. There is no misunderstanding those words. The government does not have the right to deny equal rights to anyone, even if the majority of the people do not agree with equal rights. The US Constitution rules in this country.
Sick of the social activism…I vote against gay marriage. Want to have a legally recognized union with the same benefits, advantages or even disadvantages as heterosexual marriage? I’m all for it. Just don’t call it something it’s not.
The Declaration of Independence stated all men are equal. Queried about the word ‘men’, Thomas Jefferson replied that he meant all humankind. Hence when blacks are not equal, when women are not equal, when gays are not equal – hatred and angst on both sides (pro and con) point to an issue neither is looking at.
First: the ONLY ‘viable’ source of gay strife is religion. No need to recount the ghastly errors of religion other than to say that religion, as a viable source of anything is not reliable. Historically, in a war after conquering it was custom to rape all women, children, men, probably pets too. The reason a ‘man shall not lay with a man’ was to stop humiliation after conquering – not to declare a definition of a loving or marriage relationship.
Second: In America, either all men are equal as Declared . . . or the Declaration is, to all men, a mockery!
That the issue of gay rights or marriage equality continues to persist in America, based on the viability of religion and based on the Declaration, is unconscionable and UN-American.
Dave
I must say love is love as long as both individuals feels it in their hearts and souls. I say bring on equality. I’m 32 be 33 in May located in Lexington KY and I’m looking for my husband. I’m known as ( comcast-galaxy on adam4adam )
This case is not about marriage being important to love. This case is about the equal choice to be recognized by others that your relationship is just as valid as theirs. Cultures around the world have a ritual for this, yet the ones most screaming for these bans claim THEIR religious culture determines your right to be bound to another. When this all started it was “two men/women can’t love each other. It’s just sex” then when they saw that they said “two men/women can’t be together, it won’t work”. Now that hey see gay men and women are just like them and can love and be loved back they are trying to cling to “two men/women can’t marry” as the last crutch that let’s them claim to be better. Without that thin stick keeping their pillar up, they see just how little difference there really is. I’m not about to rush out into a marriage as soon as it’s legal, but that doesn’t mean I have the right to belittle or determine what two people I will never meet in my life choose for themselves.
Let me just start by saying: to each his own. That being said, why in the hell would anyone want to get married straight or gay. All marriage should be banned- not that I really care. If two peoe are happy together, be together…chances are it will not last forever…& if it does: great! Marriage is such a tired institution it is pathetic, just like the religions that initiated the rite ( I don’t really care if that’s accurate). I find the people who are strongly against same sex marriage & for it just sad. If you want to get married, gather your friends & tell each you love each other, have a party, pin a badge on each other & get on with the important things in life like living right without being consumed by tire institutions created by tired institutions! That’s my opinion & I love having the freedom to express it. That felt good!
It’s about equal protection under the law Randy, not about love. So yeah, I’m not whining I’m shouting!
I watched a great movie called “Married and Counting,” narrated by George Takei from “Star Trek.” It’s about this gay couple that’s gotten married like 10 times as it became legal in various states.
Reference is made to 37 states that have legalized gay marriage. Few states legalized. Most of the 37 states had it forced upon them by courts.
DS, if you want to post such laughably impossible claims, you need to back them up. As was discussed in the case yesterday, the Netherlands first allowed SSM in 2001. So yes, less than 5% of those marriages have lasted 20 years. In fact, it’s 0%, since the longest of those marriages is 14 years.
It always amazes me what bitter people will make up.
my god, isn’t the divorce rate high enough? men think too much with their dicks anyway….marriage does not work as long as there are men that CHEAT on their partner-gay, st8, confused-whatever
True love and marriage should be be dependent on our biological sex. That being said many people site that other countries allow same sex and so should we. While there are countries that allow same sec marriages it not as many as you think there are far more that allow a type of civil union. It is exactly like marriage afford that couple all rites and protections they even get a certificate but instead of say marriage licenses it say certificate of civil union. I think this big issue happens because we all wanted it to say marriage licenses. It a big deal over semantics. Many states including mine which bans same sex marriage was all ready to let same sex get a civil union. (Remember legal the exact same thing just direct title) but no we fought to have it say marriage. One word causes this whole order. Remember 80% of countries that people say allow gay marriage actually don’t it is a civil union. I just am pissed at this because if they had just accepted the civil union wording me a my BAE could be living legally linked. Instead we signed a bunch of paper work to co-mingle our lives. When a civil union would have done it easier. So I just want same legal right I could care less wether it says marriage or civil union l.
