Gay Stuff : When Being Horny Clouds Your Judgment
I have to admit there are things that I would do or say before I cum that I probably wouldn’t afterwards.
For example, let’s say you are online and you come across Mr. Rightnow but you instantly feel this strong connection for him. You get to chatting and you both are on the same page, you make out you kiss and you think this is the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. You start to have sex, it’s amazing, you cum and then you can’t wait to get the hell out of there. What is that all about?
10 minutes earlier you were thinking this is guy is the one. Now you have to pretend you still feel this way as you are thanking god you didn’t have him come over to your place. You get dressed, leave and ignore all calls and messages.
Can the need for an orgasm be that strong that it clouds our judgment and makes us do things we probably wouldn’t do otherwise? Does our brain release a hormone that makes us feel this way? (if there is could we get big pharm on that) After we cum is there another hormone released to counteract the effects of the first one?
Whatever it is I have been there. How about you? Any crazy things you have done or said in the name of the orgasm that you regret later?
Thoughts? Comments?
g skorich
I have DEFINATELY been there. It is amazing the things we will do when our nuts are full!
This is a prime or primal part of what gives homosexuality a BAD name!
Oh I’ve been there…a lot. Being horney is basic human nature. It turns on, then turns off. The fact that we as a species can think and reason against established mores, values and norms puts us at odd with ourselves. I wanna have sex for the sake of having sex because an orgasm..or multiple orgasms feels good. I don’t want to think about it. It’s the same reason I go to the bathhouse buzzed…because I don’t wanna think about it. If I’m straight at the bathhouse then I will think of every reason not to have sex. Let it be what it is sometimes..a basic instinctual animalistic need.
Almost every hook up I’ve had.
I’m an orally bi top and tend to only wanna suck dick before I cum! I even want to have my face jizzed on or occasionally my mouth jizzed in, even though I don’t swallow and sometimes I can’t suck long enough to make him cum…I’m damn near a cum whore before I cum, but once I do…I don’t really wanna suck dick, and if I cum while topping I only continue outta consideration but I’m not into it like I am after I cum in a woman….Odd!
Had that to happen recently. We met out in the mall, struck up a good conversation one thing lead to another…. later we hook up for dinner and a movie, had a real nice evening the vibe was their. We was both was feeling each other and didn’t want the evening to end. So we decided to go back to my place open a bottle of wine and finished off the evening. So to make a long story short we end up have sex, mind you the sex was mind blowing until somewhere in the middle of it all he mentioned that he was married and what happen after that…i’ll just say that mind blowing sex that we where sharing turn into both of us getting dress.
I’ve done that SEVERAL times! Most recently I’ve been tempted to hookup with this guy whom I’ve hookedup with in the past. But I stopped dealing with him because he has terrible hygiene, a boyfriend, and a lying habit! However, before I squeeze one out, he’s EVERYTHING I want. Afterward though, he just seems repulsive and disgusting!
I think we all have had this experience. My feelings are, having sex is GREAT. I try to be open minded and try to please my partner. Some times it is better than other times. If both people are trying to have fun and enjoy each other. There is always a chance you will met again. Some times we just want to get off and if that is not understood from the get go. Then you just move on.
Wow this topic hits home.
Its probably my biggest problem when it come to hooking up. Ill get caught up in the moment, hormone fueled and ready to go, i start negotiating just to make sure it happens promising things and giving away pictures only to immediately regret it once im done. Ive forced myself to reign it back in but the trick is realizing that you’re thinking with the wrong head in the first place.
Just because horniness clouded your judgment beforehand doesn’t mean you need to be a passive-aggressive dick in the aftermath. I’ve definitely been there and tried both ignoring entirely and being upfront (“yo man, thanks for the play, not sure I’m down to do it again though”), and being honest is a lot easier.
