A4A : Alone For Christmas
Hi guys! I hope you are all doing well. I will probably write less on the blog in the next few days because of Christmas holidays. I am going in my family the 24th and then I’ll take few days off but I’ll still try to send you little notes or show you some sexy photos on Facebook and Twitter.
This morning I saw a photo on Facebook that said “My heart goes to all the LGBT people out there, who can’t go home for Christmas because they aren’t accepted by their family”. I’ve never thought about it, but when I saw it on Facebook, I thought wow, it’s true…. some people don’t get to see their family because they aren’t accepted, that’s crazy!
So I am personally with all of you out there, I know it’s hard. My suggestion would be to try to have a good times anyway! Take some time for you and to do things you love. Eat your favorite food, listen to your favorite Xmas music (mine is Celine and Mariah of course), watch your favorite movies while eating your favorite snacks, maybe go to the spa during the day etc…. It’s important to take time for you, you deserve it!
You could maybe also reach out to some of your friends as well, you would be surprised how many of them are at home alone as well thinking that everyone is busy. I am alone on the 25th. Yesterday I texted 2 friends and they told me they were alone as well, so we will do a dinner and spend the evening together for Christmas.
So I am sending you all my love! I’d like to thank everyone for your kind words that you send me everyday on social medias and on the blog. I hope you enjoy the fun things and other more serious topics I post every day on the blog and thanks for being a member of Adam4Adam! All our team is working very hard to get you the best website/apps possible for free. Merry Christmas to all!
Don’t forget to “like” us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter!
Dave
I am an older male that told my Mother years ago when I was in my 20’s and she told my siblings–because of the way she told them behind my back they have never fully excepted me or any of my boyfriends or lover at the time. I am not invited to family gatherings anymore which I miss.
Although I do know that my siblings do care about me as a person one of my sisters wants me to call her once a week to report in to her since my mother died.
I have also tried to invite friends over for the Holidays and have even tried with roommates to make the Holidays pleasant for them and so far have gotten know where with either and even after the expense of buying the food, preparing the food only to have it go uneaten and lay to waist.
This time of year is also bad for me. I have lost my Father who was born on Christmas morning, a very good friend and co-worker from NYC who was decapitated, my first lover took his own life-his B-Day was on the 23rd of this month, and two more co-workers and drinking buddies who died both from the AIDS virus.
So now I do not celebrate the Holidays anymore, even though my heart tells me that I should.
I,m going to be alone to .but I,m going to enjoy my free time off work amd maybe go pamper myself with a well needed massage . MERRY XMAS to all here on this great site . peace and love to all
Merry Christmas to one and ALL (Haters included)
I think that this is an extremely thoughtful gift that you’ve given to all of us. Though I’m accepted by my family, I realize that not all of us are. That being said, I hope that you, too, have a great Christmas.
I often read your blog, however, never comment. Tonight’s topic was rather touching, though.
Although I cannot directly relate to those individuals faced with such loneliness at this time, I can relate to their family’s rejection. I tried coming out to my parents as a junior in high school…I was met with the all too cliché ultimatum; sexuality or family. Depending on your perspective…I responded rather bravely…or in cowardice. Regardless, I’m living a straight lifestyle now and have three kids of my own. Despite my family’s unwillingness to accept my natural preferences, I do not fault them for their response. I know they reacted to my admission in the only way they were taught…with naivety and negativity. I love my family very much and can’t imagine my life without them. I’m not saying my chosen path is for everyone…or anyone else. I will say that I do hope we all live without regret where our sexuality is concerned…and, where necessary, we take the spirit of the season and allow forgiveness and understanding in to our hearts…even if those in our thoughts are not doing the same. (I do hope my opinion does not come off as insensitive…the reality is quite the opposite).
To all I wish a very Merry Christmas and, whether it comes from others or from within, one filled with love and joy.