Simple fix: write an amendment stating that any previous use of the term marriage, spouse, and such shall also include provisions fors for civil union, common law partner, and other related terms.
Fine “Informed” (hardly), get all those things….just don’t call it marriage. I think we know who the real fool here is.
*shall also apply to civil unions, common law partners etc.
I agree with John, at this stage of the game, many people who are against equal rights for all LGBT people are trying to make laws that gives business the right it refuse service to us. This issue was fought back in the 50s and solved for the most part in 1964/65. Those laws prohibited discrimination in public accommodation, which allowed African Americans to have the same rights as Whites to eat, sleep, and travel across America. Marriage Rights should also be added to the list of rights Heterosexuals enjoy. It’s much more then just a piece of paper, but the right to legally Marry the one you love, if that’s your choice. It also gives you the protection from the rapidly growing voices that try to convince the American People that we should not be allowed to have any rights. We must stand ready to cheer, or fight harder to make it a reality. All we are asking is that we be afforded the option to choose Marriage. Waiting any longer is out if the question, the time has been long enough.
Historically, the institution of marriage has little or nothing to do with love. It has all to do with sealing a contract, an agreement. Kingdoms, families throughout various cultures, households, legal obligations, etc. have historically been linked with marriage. So, if any two consenting legal adults want to engage in a contractual agreement, why should any government be able to prevent. It should not matter whether it is a heterosexual union, or a homosexual union.
Attempting to cloak this in the trappings of love, are nothing but a smoke screen.
Older men have been able to marry younger women for centuries with no hesitation (maybe other than their families for the money they think they may have to relinquish when the old guy passes).
And on the subject of the bible stating that a man should not lay with another man in the same way he lays with a woman, I agree… I don’t enjoy laying with a woman the same way as I do a man, so I would totally lay with them differently! Next!
Personally, i have been married to a woman, had a commitment ceremony with my 1st partner. I’m not sure i would ever do it again, i don’t believe a piece of paper should define why i love someone. I think it’s more of a legal stand point for people that are together for many years, to protect them from others, ( families) from coming in and taking something you have spent building up with that person you loved! Whether it’s man and man, woman and woman, man and woman! We are all families, that together can love, share and care and raise our children.
Out of my 15 years of marraige to a woman, i had 2 children, my daughter just told me she is bi, who knows maybe someday she will be a full lesbian and i hope by that time if she should find someone she wants to be with, that legally she can! I want her to be able to have and build something with someone and not have someone take it away from her. I am so glad she was open and honest with me! And i have always told my children to be who they are no matter what others think, because i had to struggle with it my entire life!
THe historical decision may will cover to USA territories as Puerto Rico. We are hoping expecting a positive decision supporting equal rights to US citizenship !!!!
We sure do “LK” as proven by your response. The topic of this particular blog is Gay Marriage, not “Invent some provision that affords all the same things under the law as marriage, but call it something else”. You idiot.
The whole notion of “marriage equality” is a misnomer because we already had the same marriage rights as anyone else before any State passed same-sex marriage or the Federal DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) was passed and signed into law by Bill Clinton if I am not mistaken.
One has to remember that when DOMA was passed, not a single state allowed same-sex marriage (some allowed civil unions to give some of the legal benefits that the “meaningless piece of paper” brings). Some states reinforced the traditional marriage with 1 man, 1 woman laws. If attitudes have changed since a particular State’s voters passed such provisions, then by all means get it before the voters again and get it changed.
But to get back to the “marriage equality” misnomer, everyone, no matter if they were gay, straight, bi etc had the same right to marry anyone they wanted as long as (particulars may vary by State), they included…
1) of consenting age (if under age, parents or guardians may give their consent) and not coerced (no shotgun weddings)
2) human (no inanimate objects or other species)
3) not a direct blood relative
4) one at a time (no polygamy)
5) the opposite gender
Granted other restrictions have been chipped away over time. But who is to say that those that fall into the categories above aren’t being discriminated against too? What about their rights??
When the Supreme Court overturned part of DOMA, the Court said in doing so that the definition of marriage wasn’t Federal territory (even though I agreed with the intent of DOMA, I agreed with the Court on that point), that it was up to the States to decide and define (be it Legislatively or by democratic vote of the people). What the Feds should have done after that decision was to observe the laws of the States when it came to Federal benefits etc (the State where a person had legal residence would dictate). But instead the Feds decided to ignore the States rights issue (instead of keeping out of it like the DOMA decision implied).