Ive been there many times I just text myself and act like its something important then leave
I’ve had being horny cloud my judgment in other ways, usually with who I hook up with. In the past, when I was horned out of my mind, I would pick a guy whom I wouldn’t normally have sex with, usually a guy I wasn’t attracted to. Hormones can be like alcohol sometimes…make out do things (or people) you normally wouldn’t do under different circumstances. A few times though I wasn’t attracted to the guy the sex was really good…but many others it was bad to so so and right after I came I’d regret even being there, just wanted to get dressed and leave. Sometimes you are better off staying at home and jacking off to some good gay porn.
tis called not where your hart on your sleave boys that not thinking as the next guy you hook up as your next bf or husband for real stop thinking with your dick and think with your brains if works it works that if a guy is interested in you the hell call you back and or text you and yes you brains relse endorphins wich make you feel temporarly great but like said think first not your dicks case most guys do picece
I’ve actually had this feeling not only with a dude but just jacking off. I’ll get worked up and just NEED to release but not a second after I cut I feel like it wasn’t necessary or like I wasted time doing it.
This has happened to me a lot – in reverse. Less than five minutes into sex and my host is begging me to promise that I’ll be back. But when I drive away, all too often he’ll never agree to a time for me to climb into his bed. Fortunately, two months ago I had another one of those “first time” meetings where he’s begging me to promise I’ll cum back into his bed – and we’ve been doing it now as many as three times a week for the last couple of months (not a mean feat, considering I’m married). So, for once, both sets of hormones have remained in sync. Finally! Now let’s see how long it lasts 🙂
Yes, the brain DOES play a part: (and all this time you though you were thinking with your dick ;))
Oxytocin plays an important role in the neuroanatomy of intimacy, specifically in sexual reproduction, in particular during and after childbirth. It is released in large amounts after distension of the cervix and uterus during labor, facilitating birth, maternal bonding, and after, stimulation of the nipples, lactation. Both childbirth and milk ejection result from positive feedback mechanisms.
Sexual arousal: Oxytocin injected into the cerebrospinal fluid causes spontaneous erections in rats, reflecting actions in the hypothalamus and spinal cord. Centrally administrated oxytocin receptor antagonists can prevent noncontact erections, which is a measure of sexual arousal. Studies using oxytocin antagonists in female rats provide data that oxytocin increases lordosis behavior, indicating an increase in sexual receptivity.
So, we having a similar mammalian brain memes to rats, that could be weighed as “eye opening”.
I mean, look at the rats on here.
men are hunters..the question is do we hunt in reality. we have this guy we want and desire. and we are constantly comparing other to him. so we see a guy that all that and more. we hit it off conversation wise, make it to either ones bed..and here where it goes wrong..scripted sex, fantasy sex what ever but after the nut..you realize he not the one..and it become let me get him out or me out of here..then no responses..that typical, when we learn that the perfect guy for us will never be found cause no guy will ever measure up to the guy in out heads..so we let encounters that we great go cause of it…reality please
I was in Portland Maine at a hotel and this guy comes over 20 min before his train to Providence, RI. He comes in and said,”sorry I’m late, we’ll have to hurry.” Shit got crazy heated and we both knew he wasn’t going anywhere. He said,”I gotta get going or I’ll miss the train,” I have to work in the morning.” He wasn’t leaving until he got fucked. I said,”if you miss the train I’ll just drive you home.” WTF was I thinking? We missed the train by 20 min. He asks,”you got enough gas to get to providence or do we need to stop?” I just threw the car in drive. The heat of the passionate moment!! What’s cool, we see each other all the time his place or when he comes up here. The sex is amazing. It was def worth the drive.
if women were as ‘nut-driven’ as we men are, then heterosexuals would be given a bad name too.
it is biologically- and logistically-imperative that females continue to keep it in their pants/make it difficult for us to go humpin’ them nilly-willy.
we don’t need all the unwanted extra mouths to feed.
women don’t need to put that strain on their bodies, anyway.
(pregnancy can kill, you know.)