We are Family! Love your Fellow Gays.
you can also ask friends to hang out with them and their families. my family always has extra guests on holidays
Yes, I’ll be all alone Xmas eve and Xmas day can’t help it call of duty. I will be processing passengers to their destinations. I know is hard this is my sixth xmas doing it and it gets old.
I’m alone because of cost, couldn’t fly home this year
Hey a special thanks for all you do. Its nice to get to feel “normal” by clicking into a world no one else may understand. May we all find what we are looking for. Rather it be a quikie, a true friend, a whatever makes you happy…To that I say happy 2015 bring it on BABE bring it on.
I’ll be alone on Christmas so this year calls for red wine and thai food, Which Im really looking forward to! Overall , Im grateful for everything that iv’e been blessed with and will give thanks to that . As for the rest of those who are alone as well, I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a wonderful new Year!
It is true, my mom says dont bother just call me. She refuses to see since i came out. She is the only one. Dad will take a trip to come me, mom wont come with him. I do miss her.
Let’s differentiate between being alone and being lonely.
Being alone for a holiday can be great. No one to answer to, nothing to do, no expectations to meet.
Being lonely sucks. Best cure for it is company of sone sort. Volunteering, perhaps. Or inviting someone over for a mini celebration. It’s also a nice time to make one-minute Happy Holiday calls to those with whom you might have lost touch.
No fair guilting anyone into a last- minute invitation to join them. Offer instead to get together after the new year.
I really enjoy my solo holidays. I get caught up on my puttering, binge watch favorite movies, and snack all I want.
For many gay men and women, the family you make is more important than the family that made you. Don’t forget to celebrate those loved ones.
And no matter how crappy you think your life is, take a moment to stop and give thanks.
To me being with someone at Christmas that doesn’t love you, or care for you anymore or stuck in a marriage and your heart wants to be with someone else is the worse time ever. I have terminal cancer, stuck in a marriage that was wrong from the beginning but did right thing stuck it out for kids..and now that my days are few my heart is with someone I met years ago..and cant be with…If you see this Merry Christmas, Josh…
for anyone who reads this and understands may I wish you the happiest of the holidays and remember “you” are the most important person in your life cause if you don’t take care of yourself in everyway you can’t possibly help others and that is what this world is suppost to be about…….
You can be surrounded by family and friends yet still feel alone. I guess it all depends on whether you have a special person in your life. The fear of being alone causes people to do drastic things but until we all learn to find solace and strength in ourselves (that true special one), we’ll continue to feel alone no matter who we’re with.
Enjoy your Christmas Dave.
Ironic that Christians on Christmas would shun their own family for the way they were born, “GODS mistake” in their eyes. I take buddies with no family with me on my rounds on Christmas. We always had a few extra “family” around the house during the holidays. Mom & Dad never turned anyone away. Peace&Love!
I’m sorry, but this post made me just a little angry! It’s all very nice to feel sad for the LGBT folks who can’t go home for Christmas because their families don’t accept them. But what about the LGBT folks who don’t have any family to go home to? Those who have no living relatives? Or even those who have family across the country who cannot afford the plane fare to go home?
I have great sympathy for anyone who is alone this holiday, but not by choice.
I am with you on that
If you can’t spend the holidays with your family because they don’t accept you, consider it a big favor. They are probably close minded and and you’re probably walking around eggshells just being around them, so why would you want to do that to yourself? Create new ways of celebrating with new traditions. The friends you choose will become your family. And most of all, I remembered that today is the day we celebrate the person who came into the world who didn’t discriminate and didn’t judge. That is the true meaning of Christmas whether or not you believe in him at all.
Thanks Dave…very sweet, but also remember that there are those who may be with family but still very much alone and lonely because they haven’t been blessed with finding the guy of their dreams. Happy holidays to all. My motto has always been….”Live it up…but not so much you can’t live it down.”
First I would like to wish Adam4Adam staff and fellow members a merry christmas, and Happy Hannah.