But the Court did an about face when the cases came up from those states that had defined marriage as opposite gender, they let the lower courts which overturned those bans to stand. Those forcing those States to allow same-sex marriage and creating a majority of States that now do so.
When it comes to the “equal protection” (other states accepting valid marriages from other states even if their laws didn’t permit it there) is a valid point BUT I distinctly remember proponents insisting that it wouldn’t be the case.
This isn’t about being able to love who you love or even being able to have sex with someone. It is about having new rights that no one had before. Yes, it is even granting that new “right” to straights, who for whatever reason, may decide to get married to a same-sex person, but it is a new “right” nonetheless.
I see a time when gays become as the Jews: targets for those those that live by fear, bigotry and use religion as an excuse. Do people forget …God loves everyone..PERIOD. Everything in this world is a sin. I am a gay believer. No sin is greater than another. Yes the bible says homosexuality is a sin….now add all the rest..like lying, cheating, stealing, not sharing, having a better than thou attitude, etc…etc…etc… sounds like a level playground to me and yes we should repent of our sins. God came to save all of us and allowed us to live otherwise we would not be here..PERIOD. People need to get back to morality..love one another…love the one you are with…and stay with them…help one another. And enough of this gay pride CRAP. Dressing up like whores, drag queens, etc as if this represents the gay people…it represents just what you show…drag queens, whores and gives a bad representation. LEARN !!! The majority of us gays live productive, decent and caring lives and help others. The far left gays need to grow up and quirt promoting their sub agenda. As for equality…we should as people be able to choose who we are with, be entitled to equal benefits and the right to share insurance, bank accounts etc. The word marriage means none of that. Civil Union should suffice and be 50 states accepted and transferable over all states. If marriage is the hang-up, then so be it …let that world imply man and woman. Civil union can imply all other. Why is the word marriage so important. Really folks, you are pushing too far in my opinion. And one last comment. Civil Unions should be just as tough to get out of as a marriage. There are children that get hurt…and usually because most gay man can’t quit worshipping the penis…HOW DISGUISTING. Self check time. If you are sincere about social change, then be a role model too. BE SPECIAL.
DS…. where you get your info from ?… My man and i have been together for 40 years come Dec…when we got together we decided then to stay together….and you know what….it got better as the years passed…we looking for another 10 years more…so get over it…our dicks still get hard for one another…bet yours is shrinking from not getting enuff…lol
Quit whining people…you sound like children who want it both ways and you cant get it both ways…
The gay community has been conned by radical, anti-christian leftists. This is not about love, rights or any of the mainstream arguments. It is a smear campaign targeted at Christianity and nothing more. The leftists don’t care about us or our rights, their only concern is their anti-Christian agenda. The lawsuits against churches who refuse to perform and ordain gay marriages are already written, and they are just waiting for a favorable ruling from the SCOTUS, then all they need are names to put on them. We are being used as tools, just wait and see. Also, any argument against polygamous, incestuous or inter-special union will be invalid. Once you open Pandora’s box, there is no going back, this is going to be absolute chaos
“Attempting to cloak this in the trappings of love, are nothing but a smoke screen.” Being 2015, we’re no longer marrying for the purposes of dowry, property consolidation, treaties or noble lineage. This is the general purpose for marriage in our society.
Also, I’m sadly unsurprised to see the self-loathing brigade show its face on this one.
Lets get something straight (pun intended) — the RIGHT to be married is not the same as FORCING a church to marry people.
There are NO lawsuits asking ANY church or other religious organization to actually perform the wedding, only that GOVERNMENT agencies have to issue licenses.
My own opinion is that States have always had the right to say who could get married — when it had medical or other legitimate reasons. They got their hands slapped in the 60’s over barring interracial marriage, and they’re likely to get their hands slapped again here.
But the one thing thing that is almost a GIVEN, because it has history behind it: if you’re legally married in one state, it should be recognized in ALL states.
But, for example – if I’m a christian baker and don’t believe in divorce, I can tell a couple being married for the 4th time each that I’m just too busy to do their cake — but I can’t say I won’t do their cake because they’re not Christian enough… and the same goes for the gay wedding. You can be too busy for the work (even if the shop is otherwise EMPTY), but you can’t say “I won’t help gays get married”.
That’s my take!
