Gay Stuff : What People Don’t Tell You
The human mind is an extraordinary machine, and not all of us are Professor X or Jean Grey from the X-men. We can’t read each and every thought that passes through a person’s mind. American society prides itself in the institution of “freedom” but inside, are we changing peoples’ minds or just keeping them in mental cages?
Smithsonian did a survey using a different approach in order to get the most honest answers they could. Regarding sexuality; hey we all know people say one thing and then do another. Look at all the Senators and religious leaders who publicly demand that we are given no rights until they eventually get caught having sex with another guy. People say and do extraordinary things to get what they want. To put it on a smaller scale; have you ever met a guy who presented himself as everything you were looking for until the moment you sleep with him? Then he never calls you again? Some guys will play the role until they get what they want; gay people know that more than most.
Reality checks are good for us; they help us honestly look at the state of things and then assess what we need to do to challenge ourselves and what we need to do to challenge society. The survey used a veiled system which protected the privacy and anonymity of the person(s) being surveyed. In a state of “oh…no one will ever find out that this is how I feel” people are far more likely to say exactly what they think. On the positive side, the results were pretty interesting. A significant number of people admitted that they were gay, and a significant number admitted to having same-sex experiences. Negatively, a staggering percentage admitted anti-gay opinions, such as how much they hated their gay boss and so on, and my heart sank when I read how high the percentage was of people who thought it was totally okay to discriminate against gay people.
Sometimes I get depressed because I really feel like a large number of people who say “I’m okay with gay people” would never put their rights or lives on the line for us. But as many times as I’ve found myself in that space, it’s exactly that time that the most unlikely person will say “hey, I did [some thing] the other day in protest because it’s appalling how gay people are treated”. We can never know what’s in the mind of a person and what their personal fears are concerning gay people, and the survey (though a slap in the face for me) only tells me a little bit about a group of people who are living in that fear. Far more encouraging to me are the people (regardless of sexuality) whose minds and actions are both in tandem. The straight guy who asks me to go have a drink with him or go watch a movie with him, and laughs at the idea that people might think we’re on a date; The Southern Baptist grandmother who comes over and makes me soup when I’m sick; The nuclear family that invites me over every holiday just in case I don’t have somewhere I can be myself; it’s these little gestures that give me hope.
MakeMeABird
I had a guy spend the night with me and made love to me 6 times thru out the night. We kissed and it felt good. I knew he was the one for me. He told me he really likes me and that I could be the one for him. That was 6 months ago. No word except for ” thanks for a great time “. I cried all day.
Guys that put in their profile that they are DDF, play safe only and expect the same. When you meet them they tell you all about the unsafe play that have had and want me to trust them.
I totally agree with this. Me and my partner have been together for quite some time (Thanks to a guy named Adam ;)) One of us lived very open in their sexuality, the other was in the military for ten years. Our environments were so different as were our opinions on homosexuality. I, the military one, felt Don’t as Don’t tell was a nationally accepted way of living. My partner has been extremely patient with allowing me to see the gay life as an ok life. It’s not as simple as a light switch, even when you are ready to come out. Since our relationship, I have grown as a man and a human being. My family loves me and us both. His family embraces our bond as well. If it wasnt for our openness, I too would have played the “straight” role if my gay brothers were burned t the stake. As long as I was safe. Since being in an open partnership, I hve seen compassion from even the people I felt would deny me because of my sexual pref. In the end, they have become supporters and friends. In the end, it’s the human condition that matters.
If you want respect, you have to give respect! We bring a lot of that on ourselves! Think about how we present ourselves!!!! To society men acting like women is not normal, grown men call each other girl, where I live the pride parade is a bunch of half naked men, and drag queens! I am homosexual, and it turns me off!!!!!!!!!!! Imagine what someone who is not homosexual thinks when they see it on the local news later that evening! We constantly separate ourselves! Does anyone know the definition of faggot, and it only has power because we give it power!
First off,there’s nothing wrong with people showing what they feel. And hell,when the (straight)men go into the strip bars,they don’t care what she is wearing! Clothing express what others need to see but not what they know. Drag queens,drag kings,do your thing! You’re not hurting anyone. As being GAY you will never equal up to society standards. Don’t live your life afraid of being you. It’s sad a GAY men is ashamed of other gay men exspressing themselves. REMEMBER when you was scared to be you?? Sometimes it’s sad to hear a Homosexual degrade,hate,and put down other Homosexuals. Sad!
Now y’all know what it like to be black in America
I don’t think its men taking advantage of gay men, it’s men in general. Men will say/do what they need to get that booty, whether heterosexual or homosexual. It’s up to you to filter out the bullshit and the truth
Let’s face it, for the most part, people will tell you what (they think) you want to hear. There are very few people who “tell it like it IS!”