Well I met this guy on this site. He told me he wanted to meet up for drinks. I said ok there a bar not to far from the hotel he was at I would meet him there. We met up at the bar and he started drinking. He asked me if I wanted something to drink? I told him that I dont drink. He asked me to have a beer and I said ok. I had two beers and I was feeling light headed. I asked him if he waned to take me home and watch a movie and he said ok. Then after I rented a movie he asked to go to a liquor store and I said cool. He went in and he got some vodka and cranberry juice. Then he asked me if I wanted a drink and I said no. Then he asked me to try it and I ok. He asked me if I was a top or a bottom? I told him I was a top. He asked me if I would bottom and I said no. Next think I knew I was passed out. Next thing I knew my underwear was off and he was fucking me. I asked him to stop and he told me i wanted it. I asked him to slow down it was hurting to much. The more I said something the more he fucked me. He told me I was his bitch and he told me to take his dick. I beg him to stop fucking me. He stop fucking me after a half and hour. He busted his load on me got up and he left. He didnt say good by or nothing. I felt like a whore. Yes I did want it but I didnT want him to take it. A friend told me I was raped I told my friend I did want it. I learn alot never drink and never bring someone to your house.
Ditto on Shawn’s comment. I get that feeling too either after being with a guy or alone. Why is that? There have only been two guys that leave me wanting more, unfortunately, our schedules don’t permit frequent meetings, so it’s always hotter the next time we have sex.
This is definitely typical human behavior and happens to most, if not all, of us.
It’s all about the body and the mind with regards to the three stages of “love”: lust, attraction, and finally attachment. Lust is driven by testosterone and estrogen. When first meeting someone, lust definitely plays a role. While talking to them, we may move into the attraction phase, which is driven by dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin. The moment of sexual climax releases and relieves so many of these hormones that we may “come back to reality.” However, if enough psychological connection is established, and we are genuinely interested in pursuing more (because we actually are looking for something more than a hookup), then perhaps we’ll want to establish a connection with the person – and that leads to attachment.
It really quite scientific!
P.S. For all you geeks that really care, a quick Google search will give the nerdy details that take all of the fun out of it.
Reading a lot of these responses is somewhat humorous because it seems so many men make choices with their lil’ heads, and those responses bring guilt and self-reflection only in the aftermath. It takes a certain amount of maturity and security in yourself as a man to engage in a fully satisfied sexual relationship with another man, and hopping from one bed to the next simply to satisfy urges isn’t the best path for anyone to achieve anything other than instant gratification.
This article makes me happy. I’ve definitely noticed the chemically induced behaviors before and after orgasm. I think we are more slave to our hormones than we care to admit.
I have been there enough times myself. I now tend to test the waters when I recognize the direction I’m headed by jerking off before I start the ball rolling in the direction of hooking up. I would say 9 times out of 10 it keeps me from doing something I will surely regret at a later time. It’s been a reliable remedy. Not to mention most of the time i can do it better for myself then most of the guys who aren’t familiar with me preferences. Problem solved. Try it.
“you are online and you come across Mr. Rightnow”
This is the root of all kinds of problems. In this case, “cum and run syndrome”. Some guys hook up to cum. That’s all they wanted, they got it, time to bolt. They don’t know the guy. There’s no reason to stay.
But then later they go all drama queen that they really wanted more.
What is it about some men, not all, but many that are showcased here that they cannot establish and maintain ongoing relationships with other men?
All kinds of gay guys get together regularly. For sex. They actually have relationships founded on sex but their relationships go on because they’re willing to take the time to get to know each other before they hook up and after. They learn about jobs, pasts, family, friends. They get together whenever their schedules allow for “man time”. Their relationships go on for years. They often spend whole days, nights, and vacations together.
They’re not interested in “Mr. Rightnow”. They’re interested in “Mr. Again and Again”. Maybe they’re try a new “Mr. Rightnow” now and again to see if he can become a “Mr. Again and Again.” More is better, afterall.
The question remains … what is it about some guys that they cannot establish and maintain ongoing relationships with “Mr. Again and Again”?
Who sleeps with someone there not even attracted to for the simple fact there nuts need release? Not the business!
It is fine to sleep with someone because you both are horny,attracted and are aware that you mutually are in it for a hot sweaty intense time. Why can’t the majority of these grown men have the balls to not put on EXTRA so you have the other person believing your interested in hooking up again? Which is my definition of FAKE.
Its just guilt plain and simple
U want do it but afterwards u think i should not have
It happens even when jerking alone
Yes, we’ve all been there! Frankly, that’s the best thing about being gay. There are no emotions, just pure testosterone at work. My straight friends are always frustrated with their female dates as they have to buy them dinner, spend the day with them and fork out a bunch of cash and the girl still might say that she “isn’t ready yet”. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told how luckily I am to be gay!
just a typical man thinking with his dick instead of his brain
Some pretty rare ‘what ifs’ you come up with… ones like this rarely happen… to me anyway.
