Health : Anal Sex
Anal sex is not just for gay men and not all gay men do it in the butt, but most gay men will have butt sex sometime in their life.
Anal sex is not just about pleasing the top, your anus and rectum have tons of nerve endings and pleasure from anal sex can come from simple penetration and/or the stimulation of the prostate gland.
Taking care of your butt is an important part of taking control of your overall health but it is not always easy to talk about with your doctor about your ass. As gay men we need a doctor we can talk to about anything especially your sex life and your ass. Your doctor need to understand the health concerns that are unique to gay men. If you do not have a doctor that you can be honest with the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association can help. Now back to your butt…
Anal hygiene is important but you should not use enemas (douche) as flooding your rectum with water can dehydrate your colon, making you more likely to get an infection. To be as safe and clean as possible, you should first, wipe your ass with a moist cloth to clean the outside, avoid eating a few hours before anal sex to help ensure your bowels are empty, and then before bottoming, fill an ear syringe with warm water and gently squeeze the water into your rectum, learning out any feces that may be lingering.One of the most important factors in caring for your anus and enjoying butt sex is getting to know your body. Before bottoming you should really know your ass well. Spend time exploring the sensitivity of your sphincter muscle (the muscle that controls the opening and closing of your anus) and how it reacts to being penetrated, when and how it relaxes and when it tenses up. Playing with your sphincter muscle can be fun alone or with a partner. This form of butt play can be something you can both enjoy prior to anal penetration (rimming can be a great way to start). Once you know your ass well, anal sex will be smoother and more pleasurable for both you and your partner.
It is important to communicate and to stop if you feel uncomfortable, experience pain or have any bleeding. Try different positions, a position where your knees are bent and drawn to your chest (on your back, chest, doggy style, etc.) will straighten out the anal canal and make penetration easier.
RELAX, breathe deep, take your time, and make sure you are comfortable physically and emotionally, as hot as it may seem to get pounded, remember, fantasy and reality can often be vastly different.
The more you care for and know your butt, the better your anal sex will be.
Dave
I like a nice hot load in my rectum,as I prefer bareback!!
All good advice. My last experience with anal sex was with a guy who loved ass play as foreplay, so by the time he was ready to top, I was more than ready to bottom. There was no pain at all, very little discomfort, and a great deal of pleasure for both of us. Thanks.
Just rinse with warm water and a tablespoon of oil, coconut or sesame or anything to hydrate and lubricate the inside. It also makes for easier entry and better thrusting. Use polyurethane condoms if you do it this way.
Try and see for youself and the top.
As a newbie bottom, these are great tips. Thanks
* An ear syringe? Seriously?! Not practical or thorough.
* Wait a few hours before anal sex? Not realistic.
My method:
1) Irrigate colon using a shower douche until all is clear.
2) After irrigating the colon, Insert dildo with water based lubricant to simulate anal sex to make sure colon is clean.(Kind of like a q-tip for your ear) This also warms up the sphincter for easier penetration.
3) Wait 10-15 minutes and test with dildo again to make sure colon is clean.
Thank you Dave for the helpful info!
I like the topic and it is def very helpful. I’m a top but very very curious about trying to bottom. Lately I’ve enjoyed my finger in the shower. Any suggestions on how to loosen up and prepare for the 1st time? Lots or rimming or lube, both? Suggestions plz? Thanks
Well put!! I agree whole heartedly.
I dont always have the luxury of anticipating sex to not eat a few hours before. I do use warm water and wash my rectum well. Maybe it does dehydrate the tissue but i use alot of lube so it doesnt seem like thats been an issue.
Too funny!.. The ear syringe thing isn’t enough to properly clean out a butthole. There is plenty of info online on how to properly clean before getting fucked. ( diet is a big part of that)However the last thing the gay world needs is instruction to create even more bottoms !.. Lol what is needed is proper instruction on how to be a TOP!!!.. There are so few tops and even less experienced tops out there!!!! How about a blog on how to properly TOP an eager TRUE Bottom!!!..maybe you can create a flood of new talented Tops!!! Lol
I’m totally into being penetrated. A good prostate massager helped me get into it. Felt amazing to ooze cum without a Hardon all because my prostate was being tickled. Since then I’ve really wanted to be a power bottom. Then I felt a hemroid hanging and have had insecurities about putting my butt out there. Maybe there are guys who don’t mind pushing the roid back up into me? Kinda sounds gross but it’s true.