Chip in Wrinkle City (aka: St. Petersburg, FL)
ROFLMFAO:) The Adam4Adam site would surely give a good idea of how well Gay Marriage will work!=)
BearOKC69, everyone used to have the same right to marry someone of the same race. Did Loving change the definition of marriage. I don’t believe it did. It allowed others into the exact same institution. Other changes in marriage made it egalitarian, and when this happened, there was no reason to exclude same sex couples from the exact same institution. This is not a new right in any way.
JaysSN: I respectfully disagree. If there is “no reason to exclude same sex couples from the exact same institution” what about those in the other exclusionary categories I mentioned? Aren’t they being discriminated against? What about their rights to “marry who they love”?
So many cocks so little time i sure as hell dont need to be held back .
I believe in love I believe in marriage as far as gay people cause im a member of the family I think its impossible. Why? Cause it always involves sex and my fellow family members do not know the difference between love and lust.
Richard, just because your tendency is to the profoundly homophobic and self loathing doesn’t mean others don’t deserve equality. Especially those many couples (both gay and lesbian) who have been together 40, 50, 60 years. Now, I personally prefer lust, and wouldn’t get married, but I at least support my LGBT “family” (and really, if that’s how you feel, STOP using that word.)
BearOKC, children and animals cannot consent, so there’s that one down. Blood relatives are a universal taboo, but first cousins can marry in many states, so there’s that. Same sex is addressed here, and polygamy has NOTHING to do with this. Once polygamists ask for marriage rights that’s their fight, not ours (though there would be some overlap of course.). It would also require a new legal framework, while this of course does not.
But way to be on the side of those who would deprive us everything. You’re in great company.
I was married to a woman 14 years, ended in divorce, You guys have no idea of what your asking for. You can do everything married people do, legally with a contract, living will, durable power of attorney etc, when your in love and wanting to do the right things. If it ends in divorce, lawyers will settle it and laugh all the way to the bank,also can you imagine the divorce courts full of screaming crying emotional queens, people will pay to go watch the drama
Jay you dont know me. I love my family and im the most understanding person in the world and accepting. How can I be homophobic when Iim gay myself and I certainly love myself. People should be married whoever they are. But im 58 and ive experienced alot. Ive been tried by fire because of men but im a stronger person because of it. I dont know how old you are but maybe you havent gone what ive gone through. Hopefully not. And never will. Be careful with the name calling cause that can come back and bite you on the ass. Its called karma.
JaysSN: Gotchya.
So as long as you have YOURS covered, you don’t care about others “rights”? I am not advocating that any of the other categories be struck down too but it is just a matter of time before someone in those other groups demand their “rights” as well (most likely using same-sex marriage as a precedent).
Age of consent laws are often an arbitrary number that varies. Current age of consent laws weren’t always that way. Either there was no definition or the numbers were lower. Emotional and physical maturity levels vary. One 16 year old may be ready but some 25 year old, not even close.
Universal taboo? Same could have been said about same sex marriage not that long ago. It was taboo not only in the U.S. but in most of the world for centuries, even millennia.
Are you drawing the line with 1st cousins? What about parents/children/siblings etc?
If the argument goes “allow me to marry the one I love”, why can’t those of different species give their consent?
Polygamy is one of the discriminatory categories, so it DOES have something to do with it, but I am curious, what new “legal framework” would be required?
Deprive us of “everything”? Again, neither you or I are being deprived of the right to marry. We had the same rights as everyone else. We could marry anyone we desire as long as they don’t fall in to any of those exclusionary categories as defined by the State. What makes same-sex marriage so special?
Why do guys have to be personal when they’re responding to someone elses comments. It’s okay to comment but it shows what youre made out of when you get personal. You have to be better than that.
I’m not sure why this is even a question or why people have trouble grasping the fact that none of us live in bondage. If two men, two women or a man and a woman want to get married, what business is it of anyone’s other than the two people getting married? Did they invite you to their ceremony? What exactly are you afraid of?
Is it that 70% of so called “One man and One woman” marriages end up in divorce yet they get to comment on knowing what is right for others? Why not consider this thought before we go saying if it is right or wrong.
Heterosexual men and women have proven throughout time to be irresponsible individuals because they have sex, produce a child out of wedlock and then it is either get an abortion, put the kid up for adoption or be raised by a single parent while the so called model for society runs away to start the entire process all over again. This is what you call moral and correct?
