News : Gay Man Died After Being Beaten
(This post was written by one of our members, if you wish to submit a text too, send it to us blog at adam4adam.com)
Some of you may have heard about the guy in North Carolina that was beaten and set on fire in a hotel last Saturday night after leaving a club with a guy. The Advocate and the Q Notes has been posting about it. His name was Stephen White and I remember seeing him at the clubs through out the years. I never met him or knew him personally.
I was shocked to learn of the attack on Tuesday when my partner texted me about it. I had heard about the fire at the hotel on the news over the weekend but never put two and two together.
Two days ago it was announced that he died as a result of his injuries. I am so sad for his family and friends and so sad for our community. It’s so sad to think that a gay man could have caused such harm to another gay man. It almost seems like a scene from the movies.
This tragedy has made me realize how lucky I have been with all the hookups I’ve made in the past. I hope this has made a lot of people in my area rethink things and be more careful. There were many times that I could have been a victim of an attack, mugged, raped or worse.
Next time you go out to the club, answer that message from a social site of a guy wanting to meet, make sure you know exactly who you’re meeting and let someone know where you are going. We always think that stuff like this can’t happen to us and I’m sure Stephen thought the same thing but the sad reality is that it can happen to anyone. Take care out there.
You can also read A4A safety tips here!
Jason
I always print out the profile of the person I’m going to meet, and I write down where we are meeting. If we move from that place, I text my best friend. I prefer to host, since I feel more in control at home. Also, I think a sketchy dude might think twice if he knows that people are aware of where I am, and that his profile etc are sitting on my printer at home. I like to chat with a guy for a while (days/weeks) before i agree to meet. Basically, I back off if he seems like a potential problem — someone I wouldn’t give my home address to.
How do you know the perpetrator was also gay? Im just curious. That particular was not included in the story.
It’s sad that this kind of thing is still an issue. We have to keep our guard up I. So many ways, it makes you not want to take risks anymore. I can’t tell you the many times where I wished I hadn’t giving out information, but the good news is it didn’t turn into a huge regret. My heart goes out to this Soldier who made it home from battle only to be killed by a homophobic do septic terrorist. Let’s hope he is caught and punished to the hilt.
55 years old cannot believe this human race still act like this!!! My best wishes to his friends and family
it’s so true, how do we know that the other guy is gay? That happen to a friend of mine back in the late 60’s, he went with the guy who he met in the bar and there were 5 guys waiting for him and beat the crap out of him and stole all his money and jewelry. go figure. Its the chance we take in life.
Condolences on losing a friend to a fiend…but I have not read or heard conclusivly the perp is gay……but regardless,
he is a HATER.
Lost a friend in the 80’s..a terrific young Dutch model. He was burned in a firepit on property of a sleazoid gallery
owner on E 57th..The victim was Eigl Vesti, remember it was
over 2 decades. Eigl was murdered in all black leather, including full head mask. I will not add the perp’s name-did
some time for criminal activity with his art gallery…but they could not with forensics of the era find evidence that would stick….amazing since was on his remote property , The firepit was a circular small rounded with stones clearing, and were lots of ashes, but again the Creep Walked. Eigl was in his early 20’s. Google……
Xlepiphanylx — I wondered about that too, but I figured I just skimmed too quickly and missed that detail.
i always talk about my nice neighbor(ex cop)he is a nice married person,has given me permission to use this tactic.
It is so sad things like that happen…it happened to me too…i come from an eastern european country where being gay is not very easy. I moved to spain for work and i thought things are way better here but i was wrong. In a country that is so liberal i know some gay people that are having trouble with their families because of their sexuality…young people that are let down by their own family. A few months ago a young gay couple was beaten up in front of a club by other guys just for holding hands. It is too bad that no one is standing up for US…and in this century being gay is still a problem to others
I have always stated and firmly believe that gay men should learn how to fight. Be it boxing, combat sambo, krav maga or simple self defence every gay man should learn to fight.
We need to learn from stonewallers..one thing i must say is people need to stop acting like all gay men are fags…[feminine acting guys] and all gay women are butch…I know a few men and women that are gay but they went with societal programs then realized..hey im gay…
What I need here and NOW is for the masculine and feminine gays to just…come out…you footballers, mixed martial artists, lawyers,police, firemen and women…just come out already and show everyone that we’ve BEEN here…they just need to get over it
@Xlepiphanylx
Steve White was a veteran. Here is an excerpt from Stars and Strips about the perpetrator:
“Robert Porter, a bartender at Chemistry, said Gupton [perpetrator] told him he’d been experimenting with men since he was 19 [now 26], and it had taken about a month and a half to work up the courage to enter the bar.