Shit Happens!! Thank you for posting this article. I’ve been telling bottom dudes I encounter to refrain from using enemas. Back in the day (early 90’s) I can’t recall guys engaging in the process. To me, there’s no other boner breaker than the idea of a man doing it! Accidentally walking in on someone in the act of “cleaning themselves out” is reason enough for me to bounce, cause now I can’t get that image out my head. Watching someone vomit is not a turn on either, and douching is kind of the same thing just out the other end. Not sexy! I mean I get that this is the age of fast food hook ups, but I’d rather have you digest your food properly, thanks! If the vibe is right we can fuck later that evening or morning! If the vibe is real good..Hell, then shit all over me. Lol kidding you dirty fag! 🙂
Dave… thank you so much for putting this up, I’m a bottom myself and I do take my anal hygiene very seriously. Everything I know about cleanliness is sadly based off of common sense, and when it comes to medical stuff common sense is not always the answer.
Most important, don’t be AT ALL afraid to tell the guy fucking you to stop for any reason. Being the bottom requires total comfort, including emotionally. Don’t be pushed into anything you aren’t’ comfortable with, especially if it’s your first time. You don’t want a guy being too rough and doing damage.
Ahem. . . There are TWO anal sphincters…one outer…the other more inward. Both are part of the body’s involuntarily controlled musculature/features which means they operate kinda automatically without requiring a conscious thought or intention. As with any muscle tissue in the body, it’s designed to be able to relax, dilate, stretch, and lengthen which, of course becomes required when your partner’s erection penetrates you. Steady, gentle pressure is the most effective procedure to “fatigue” any musculature which allows it to stretch and lengthen. Anything that produces anxiety or stress about the situation–the location, your intuitive sense of the other guy, privacy issues, amount of time involved, etc., can make involuntary muscles (remember the anal sphincters?) reluctant to “let go” and open up. Doing some personal “homework” with fingers, a dildo, a butt plug, or even a small zucchini (plenty of lube, of course) can help your body begin to know what it feels like to be entered–how to relax, open up. dilate, etc.
I’ve found that for my butt, 6″ is all I can take. I usually prefer 5 to 5.5 but it is hard to find guys with penises that size. I’ve had a few occasions where the penis just feels so incredibly natural inside of me. Almost like it belongs in there The stimulation was incredible, there was no pain and it was the perfect amount of prostate stimulation. I am working on getting to a point where I can orgasm without masturbating while receiving a penis inside of me. An orgasm simply from penile stimulation sounds like extasy.
That was a very nice article
Good info Dave. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Luca’s comment. As a total bottom guy, I’m always being bumped out of the running because there “aren’t any tops” around. We need some more GOOD tops!!
great advice, you should do a post about men and hpv! just a suggestion
Bravo! Great Article. Informative and Educational. 🙂
Great article. As a virgin bottom, these are great tips.
Ongoing plain-water enemas are not good for the rectum.
I’m not a compensated spokesman, but I find the streemaster mini to be a great solution. Squeaky clean In 5-7 minutes.Two different nozzle sizes, removable bulb and a drawstring carry bag where you can also keep soap, wetwipes and lube. And condoms, if you use them.
This “advice” article is a bunch of BS. If you are a true bottom, using an ear syringe will not get you ready for a cock. Using a shower shot is really the only way to get ready for a cock. Who writes these ridiculous articles?
Unfortunately I was brtually taken advantage of twice in the 80’s though I like pressure and anal stimulation I freeze when the gentleman has good intent…but so many have no patience or will tell you “get over it” and attempt to plow…then you lose bodily function and may shit on him…walking away hurt…in pain…disgusted and jsut another rotten experience. Are there any men out there that are more interested in equal pleasure instead of just shooting a load then saying oh…gotta go. Very emotionally draining. And with the queens these…they spread the negative word…sad !! I am good at sex…easy on the eyes, and have a great heart who wants a life partner…why do men not seemingly have hearts and understanding anymore. personally i consider myself to have been raped…with nowhere to go for help ans was told by friends get over it ..it won’t be the first of last..you will get used to it….REALLY ?? Hasn’t ever happened and never will. There need to be a change in the culture and bring humanity and love back into the bedroom. I can ejaculate by myself and be free of the crap…but I want a good man. Am I wrong ?