This will mark my seventh year alone, I had a close and dear friend pass away, in this time things seem to be going form bad to worst. I was laid off from my job have only had four temp jobs in this same time period.
The only thing which keeps me going is “Hope” that the powers that be will change things for the better. If it were not for hope I would have eaten a 9mm pill at the worst point… but like the old poster of the Kitten on tree branch I keep hanging in there.
I apologize to Adam4Adam, Dave and those of you who may read this Pity Party (It helped a little to put this down in cyber ink)
May you all have a good christmas eve, a better christmas day and a Great Weekend to come and to cum 😀
I’ve spent the last 10 christmas’s alone. I’ve gotten used to it, but try not to be bitter over the holidays. Its tough with a conservative family. I have my friends and we do something special, my birthday I’d 2 days after, so I get a party after Christmas lol. So I guess I have learned to live with it.
Every year around Thanksgiving and Christmas we throw a get-together for this very purpose. There are a lot of gay people who can’t go home to their families because they’re gay or if they do go home they are expected to not speak of gay things, talk like they’re heterosexuals and not “rock the boat” – the family image is more important than accepting you for who you are. it’s very painful.
So we throw a proper Thanksgiving Dinner a week before Thanksgiving and a Christmas event in similar fashion so that people can experience the holidays in an environment where they don’t have to hide anything. If you know someone who doesn’t have somewhere to go – invite them to your home…it’s amazing what a gesture like that will do for a person’s spirit during these holidays.
I have a biological family through the accident of birth, and a logical family of friends where love is shared. It is mutually better to stay separated from the haters in the biological family. It is healthy to embrace and share the joy within my logical family.
I learned log ago that many of the accepted society norms wouldn’t work for me. If there is no “special one,” so be it. There are thousands of single people each special in their own way. There is no need to participate in any traditions that do not lift one’s spirit.
Love to all. XOXO
Love to all
I have one sibling who made Christmas horrible. Now he wants to try again this year.both NY parents are deceased and accepted me. My brother is an alcoholic and won’t stop. I would rather be by my self. Well merry Christmas.
I just cant bring myself to be with my family during the holidays. I know I am judged and blamed for breaking up my family due to all the fights I caused between my mother and father. It gets harder every year.
Back in 2007 I got a divorce because I came out. I have a daughter who is married & has 2 boys, ages 4 & 7. They don’t accept my new life, so they want nothing to do with me. I have never seen my grandsons at all, except for a few pics. I only had 2 children & my son died at birth, & my daughter & I were close before she got married. I have had a nervous break down out of this, the pain of my daughter not wanting to see me or to let me see & get to know my grandsons is very heartbreaking at times. I pray & hope someday they will wake up & let me back into their lives before its too late. Christmas was always my favorite holiday, but now its the most painful one of them all! For 7 yrs now I have spent it alone, my parents are both gone & no siblings. I have invited gay & str8 friends over in the past, but they always seem to have an excuse not to come over. So I try to make the best of it, but its still not easy as time goes by, so being lonely & not wanted is real great!!!
I have a great idea for those of you who are alone for Christmas. Instead of splashing in your own despair, make it a point to brighten someonelse’s Christmas…go to the local mission and volunteer. You’ll be surprised how helping others will make your day seem much brighter. Or some type of volunteering to those that have less than we do. Maybe call your friends that are alone as well and make it a group thing and then have your dinner with your friends after! The greatest gift was LOVE on that first Christmas. Love for one another, no matter what race, sexual orientation, etc…LOVE ENDURES ALL THINGS! Show some LOVE this holiday!