This goes to Get Real: Those half naked guys in the parade, as well as the drag queens have feelings too, imagine for a second that you are in their shoes and you are the one there with a wig and heels shaking your hips… Why do you care about what heterosexual people might think about it?? The drag queens and the half naked guys, just like you and me deserve respect, even if their behaviour doesn’t match what you expect from them…
i’ve been seeing this ex mil guy for 2 yrs and 4 months now, he is married, i am separated, he is drifting away lately, the text messages that was daily before now its forbidden cause he says my text messages are too revealing as he knows how i feel about him, he is too scared his wife might see it..i was even forbidden to call him, his conditions are killingme..i am falling in love with him..last holidays he went to ALABAMA with his family, 2 weeks no emails but one telling me hope i had a great christmas and a greatyear ahead.. before he left we met 2x sucking him off in my car..i am seeing him this coming friday at a hotel.. i am doomed…i set my self falling in love with a married guy knowing in the end we wont be together..
I do think we as gay men want the world to be gay’ but that’s not gonna happen”” We put a lot of tension on people to accept us’ and we don’t have to do that””” we think with our sexual behavior, and that’s our problem””””
Sleeping all night with a guy is not gonna make him like you’ he just likes the sex, not really you***. We prance around all the time with a fishtail hand shake, and a finger tip wave as to tell the world I’m gay, and then you find yourself alone…
I have found out that a real man does not care for the show of being gay”” and he doesn’t care for holding your hand in public” he’s not looking for a woman’s touch. He wants a man just like he is””. We have become to fashion mindedly gay, and outwardly dramatic’ This type of gay man is to much to be around sometimes,, he is looked at as drama”””. I have seen attractive tranny get more men taking them serious than him””. We need to man up sometime” then that man you look for will show up**
You can’t always believe what people say, but you can observe what they do.
Want to know what a guy is really like? Watch how he treats the waitress.
Like maya angelou said, the first time someone shows you who they truly are, believe them.
Damn ,,,Get Real…You hit it right on the head…I’m with you… too hate the men acting like and looking like women…that is why we are treated like freaks and yes drag queens are the worst!….It’s fuel for the fire and my gay brothers better start realizing the damage they do!
I totally agree with get real, society was never founded on homosexuality so why if u want to live in their world do u want to live contrary to the life they accept. A lot of str8 ppl dont mind if u are gay as long as you dont go outside the boundaries with dem even though ppl have said it so many times and it may seem true. well am from a small caribbean country and as long as u dont flaunt it and rub it in peoples faces or try to make it a subject u would be fine. I myself think that your sexuality is yours to kno not for anyboy else to find out, if they do den albeit, society is sometimes too weak and seems to want too much info on ev rybody. The point is this i would never support same sex marriage as this can never produce the same effect as tradition or the natural nor the men dressed as women nor the half naked men in the gay parade even though maybe if not for some of those things society would not see the need to deal with the discrimination and the hypocrisy, yet there must’ve been an alternative route, i kno am gay and i may have a gay partner and dats all it needs to be plus none of us in our capacities now could say that we grew up seeing 2 mommies and two daddies yet our foundations and our upbringing were sound.
Umm… This is what’s wrong with the gay community right now. You want people to accept us and see us as people, but you can’t even accept the people in your own community! Drag Queens aren’t the reason why the fire is being fueled. It’s hatred! Feminine men aren’t the reason for the ‘fire!’ It’s ignorance and nonacceptance. People are who they are whether they are masculine, feminine, Drag Queen, or otherwise. Telling them they are making us look bad is actually the most fucked up thing I ever heard. It’s actually the nonacceptance that makes us look bad because if we can’t accept all aspects of our community, how can we expect the non-members to accept us.
Keep that in mind when you say things. You have your own opinions and you are entitled to say them as you please, but don’t spread hate along with it!
IF EVERYONE GAY & STR8 WAS REAL and spoke how they honestly feel then life would be much easier , instead most don’t , they tend to worry about what so n so will think ,, how will people view me , i find more shallow people in the world than real,,, i personally don’t care if you wear designer clothes , drive a Mercedes, have a 10″ dick, or a model for sasson, beauty lie within a persons soul, forget the fake values on the outside and find the true ones inside , i don’t care how pretty you think you are , if you have an ugly heart you will always be ugly to me …
never judge a person from appearances look inside , when /if you find that special soul then you will know what real love is , you heart and undistorted mind will know that is the one for you weather he/she is “pretty” or not….
Uh oh.. 😉 here’s another post where the comments section will show how intolerant and unaccepting a segment of the gay community REALLY is!!
But to the point of saying thing then doing another. Don’t you love meeting someone who says, “yeah I’m into threeways and groups” and when the situation presents itself he looks at you like you grew a second head and then judges you for it, just one month into the relationship? Gotta love it!
To all my gay brothers and sisters. I love you all, i’m 57 yesrs old and have come to the conclusion that I’m never going to find love. I don’t think gay men really want love just sex. Sorry. The article was very informative but we’re never going to be accepted in american society. It’s just the way it is.
I agree with Get Real! I’m attracted to men and I expect him to act like one.I think drag queens and all those guys that act or dress like women should be called something else like gay women or I don’t know but I’m totally serious.