“…not douche (use enemas) to flood your rectum with water…” Are you SERIOUS? I know a whole bunch of FF bottoms AND tops, as well an fucking bottoms and tops, who will SURELY disagree on this one! “Dehydrate your colon”…you’re “dehydrating” it with WATER? I guess you must’ve missed Latin classes in undergrad, or missed out on the days of a good education…”hydra” = water? Get it yet? Sheesh….
I love bottoming but over the past few years I have had to stop because of bleeding and discharge coming out. t is so embarrassing when this happens. I have tried everything. I know how to douche and clean and everything (I have been doing this for years). Sometimes I will not even eat for the entire day and discharge will still come out. (I get checked for STD’s regularly). About a year ago the blood started. I developed hemorrhoids and skin tags. I bleed at every bowel movement so anal sex was out of the question. Every time I brought this up to DR’s they checked and just disregarded it saying it was skin tags—-Is it normal to bleed every time something goes in or out of you? Finally in April I had surgery to remove my internal hems & tags. It was very painful and slow recovery…guess what? it is now 5 month later and still bleeding!!!! Dr says its normal. I am at my wits end. Is this just GOD telling me to Stop? (i have had a VERY active sex life for a long time). Sorry to ramble on but maybe someone else has had this problem…I see my DR regularly and have gone to 4 different professionals. Everyone seems to think its no big deal. HELP!
Great tips and advice. I’ve always told guys stop with the enemas and douching. I have always hated the thought or talk of guys doing that. If i wanted a chick, I would be with 1. Nothing like some tight, moist,and warm ass. If you eat right, don’t eat 2-4 hours before, and soak in a bath with warm water,soap, and oil and scrub it good,then do 2-3 finger tests, or white towel tests you will be fine.
Thanks, 🙂
Iam married bicurious guy,loves sucking cock,but really wants to bottom.l tried to use my wife vibrator but l think l wrecked my ass,it hurts like hell,even my finger dont feel good,l just think iam missing out.
I love anal sex but it led me down a dark, dark, hole with anal cancer, something being faced by more and more gays. This is the stuff that killed Farah Fawcett; it’s serious, and anyone who engages in anal should be aware of it. If you or your top notice anything abnormal about your anus or rectum get to a Doc immediately. It could save your life.
ok I’m confused…ive been using enemas even before i became sexually active. and it works just fine for me. as a teenager i was using enemas to lose weight & keep my digestive system flowing as it should. so if im about have sex it’s not safe medically wise to use enemas??? please elaborate somebody. lol
Been there, done that, tried it, never gonna happen.
NOTHING like a good ol’fashioned ENEMA!!! Feels so fucking go-o-o-d going in….and coming out!
I remember one time when I met a beautiful young nineteen year old guy with 8″ and he was so gentle when he entered my tight anus and kept going in and out so deep that I almost fainted when he came inside me and made me have an orgasm without even touching myself:)
Never had anal. I once tried to explore and could barely get the tip of my finger inside and panicked so now I’m too scared to finger myself. Still on the fence about a dildo. Plus I don’t want to have my first experience with a toy. As a friend (a girl) put it, “Do you really want your first time to be with a dildo?!” There have been times I’ve wanted to do more with guys I’ve been with but I’m don’t plan on letting just anyone shove it up there.
Ear syringe….not enough…especially as one gets older. A shower douche attachment is the only way to throughly clean a dirty hole. When I was young I didn’t even think about cleaning….other than the outside areas. Never any problems with myself or my partner. As one get older the composition of your bowels changes making it more difficult to clean up and as a result takes more time and effort. Latin Hombre gives the clearest and most proper procedure for cleaning your rectum…especially the wait time and leaving some lube inside.
Thanks for the blog subject….much needed and vey timely. What REALLY needs to be addressed is the proliferation of BAREBACK sex vids….very irresponsible and endangering a whole new generation to the threat of AIDS. And honestly….you can’t tell whether it’s skin to skin contact or skin to condom contact
Umruji: I’ve had many guys tell me my penis (5.5″) felt great and hit all the right spots. Of course those where mature guys(and Im not talking about age) that would not be considered SIZE QUEENS…..another problem with Porn Vids ideas of how big a man should be.