White and Gupton left together in a cab around closing time, bartender Jim Olive said.
“I walked them towards the door and I asked Garry [Gupton], I said, `So, are you going to hang with my friend Steve tonight?'” Olive said. “And he said, `Yes.’ And I said, `Well, I like Steve a lot. Be nice to him.’
Wow i thought this only happen in jamaica
To think we are living in the 21st century and not the dark ages
Terribly tragic outcome… Hope Gupton gets the death penalty!
I always do what Mannois does – if I go to meet someone (and usually after chatting for days – yeah the 100 e-mails!), I print their profile and where I am going and leave it on my pc. If I feel uncomfortable at all, I tell the guy that and leave – there are some creepy guys out there, but the good far outweigh the bad,…but safety first, or at least evidence of who I am meeting.
u know I came out late in live and when I read about that collage guy in Wyoming a few year back it really made me sick. I heard something about this and I really feel sad I am sorry we live with horror esp in our colture my prayers are with u his family and friends very sorry for the sick people out there god be with u
On the 3rd day, he came back for more of my cock, after 2 consecutive days of fucking, then suddenly, I was tasered from behind, til there were 2 skin lacerations on my neck, bleeding all over…then hog-tied in my bed while he ransacked my whole house, stealing most everything, incl. phones, computers. MY Pistol at my head, he said: “you are one click away, so tell me where everything is located, or will start more tasering. I was bound to the bed, and left for dead, but finally able to escape , calling the police….showing them his profile, etc. HOWEVER, the a4a hdqtrs in French-speaking Canada would never cooperate…he was 100% protected. So, so….you will need much more info than his profile, as his real identity will be protected by the a4a corporate office.
Maybe that was God’s way of saying that person should NOT be living that way!
Is this a hate crime or two gay guys fighting?
so sorry; for his friends & family, My BF has been beaten up a few times because he gets drunk. he no longer goes to Clubs, His stroke in January has really changed our lives, some for the better. We are closer,& I really don’t worry about other men taking him away from me.
keeb.
There but for the grace … I use the apps and host alot . If im getting some action is usually in these sites ,like this one . I live in a nyc washington heights and the population is mostly latino and black ,where as I identify as white . Im sure that hooks seem scarier to me based on seeing the color of the face . I love all men ,but a home boy or gansta may be hot in porn but Im not having this guy over at 1am. But then serial killers like Jeffery Dolmer were cute white men . I risk to easily ,I need to trust less and play it safer , thanks for the reminder . I m sorry to be so honest about the race thing.
Luckily I haven’t experienced anything close to this. But I did get mugged once, in public. I was in Hilcrest (big gay area of San Diego) and was just walking around. As I crossed the street these 3 guys approached me. One of them said they were from out of town and wanted to know what there was to do, and he made a point of saying they were gay. So being the nice guy I am, I showed them around a bit, telling them where different bars and clubs were. The one that did all the talking asked me several times if I wanted to go back to his hotel with him. He was attractive, but I just had a bad feeling. So I said I wasn’t interested, but I would show them around. As we were walking we came up to a dark side street, they pushed me down the dark street, slammed me up against a wall and was yelling for me to give them my money. Luckily I didn’t have anything on me. The one guy punched me in the face and they left. I walked up to the nearest bar. The bartender called the cops for me and gave me a drink for free. I told the cops what happened. They eventually found all 3 of the guys. Turns out they mugged 6 other people, all of whom were gay. They got charged for the muggings and hate crimes since we were all gay. I still get nervous walking around on my own at night. I mean I was lucky nothing worse happened, but I was abused by my step-dad growing up and it just brought up all those feelings.
I agree that everyone should at least know basic self defense. If I had I might have been able to fight them off. But I’m just glad I wasn’t seriously hurt and they managed to catch the guys.