Merry Christmas to everyone. My heart goes out to all of you who will be spending it alone
I know It’s tough and as hard as it may be focus on the good things that you have no matter how few. Be it health, a job, friends, a roof over your heads and food to eat. Lets hope that next year will be better and that we’ll all be stronger from the lessons and hurts we’ve had to endure
xxx
I am one of those who is alone because of no family. My dearest sister passed away in January 2013 so this is my second alone. Been single since 1998. No one cares…I know lots of people who know I am alone but skirt the issue for fear of having to invite me. No gay friends and few straight friends for that matter…so I deal as best I can. Life is hard enough in the general works but being alone adds another layer of unhappiness thT no one cares to try to understand. Merry Christmas to all!!
worst year ever lost my business my son moved away and I dont have enough money to go be with him and his family.Life is hard somhow we move on . We came with nothing we will leave with nothing remember to love and cherish the ones closets because tom may never come….
merry christmas happy new year to all
I’m all alone as always on christmas thats why I think I hate the holidays
Its only Christmas eve and that sense of loniness is already setting in for me. But you know what, even though my family and friend’s arent here by my side, im glad knowing other all happy spending time with those that they find special. Yeah I may not have that yet but I know one year I will feeling that same feeling of bliss that their feeling now.
Thank you so. Much for recognizing the stand that some of us have to make to retain some self respect for ourselves. As a minority, raised in a Christian southern home, I made that stand and dealt with the cost. But thanks to A4A, I’ve met a Wonderful guy , who is local (DC/No.VA guys know how tough it is with the traffic and all) , and I plan to spend cuddle time with him, my bulldog and meet his family. It was always tough for me to say Merry Christmas but finally this year, I can move beyond Happy Holidays and embrace my past AND present.
I say load up your bo or lover and crash the holiday party at your families if they don’t except you. To make it worse take along a couple drag queen friends that are alone and really make them uncomfortable. Why do they get to enjoy the holiday and exclude you make them suffer just for the shear fact that you can. They can’t do anything but ask you to leave but just think how they will feel maybe it would even make some of these haters change their ways.
Family is not defined by those you share DNA sequences with. Family is the friends that you surround yourself with.
If you’re biological family can’t accept you, go do your own thing, don’t stay home feeling sorry for yourself and you don’t need anyone feeling sorry for you.
Go do your thing!
My family is small. Sometimes that’s good, sometimes I wish it would have been larger. I’m an only child. Mom was too. Dad had only one sister. All are gone except for dad. Three cousins round out the remainder of the current family and two live out of state. But I do get a card and sometimes will see them once a year. I’m accepted by all and have no problems. I’m lucky there. My dad I tihnk just tolerates my lifestyle by saying “to each his own.” I’m not totally convinced. I have a few friends, more acquaintances than anything. My best friend died two days after Thanksgiving. She and I did so much together. I doubt I will ever find another. I don’t mind being alone, but like a previous post, being lonely isn’t fun. Christmas definitely has changed since I was a kid in the 60’s/70’s. But I guess things do change and are supposed to. Having been an only child, I’m usually able to entertain myself. That special someone has eluded me which I predicted would happen decades ago. I would be alone for life. Funny how things seem to come true.
I’ve always wanted to have an open house for gay friends/acquaintances on Xmas and just have a whole bunch of people over who have no family or place to go. Someday I hope to follow through with that.
To those alone, enjoy some free time. To those lonely, I understand. Merry Christmas to all. And a safe and wonderful New Year.
Just have a Bridget Jones like Christmas Eve party. A gallon of wine and what ever else u like.
Hello everyone and wish you a very merry Xmas time.
i am spending this time with my only unconditional human being in my life..my mother.
she was resilient to accept the reality but we get along extremely well. any other family is just ignorance and hate towards me and my mom.
all i can tell you is the following:….dont stop celebrating Xmas…thats what everybody want from us..to be, to look..unhappy…
we are nice and good people and we enjoy this time. move on!!..be happy and make others happy
love you all!!
It’s Christmas, NO one should be alone. Where are the FWB’s now. If you havent reached out to the ones on your friends list then maybe your not a friend. Do want’s right. Invite them to your house. Show them that men are more then cock or ass. That a FWB does include the F part. ( F does not mean fuck).