I use a douche bulb untill it’s clear. Bareback anal sex is the most perfect thing there is.
the ear syringe is spot on, although sometimes I use summers eve for the fragrance if I know a guy is going to rim me. I learned early on that a couple of small rinses with the ear bulb is far better than too much water because that can cause embarrassment later at exactly the wrong time. I have only recently, within the last couple of years gotten comfortable with a guy going down thee, been mostly an oral top. Now, bottoming is by far the most enjoyable thing I do, thanks for the post!
I am a top never been bottom and never will.. like the saying goes exit only.. I dread the age where I have to get a prostate check still have a lot of years to think of a way out of doing that…before I put my cock anywhere inside a guys ass I put my finger in his ass while he’s sucking my cock. First time clean no smell maybe…..then I shove my finger in knuckle deep if I feel shit fuckng you and not going to happen, and I will tell a Boi his ass is dirty not fucking you..some of the responses I get are funny the most common one is sir but I showered.. lol… Boi that part of the body is the one that needs the most detailed attention to…now you have tops and masters that prefer their bois not to take that route of cleaning but to each is own… you want cock your ass gets detailed inspected if your clean I will open you up like a stadium. If your dirty expect to be offended…
The first time I ever got fucked was in Amsterdam by a South American with a 10-inch cock. I thought I was going to die! I wish someone would have prepared me with some practical advice like you did, Dave. There should be gay guy butt-fucking classes.
For those of you new bottoms who encounter huge cocks, here’s some advice: have the guy lie on his back and you — well-lubed up — sit on his cock slowly and ease down on it, as you can gradually take it, inch by steady inch. You — with your ass in control, rather than his massive cock — will find it a lot easier for your asshole to take.
Getting fucked if there is shit in there, that ended up being abrasive worst then the preflush out and thats how your insides get torn up in my experience. Me and partner HATE smelling shit, smelling like shit, getting shit into sheets, and if cleaned out first and prelubed, there is like no damage at all no pain later and after sex I go flush again right away so other person’s semen isnt just sitting in me for hours. To the other guy cant take more then 5.5 inches… you know buy a dildo with vibrator or a bullet… something about vibrating thing in there relaxes those muscles actually right away and dont get that pain anymore that is right about 7 inches inside… this bullet thing is designed to be inserted before your buddy’s dick goes in and it vibrates making you loosen up fast, but sometimes vibrates on your prostate and makes me cum with hands off dick and also helps your top cum faster as well so if you are new to it all, you dont get tore up as bad.
love bareback here. i have no pre cum so being safer by wearing a condom is not an issue. besides-the dick goes soft if i use a condom. dont know why more gay men do not bareback-they are missing out.
Nice article for a start, but I’m gonna cosign LatinHombre and add penetration is easier if you push out slightly as if you are having a bowel movement.
Anal sex is dangerous. It’s enjoyable but not all the time. My partner and I have been together a decade and we enjoy foreplay. Foreplay connects us better than anal. If you do anal,be very careful.
As many bottoms as there are in the world today, I am surprised anyone needs instruction on how to prepare for this. Soon tops will become extinct and we will need instruction on how to be one lol
I’m taking all this advice. I tried the ear thingies. It works..my problem is Pain. I just can’t take it once the head gets past the rim. I’m 32 my first and only successful fuck was when I was 18. He tried for an hour. I hhappen to lay on my side and then the dick went all the way in. It hit my prostate and I took control pushing him down flat and rode his dick til I bust the best nutt of my life. He thought that I had done it before because I rode the nutt out of him. I was in serious pain afterwards but that ass gasm was excellent.. I was never able to do it again. I’m pissed
My ass is incredibly tight. Help
“Just rinse with warm water and a tablespoon of oil, coconut or sesame or anything to hydrate and lubricate the inside.” i dont think thats good advise if your gonna use condoms. cause the oil will cause the condom to break! ive never given myself an enema and never will and ive never been messy down there either.
An ear syringe? Really?
I use an Anal Douche Bulb to clean myself out before going on the prowl. Usually about three rinses does the job.
As for as anal sex goes, I LOVE it! I love getting penetrated and having another guy inside me. Love the way it feels, love having my ass stretched, love having my prostate massaged by a hard cock as the top thrusts inside me.