In response to James Austin Roe:
You claim you knew the victim and the “creep walked”? Well, I did google it like you asked and found this article! One person is in jail for this murder and during a parole hearing he even admitted it!
http://www.lohud.com/story/news/crime/2014/04/22/crime-scene-stony-point-sm-murderer-denied-parole/8003269/
This is so sad; that someone who served his country and survives, yet dies this way. Its really a shame. He was a very handsome man as well.
We need a right justic for this case
We need the right justice of this case for human to human right watch
I always let somebody know if I’m meeting a guy. I’m 57, and never had a problem. Just be careful my brothers, we need to watch out for eachither!
Stories like this pisses me off. There have got to be more to life than these random encounters that we do. We are not invincible people! How many more of these cruelties we need to wake us up? I have heard of guys traveling miles and sometimes thousands just to have “fun” with complete strangers. It is not worth it at all. Everyone deserves to be seen as your enemies nowadays. I dnt care if they re gay/ str8 etc, if you are not able to defeat or at least ready in general for any battle, Why step into the dark lit arena. I feel bad for this guy. But we need to make some changes and what better time than now. Stop the careless Hookups! it’s not worth dying for
It sickens me to read or to hear of such senseless acts against gays let alone anyone. I have been single for little over 3 years now and when I hear of things like this it pushes me back further from dating or meeting up with someone. It does scare the life out of you. You just never know who you may run into or what may happen behind closed doors.
This bought back memories of a great friend who was brutally murdered in Ft. Myers FL by two men. Rick was a kind man who never met a stranger and would do anything for you if he could. He was working in a convenience store and met the guys there. Being Rick, he invited them over for beer at his place. He was stabbed and slashed so many times, his head was almost severed. I still can not understand why. I know from this I am more then careful but sometimes that is not enough.
HELL…whats wrong with the world …life is short…live it the best way you can..everyone is different…so what..we all eat and drink the same way!!!!
I agree with the comments that say that gay men need to be careful and protect themselves. I also write down the name of the person I’m meeting and leave their address and picture at home so if something does happen to me, the person that was responsible will be held accountable.
North Carolina is one of few states that does not have a hate crime law. That is what we get for living in the Bible belt. I know I have meet some guys at a bar before and but I always keep on edge if I go off with them. I have even meet guys around town when I live in Winston-Salem. There was a block were guys went a drove around and I have meet my share of men there too.
One time I meet a guy and he had me to ride him around town and then take me to a place in the worst part of town and told me to give me everything I had. I told him I didn’t have any money and he said that if I lied he would kill me. He told me to wait for him at the place were he took me and got out of my car . I took off like a bate out of hell and never looked back. I t was 5 in the morning when I got home. By THE WAY I AM ALSO Married! So all men you meet at a gay bar may or may not be gay. Straight men that are up to no good just go there to do what is guy went there for . They think that all gay men are sissy’s and can’t fight. So the guy that got killed didn’t know if the guy was gay or not.
I hope he gets the death sentence!
sad story.
I’m sorry to get political here but the hate against many individuals and groups has been reincarnated by the Republican Tea Party, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin, and many others. This has stirred up feelings that may have been in remission for many people.
To: Dof007
November 19, 2014 at 13:06
I’m sorry to get political here …
And as wall all know, ALL Progressive Liberal Left-leaning Democrats absolutely LOVE all the gays on the planet.
Wake up, there are MANY Right-leaning Republicans who do not hate gays.
Or go ahead and keep beating the Party line, the line that keeps this country polarized.
So sad. Ughhh getting set on fire!? That’s my worst fear. Being burned alive! Gays need to start taking self defense classes! Getting in shape! For their health! Peace of mind! And staying alive! I’m I guess u could say a muscular guy, 5’11”, 213lbs so I look more intimidating . I’ve never been messed with but if there was a group takedown id be in the same boat. But I do think people stay away from picking on larger guys . Always get a recent face pic and cell number of person u r meeting . Text them to a friend with location u r meeting. I have a gun in my home but I took riflery as a youngster and have very good aim. Was national champion one year in my age group. I still shoot at the gun ranges here . If u Learn how to use it properly can give u a sense of security just don’t tell anyone where it is obviously . And I woukd never let anyone tie me up .. For any reason.. Freaks me out
Ummmmm. I just googled “Stephen white + burning” stephen white is not dead! He did have to have his arm and I think a leg amputated. But he is still alive!! So … Ummmm .. Not sure why it says he’s dead! Need to get facts straight people