Merry Christmas to all.
I’ve been around a long time…pre-Holocuast, in fact. The holidays are still the worst time for gay men of the entire year. Family issues, b/f issues, every sort of issue, clouds the whole season. Now that we’re more “socially accepted,” some of that isn’t quite what it used to be, but let’s face it…my mother was right decades ago, when she told me that being a gay male is “…a very lonely life.” Mom was right. I’m bi and have a wife…so that helps me through all that, but my friends out there? Many are alone and depressed, and no amount of cheering up seems to help. It’s good this subject popped up, because it’s still true, after all these years. To all those reading this tonight, someone does care. Have a restful and contended Christmas.
Enjoy the season sometimes being alone hurts but then being with people who can’t or won’t accept you for who you are will hurt more. Be around your true friends and family they are the ones that love you the most! MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HANUKKAH, & HAPPY KWANZAA!
Happy Holidays to everyone.
This will be my 11th Holiday season since I got sober. Now I get sober to change my ways and begin to enjoy life on life’s expectations, not mine. I used drugs to mask a “Bad” relationship. My ex brought a “boy” into our 14 yr relationship. Well, I did find my happiness in myself. The ex passed away in May “13, and I just found out that the “boy” passed away suddenly this past Sept. He was 43. All I can think about is if you lead a life on Nastiness. I will go unnoticed.
It doesn’t pay to be deceitful and manipulative. Try Honor and dignity! It really does go along way.
Cheers and Happy Holidays!
sorry, it’s early. I meant I “got sober” and lastly “It will not go unnoticed.” Sorry again, lack of sleep.
don’t put much stock into the holiday. i’ve lost track of the date so many times this month it’s ridiculous.
everyday should be restorative, not just some made up holiday season
Its a shame. Dad, since his divorce, is always the one the family comes to in time of need.He`s always there. This year not even an invite for Christmas. It`s very lonely and even worse to realize your being used.
When my time comes, don`t bother to circle like vultures, no pickings will be had.
My love to all…and…Merry Christmas.
my 55th birthday was on the 23rd,, then Christmas Eve , and now it’s Christmas, and everyone I know here in St Petersburg is so consumed in all their own shit that I have sat here alone for my 3 favorite days of the year,, Guess the gifts i purchased are for me now, thank GOD I adopted a little dog,or I would surly be all alone,,,, Florida gay community SUCKS,,,,Lash O:(
I will be “by myself” for Christmas, but not alone…since I can’t be with family, I decided to do something for others. I will spend the day at our local homeless shelter serving dinner and in the afternoon after dinner, I will be playing cards with some of the people that come in. (Not all of them are homeless, but some of them live in such poverty that this is their only Christmas dinner.) So my suggestion to anyone who is alone, give back to others in need.
To read the stories on here moves me and helps me to feel better that I am not alone, only lonely.
Having a small family to begin with, and all of us scattered over the US, and some estranged from one another makes it challenging at times. Since 2009 my Parents and other special friend/family members are all gone now and I too have been alone on Chistmas since then.
Sometimes I am okay with it and other times I think that this is not the way I imagined my life would turn out. I always wanted to have big holiday gatherings, the House just busting at the seems with family and friends alike. But it was not meant to be. Gay life is full of extremes, the highs are very high and the lows are very low. But I suppose life in general is that way. Many of our Heterosexual Brothers/Sisters experience a different kind of loneliness too over Holidays, lets not forget them either.
I’m a little sad but I am an optimist and look for the good in all people and things. I try not to compare my life with others or the majority.
In closing, my own message to all reading this would be a verse from the 1969 song sung by Cass Elliott – “make your own kind of Music, sing your own special song, make your own kind of music even if nobody else sings along”
Here is the youtube link to lift you up !
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEQxEJ5_5zA
Merry Christmas to all, and remember to love yourself !