I have been able to cum a few times by just getting ass fucked; no jacking was needed.
I love getting rimmed too. This makes me beg for your cock!
If I need help to “evacuate” I drink a cup of black coffee abt an hour b4 any fucking. As for eating, I eat white rice; brown rice has fiber, before any fucking; I have to have something in my stomach. However, everyone is different; one has to experiment to find what works for you. I like anal, nice and slow, usually.
lol, ear syringe,……i’d rather use a turkey baster,……much bigger, lol. 😉
Absolutely love anal sex. So intimate between men. But never use condoms anymore. The feeling of a raw dick is Lille no other and knowing his seed is in you is the most intimate feeling in the world.
The article should talk about different positions too. My favorite is missionary. Much easier to communicate, kiss, share poppers and especially looking at each other when climaxing
I just threw up a little.
My sphincter reacts too much when I start penetration. It keeps contracting and initiate a huge and uncrontalable to defecation movement. Even if nothing is coming out, it keeps pushing and squeezing. It becomes painful and wakes up hemorrhoids. The anus becomes swollen and the vein full of blood. Im not bleeding but it is painfull. It looks like my body tries to expel violently this foreign thing in my ass.
After a few mns my sphincter finally relax and I coukd theoricly start the penetration without pb, but the problems at this point are the hemorrhoids. They become very painful. I don’t know what to do. Over the counter medicine don’t do any thing. I don’t know if it’s apb with the sphincter or hemorrhoids.
Zemanta: You’re an idiot. An ear syringe to flush out? Maybe if you’re a Smurf. An enema is NOT going to dehydrate your colon; indeed, if you haven’t been keeping yourself hydrated, some of that water going in will be absorbed into the colon’s walls…hence HYDRATION.
No, you don’t want to try and fill your colon with an entire bag’s worth of water, but it WILL work if you do it over the course of an hour or so. Draw some in until you feel slight pressure, remove the nozzle, try and hold, then release. Wait a few minutes, do it again. Easy.
If you want to give yourself a heads-start with having your ass lubricated, use a lube launcher (look on Amazon) and you can put some inside.
By the way, guys — all you morons saying “oh, I wouldn’t wanna watch a guy cleaning himself out” — well DUH. If the guy is smart, he’s going to do it and be done BEFORE you show up. Idiots…..
very good article….
for me,actually,to prep…just in a tub of warm water for half an hour or so;i gently penetrate with mild soap and slowly,gently,clean the anus and colon…i also use a little Vaseline and “Elbow Grease” lube mixed with the soap to lube deeply…the warm water greatly relaxes the sphincter and the lube moistens…i start with one finger,then,when relaxed,use two….of course,no eating for about 8 hours previous;just high energy liquids…
works for me each time…
i also always go bareback;i prefer the feel of warm sperm from my regular partner…
OMG .. some of you fairies and your worries about getting a little shit on your precious dicks.
FFS you’re faggots and you like fucking men in the ass. Even if they’ve been decent enough and had advance warning to ‘prep ‘ themselves you’re still afraid of a little shit !
Listen up boys .. it’s an asshole . What did you expect down there , caviar and champagne ? ? Or maybe a bottle of snuggly fresh rainbow clean Downy ?
Also I have no clue where this ‘stop eating 2-4 hours before an encounter’ comes from .
If you’ve ever had a colonoscopy (and I’ve had 5) you know the total clean out preps start 48 hours before the procedure. That means you stop eating solid foods 2 days in advance.
JT – r u ok? i specifically said use a condom that will not be affected by oil! please do not write if you have nothing to say.
i cane to discover this method because felt too dehydrated after enema and sometimes my ass would be twich. so the oil mix is perfect for enema and sex and lubrication. just try it! also i love bb with my partner and he say i feel wetter and silk easier to fuck.
I agree with Rod. Dumb useless article. Do you really think porn start use ear syringes? Get real. That’s NOT going to do a thorough job and who the hell wants to smell shit while fucking(unless you’re into that). A good old fashioned hot water bottle enema has worked wonders for me for more than 30 years and there isn’t a darn thing wrong with my ass. Dehydration? How does on equate getting dehydrated by putting water up your ass. OY!!!!