What about two men or two women? When they choose to marry, they are most likely both college educated, are making the choice out of love, not because they made a mistake and didn’t wear a condom. They will most likely adopt a child which is the product of a heterosexual’s lack of responsibility and the child will not only grow up in a home where they are nurtured, they will grow up in a healthy, loving environment and are much more likely to become College educated themselves. If it so happens the child they adopted was born gay, they are much more likely to have the necessary support system in place to grow up mentally healthy but most definitely not so in a heterosexual family. That child will either be ostracized to the point they commit suicide, have to hide in fear of who they really are ot end up getting thrown out of their home for being born homosexual. This is what we are holding up as the gold standard?
Do you know how difficult it is for a homosexual couple to adopt? How many background checks they must go through? So if we are talking about our moral compass heterosexuals, we should help them fix their situation. So here goes.
No heterosexual man or woman can have children out of wedlock and is a jailable offense. No more abortions as a means to end pregnancy unless in extreme cases and oops, we didn’t wear a condom is not an acceptable excuse.
Secondly, once they are married, they have extensive background checks done on both of them to judge if they are “fit” parents and then they have the permission of the state to have a child. Singular.
The statistics clearly show in a heterosexual marriage, maybe one of them will be educated, the other will probably be a drop out. They will have multiple children out of wedlock, so the father has no reason to stick around and then society is left to support these two peoples irresponsible behavior. I think what heterosexuals are really afraid of is the carnival ride is over, they will be held accountable for their actions and it isn’t how many can we inseminate before it catches up with us.
Having multiple children is not a career choice and with an atrocious divorce rate, I think instead of pointing fingers about what is right or wrong and EVERYONE who stands up for heterosexuals, instead, take that new found energy and start fixing your divorce rate, get rid of the irresponsibility everywhere and the entire structure of a heterosexual relationship needs a radical reworking because if the heterosexual women knew by their own obnoxious behavior, how many of their husbands actually seek out other men to have sex with, they’d quickly hide their shame, expose the husbands, publish their faces in the newspaper and on billboards and watch how quickly things would change. Don’t get me wrong, women are not saints either and cheat on their heterosexual partners just the same.
Where things vastly differ is in the divorce rate.
Divorce rate of Heterosexuals – 70% Proven fact
Divorce rate of Homosexuals – Less than 5% Proven fact
I actually did a project in school to display the hypocrisy of the entire argument to even remotely suggest not allowing humans to marry. Yes, that’s right. homosexuals are human too, just like heterosexuals are. except we are far less filthy, we pay our taxes, we do not create babies and then use abortion as a birth control device, we do not destroy a child’s life and sabotage their future through divorce. Since the two homosexuals that got married are college educated, they will be paying taxes and contributing to society while the uneducated heterosexuals will end up on government assistance, probably a single parent raising multiple children while the father runs off to start the entire process over again. The flimsy argument again was what? What will they pull out of their bag of nothingness to support their argument? God? He said love thy neighbor like I love thyself. Come now, you can’t pick and choose as you see fit. it either is or it isn’t and am afraid with your atrocious divorce rate, the ills of society just having heterosexuals around to begin with, they should quickly be quiet and go about their business lest someone set some standards they need to live by. Which is what they are really afraid of.
Think about it for a little
Welfare
Food stamps
Abortion
Single parent marriages
Dysfunctional families
Almost 3/4 divorce rate
They pass on these ‘great morals” onto their offspring perpetuating the cycle of never ending trouble.
I’ll make you a deal. Homosexuals don’t get to marry but in exchange, heterosexuals may not give birth to any child out of wedlock. If they do, they are both sterilized. Background checks are done to make sure both are fit parents before allowing them to have children and both male and female have to hold a Bachelor’s degree or a minimum of Master’s degree before they can even be remotely considered to have children. If you put the child up for adoption, both parents are forcibly seized, sterilized and jailed until the child reaches the age of 21 and then they can have their freedom back. If abortion is used as a means of birth control, in other words for a means other than say rape, both parents are permanently sterilized.
Watch how quickly one of two things occur. Either the standard of living shoots up like a rocket or they can simple say Hey, those two men or those two women have a right to get married, and adopt children because we all live in a free country and plenty of gay men’s blood have been spilled in order to ensure our society lives free.
So let’s not get into debates where there is no chance for a heterosexual to win other than for them to be quiet, go about their business. Feel free to repost what I have written because the hypocrisy needs to end. it is 2015 and we should be where we are today back in 1985