So many families still not accepting us gays — and it’s almost the year 2015! Incredible and sad. My mother is invited to my brother and his family’s house for holidays, but not me. However, my brother and two nephews are homophobic, racist, and sexist — so it’s the last place I would want to be. I will talk to friends on
I too was shunned from most of my family when I came out. I have many friends who shared their homes with me creating our own family. My parents & I made Peace in the years before they died. Unfortunately Christmas was never the same. My husband (21 years together) do share the holidays with our siblings. Wishing all y’all Peace, Health & Happiness this Christmas & throughout the New Year! Steve & George
I am alone, but not lonely. I will take a walk to get some exercise in the woods, read a good book, and plan a trip to somewhere warm as I live in the frozen North. When I get to Phoenix or Costa Rica, I will enjoy the warmth and celebrate my holiday then. Holidays are all in one’s mind and how one makes of them.
I too am alone on Christmas but have learned one thing…you are alone by choice…invite friends over not just on a holiday but anytime…make a hamburger etc and enjoy the company of others…smile, maybe cry a bit but reach out..
I am not going to be alone today…have invited a friend for dinner very impromptu….she is a widow and would have spent today alone but we will be together..no tear just a warm fuzzy Christmas dinner…
Happy New Year to all…
After being with an abusive family most of my life, I made the decision to cut ties. I wasn’t easy but I didn’t have a choice. I know its made it difficult for me to make close friends as dealing with my family has hardened me. The holidays are tough with images of ‘happy’ families everywhere, making me feel like a failure. Do I want to be alone on Xmas? No. But I’ll survive because I’ll always do. And I’ll celebrate Xmas by fcking as many guys I can today. That will put me in the holiday spirit. #truvadawhore
its a shame that so many people have family but are not welcome for some reason or another, both my parents have passed but they never left me out..thats what i miss during the holidays, MERRY XMAS
Great sentiment. Thank you Dave. I will go to a movie with a friend tonight and have just relaxed today. Love to all and I am sad for those who’s family has not been open minded.
my husband left me and i am all alone, very sad this was going to be our first xmas. i was so excited. how sad i am..
I alone everyday, so being alone on Christmas don’t really make a difference fr. It’s all in how you deal wit your surroundings fr.For the ones who can’t go home because your family don’t accept you, keep your head up, it’s get better.
I am alone also, but unlike many of you I am lonely. I recently lost both parents (no siblings), ended a 22yr relationship and have been unemployed for 8 mos. All my friends are with their family’s and I was not invited to one single gathering. This is my 1st Christmas with no one. It is extremely difficult and I have no idea how to handle my feelings right now.
I just hope and pray that it gets better real soon.
So many people out there — in homeless shelters, hospital wards, prisons — need others now. I make foodstuffs and buy groceries for our local homeless youth shelter. The homeless teens and staff are appreciative and also, to boot, get to see a gay person they can look up to.
This Christmas is really hard for me. Not just because I am alone this year. In 2000, I came out to my father, like most fathers of his generation, there was resentment, hatred, a lot of yelling, things said out of anger and finally banishment. September 11, 2014, he past away. I regret that we could not come to any reconciliation but I didn’t find out from my siblings that he had past away but had to find out from some close family friends two days before the funeral. I have never been close with my sibling but they didn’t even know what my father and I argued about. In there thoughts, it must have been my fault though and that was enough for them. To this day, I have never came out to another friend or family member. I couldn’t live with the rejection again that I received from father and family.
The funny thing is I’m a very positive man, but since X-mas season stared, it reversed. I moved to Vegas in May, & thinking I would know a few guys by this time, I wouldn’t be lonely, but I haven’t met any who I can actually spend time with. Just those couple guys for quick action & others I never met, but just spoke to over the phone, & never here from again. I don’t have the gay issues w/the family, but there are serious disputes which prevents me from going home to visit. This is my 1st X-mas alone & as will be my New Year’s. The only thing I can do right now is by watching movies unrelated, so I don’t get depressed again.