Nice article. But why so many on here keep on bringing up unprotected sex??? Come on people! HIV will eventually kill you, even if you are meds. Use common sense! Education is the key. Don’t be stupid
Rob that is not good and you may need to get to a dermatogist ASAP. Where did you seek treatment?
What is the best position to hit the prostate? I try to aim for the belly button downstroke if doggy style.
for the top:
if you meddle in shit – put up with it or don’t go there! very simple.
I’ve never worried about using warm water. I douche a few times a week or more depending on how much action I get. I couldn’t imagine being anything but the slim sub bttm I am. Was broke in good a few times when I was 19 by a FWB who 9″BBC and that’s as deep as I go. Can take hard constant pounding for all night super clean. I hoping to get on Prep soon so I can start BB.
This is probably my favorite article ever posted. I’m new the the gay scene and want to try bottoming, but i didn’t want to dirty while doing it. I felt weird asking other gay guys about it because its a weird to talk about. Thank you for posting this, it was extremely helpful.
To all of the people who insist that water will in fact hydrate your colon: Youy have no understanding of the human anatomy.
The walls of your colon are lined with mucus. This is what allows you to pass bowel movements. Every time you douche yourself with an enema, you are stripping away some of that lining and flushing it out with the water. While the water does hydrate your colon very briefly, the tissue inside of your colon is extremely absorbent and will dry out within a matter of minutes. It takes your body much longer to regenerate the mucus lining, which means that when you engage in anal sex, you are much more prone to tears, which can lead to infection.
Be informed folks.
I understand the arguments people put forward about enema volume and dehydration, but they didn’t understand that the entire colon does have a thin, slightly viscous coating. It is a mucous membrane, after all. Our hands, accustomed to exposure, and provided with sebaceous secretions, can get dry and chapped from washing. Our lips can actually get dry from licking them too much, as it removes the layer of sebum on them. So it is true that flushing the colon heavily will strip the mucous and prevent water retention in the membrane. It isn’t the water that flows over it, but the water that is RETAINED that is the issue.
If the bottom wants to cleanse for sex, a good, relaxed bowel movement is first. Don’t strain. Use your body’s reflexes. If you flex your waist so your spine pressea your colon, the vagus nerve will start natural peristalsis to expel feces (which is why your dog humps his back to empty his bowels). If you raise your left arm and twist your shoulder forward, your latissimus dorsi muscle will put more pressure on the descending colon and help evacuate it. Notice, since no strained pushing is involved, your body isn’t resisting. (If you clinch and push, you’re actually compressing some of it, which would be held back but, smaller diameter, is likely to start down and surprise both of you later!) A wipe of the anus may relax you into a bit more evacuation, and after that, a mist-sqirt from the ear syringe or a well-cleaned nasal spray bottle of warm water will help encourage release of the little remainder. A warm shower, with a little finger testing, and you’re good. Mucous coating should replenish shortly.
For the guy who hurts getting entered, a lubed fingertip swirling just inside will start the loosening. A lubed penile tip, eased and withdrawn, relubed and slid further, will meet resistance. Go a little past, then let the bowel reflex push it back out. Wait a moment, for the rectum to realize it doesn’t have to keep pushing. It actually relaxes wider than it started. Lube and ease the penis in. Resistance and pain should not occur. If they do, repeat the withdrawal. Guaranteed it will end up deep inside and both guys happy. I have topped and bottomed and I know it works.
So i cleaned out with some water in my shower about 2 hours before i had sex, water went in stuff came out then did it again and seemed clean. I went out ate and then was all for it ready loving the four play and pleasing my partner. He was a big guy magnum and as he was fucking me it was great but at one point he pulls out, some water comes out and so does some dirty. I felt embarrassed as i have been with this top before and both other times I was fine and clean. He has even said that he loves my ass because its clean. To be honest i have fucked without cleaning out and had no issues before could i have cleaned and it backfired? Please let me know. I enjoy bottoming it feels great and love when the dude takes over. I doubt ill see that top again and feel embarrassed and want help
Stop worrying about it being DIRTY. It’s an ass. EAT FIBER AND DRINK WATER nothing should remain in your ass. If there is physical shit in your ass then you need to change your diet. I like ass when it is natural. It’s masculine. It’s spontaneous.