Thoughtful…Thanks
My family is just plain boring. The don’t go to the movies, watch television, go to the theatre, etc. They just talk about, “Mildred’s daughter is dating a new guy, and this one this and that one that”. The conversation is dull. If ever alone, I make the best of it. Make I nice meal or order in. Watch some old sitcoms that are pure pleasure. See an afternoon movie. Plan you’re own lithe get together with friends a day or two after Christmas. It will get you busy in preparing a nice time for yourself and friends. Play holiday music, if you like it. I tape Ellen each day. This time of year she does the 12 days of Christmas. I save a few episodes and watch them on Christmas and a few days afterwards. The holidays can be lonely, do the best you can and do the things that bring you pleasure in your life. Just some suggestions, hope it helps.
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!
Mom passed away when I was 18, My father and I have never been close. Was raised more like his employee on the farms instead of his only son. The family used to have HUGE get togethers for Christmas, but all the major people have long since passed away and now I consider myself lucky to get a card for any holiday. We’ve not spoken in at least 15 years. We have nothing to say to one another. I have been alone since my partner of many years suddenly died in 2007. I got rid of the xmas tree and all the trimmings. His kids that we raised are like my own, but they live out of state and have lives of their own and children now. We do stay in touch and I am called Granpa by all 3 of the little ones. Just me and the 2 dogs rattle around here all Christmas day hoping that it passes soon. To me it’s just another day, a very long,lonely and empty day. Many memories of what once was when Bill was alive come flooding back and its can be a seriously “blue” day. I hear the laughter and recall the enjoyment. I wrap myself in those memories and those of when I was home with the whole family and grandparents back on the farms in Pa. and wait for the 25th to pass for another year. Health issues make things tough and they get tougher all the time. I used to find myself being envious of those that had the parties to go to and all the family they were involved in. I had to get away from those feelings purely out of self preservation and necessity. I don’t do the chuch thing. I gave up on that years ago. Could never quite figure out whya so called merciful God would take the dearest people in my lifefrom me so fast. When I sat in the ICU alone with Bill holding his hand and decided to stop the machines and felt half my life leave with his last breath, where was this merciful and compassionate God at? My health started to decline with asthma going to COPD and was diagnosed almost 4 years ago as HIV poz due to my stupid mistake with a carrier who did not care that he was poz and never told. I find it apalling how ignorant many gay men are today,the closed social groups, the cliques as they openly shun other gay men that are poz, so they actually help the loneliness get deeper. Oh yeah, this is a truly special time of year but not for us all unfortunately. I can honestly do without it all
I kinda like being alone on Chistmas, better than excepting those “once a year” invites to friends and co-workers who only ask you over out of pity.
It’s a tough time of year for not just LGBT folks, but for a lot of people. I am a 49/yo GWM and I am alone for Christmas. Both of my parents, all 4 grandparents and 15 out of 17 aunts and uncles have all passed away. I only have 1 sibling and she lives more than 10hrs away. I’ve never had a boyfriend or been in love, so for the last several years, I have spent the holidays alone. I’m used to it now, but it was hard at first.
Rob I read your post and it brought me to tears,i’ve been in 1 LTR for only a year it ended in may 2014 and since then things have seem to gotten worse and Christmas makes it all the more so.that time with him was the happiest of my life.the thing is he left one morning and never spoke to me again all my efforts to find out what or when things went south have been for naught. So to this day I have no clue.the love I had and lost seems so deep and dark now having a surgery in the morn a neighbor is dropping me off at the hosp my nephew is picking me up after and staying with brother for a few days, but will still feel alone without him to hold and hug and share the things we did together.It just is not the happiest times I’ve ever felt,since being self outed in sept by my own stupidity my str8 friends no longer invite me to anything anymore.i now understand the meaning of loneliness.Dean
I don’t understand how you can feel so alone when you have people around you. Sometimes you meet people who you think are really a good friend to you. Then you find out that all they want to do is USE you. I thought that I had some really good friends and I have learned that in reality, they just don’t exist. People are out for what they can get off of you. Then when they get what they want you are useless to them. Until they want something else and if you don’t help with what they want your the worst person in the world. Watch out for people who call themselves your friend…
Mitch
Christmas! Really, it’s one frik in day? I’m alone pretty much always, I’m poz you see, and most Gay men, have Stigma around that; many lie through their teeth about status, err, say I don’t know my status???? Cowards, liars I’m Pretty choose y as to walks through my door, Please Fucking Christmas! There so much Bullshit out there, sometimes alone is better, Maybe I’m jaded, some dicks will say I am, but they’re probably scratching a rash, Reel it in boys, or least consider getting tested regularly. The Fucking day is over now, so open yer presents. it;s boxing day, so wear em,
My birthday’s 5 days before Christmas. Every year it become more useless to celebrate because people has to work or family drama. I don’t have friends or fuck buddies because people are worrying What everyone else would think that they would be involved with a person that was born with a physical disability. That is why I’m single and alone.
Sad to see and read so many who are alone
It’s a sad time if alone
My fond loving regards to all who shared here ,
It is a special season that I love a great deal if a guy comes along in my life to share it all the better
Reply to me and I can share my email or what’s app even my Skype
Fun is the name of the game and I will love you to view me naked and mastubating this would be your perk me up gift
I get very ambivalent around the holidays. Home is 7 hours away from where I am now and it seems a long way to go, but then I’m blue and horny and not in the best of spirits for Christmas. The ideas to volunteer are good–my ambivalence keeps me from doing more. But then I think of the years to come when I would go 10,000 miles to have someone to be home with. Ambivalence turns to inertia and guh. My heart (not pity) goes out to all who struggle with the holidays.
I guess I’m truely blessed when it comes to Christmas, and the Holidays. I am from a big family, I’m the 10th of 11, and while not everyone in the family except me for who I am, on the most part the majority do. My 89 year old young Mother lives with me, and we spend Thanksgiving with others in the Family, but Christmas we spend here at home. We have something that we can eat on through out the day, and family members can, and do drop by or call if they want. I have 36 nieces/nephews, 58 great-neices/nephews, and can’t begin to count the great-great! I’m fairly close to most of my family, but there are some that have shut me out. My younger brother, who was 7 years old when our father died, and I helped raise, will hang up on me if he calls Mom, and I answer, but that’s on him. I am in end stage liver failure, and was really sick this year, so didn’t enjoy Christmas as much as usual, and unless I get a transplant I won’t have many more Christmas’ to enjoy. Yet I still consider myself lucky that I have a loving family that I can spend holidays with.
some of us are alone and working on christmas…maybe becoming a Pagan is the way to go
This is by no means a gay issue. Not even close. People of all persuasions deal with loneliness for any number of reasons, at the holidays and other times. This one specific circumstance is a drop in the bucket.
And for a family to outcast their own because he’s gay demonstrates they didn’t love him in the first place. Lots of families don’t love each other. That’s a much bigger problem than any gay issue.
Sentimental yes. It is important to remember, being alone and being lonely are not mutually inclusive.
LGBTQ are not the only ones where there are the lonely and/or cannot travel. The holiday season only exacerbates what is already there.
On the other end, I see folks that are stressing and scurrying around, acting like Grinches trying pull things together just so they can have a Merry Christmas.
Every day is a blessing and a holiday.
Relationships are not genetic, they are based on experience.
There is a price for change. We pay it everyday so others will NEVER need to do so. To all, your courage is appreciated and applauded. Wishing you the joy in your hearts to share with others.
Peace…Love…and hell throw your head back and laugh aloud!
Joe
Xmas is just another day on the calendar….why should it matter whether you go to your “family” on that day or not?