As the saying goes, never go to the grocery store when you are hungry,
Pretty much every time. But, I think a big reason why it happens is because I’m not comfortable having a romantic relationship. Ideally, I would like to settle down and blah blah blah, but realistically, I’m not that comfortable being gay. I’ve only had sex with guys. I’ve never dated or had a boyfriend, and for whatever reason, I’m just not comfortable enough to pursue that. I’ve been texting and talking with a new guy who really likes me, but yesterday he asked me over the phone if I want to have kids. Although I imagine I do, the reality is I’m not, and that mindset of imagination vs reality carries over to relationships.
Sometimes I scare myself. Normally I top but sometimes I get so horny I want to be manhandled and raped. :0
Another way your judgment can get clouded by having a “pencil full of lead” is that your tend to lower the bar on who/what you’ll have sex with and you end up making choices that aren’t necessarily good for your health.
Before I log on to Adam4adam, I always make sure to have a nice jackoff session first, so that I am in my right mindset and don’t do anything regretable.
I have this shit happen to me all the time and I don’t like it. If I am nice enough for you to fuck and suck your cock I am nice enough for you to be honest with and say “I just want a hook up or a one time thing”. I don’t like the games that a lot of guys play to get in my pants. I too just want sex for sex’s sake some times but I am always nice and I have no regrets. As many guys that I have been with I don’t expect for every guy to be the one. Just have some respect and not kiss or say things you don’t mean or make promises you can’t keep. The funny part is when you have sex with a guy you meet off Adam and he says it was great and then the first chance he get’s he blocks me. What is that shit about?
I have a fuck bud that I’ve had for a couple years now and we both say we love each other while we fuck and we barely talk otherwise. Something about that spanish accent makes me more passionate with him.
Far Out on that, I will do pretty much anything before and during, but once i cum, i feel “dirty”
Starmacs kinda hit it for me. I love the hunt and if a prey is gotten too quickly like a hook up then the challenge is over and I want the next hunt to begin…
Sounds like folks have guilt issues. From most of the comments I’ve read above, I’d say that it’s all psychological… Like the str8 guy who, after he cums from a sexual encounter w/ another guy, questions his identity or self-worth. If you go into sexy without regrets, you’ll walk away without regrets. It’s all in your head bub.
I think its more of the fantasy of what we really wish or hope for in that special person, unfortunately u put the cart before the horse and not develope a true and substantial relationship which requires more time and investing other than a person posting their best pic in the best lighting, the perfect wording in their profile, and all the things you fantasize about in that Mr. wonderful that you hope will cum riding in on that white or black horse. lol all that being said, enjoy the moment, pretend it’s real while in the moment, and be safe :)…
Yes this happens often. However, I have met a couple of guys that whenever I was feeling horny, I’d rather deal with just one of the two. Bein a strict top, I like to implement things that would satisfy my partner as well… Bi also believe that for a lot of guys like myself, not being out also plays a role. Horny and looking to release and sumtimes a hot sexy bottom can blow your mind better than a woman.
I have also had that feeling that once I’ve hooked up with someone, I would be ready to go as well. The distance I’ve driven just for an hour of fun and then driving home thinking, was it really worth it. With a couple guys, the answer is yes. But often it’s a no. Something a good jack off to hot gay porn could have cured.
It happens. I call it, I got other things I love to do (repair & sell cars) and other lovers I gotta do.
It’s kinda’ fhe same as when I’m either masturbating, or even getting down with a guy. Before I come i love the ide of taking a bot load in my mouth. When I’mjacking to porn I’ll sometimes even taste my pre-come and totally love it. When I’m sucking off another guy or even if I’m fucking him I think I want to come in his mouth and then swap my load with him and then on e I do. I just wanto lay back and relax. It looks so fucking hot in porn but when it becomes real. I bail.
Go figure.
that’s how males are. it doesn’t matter who you are, males want to bust that nut and hit the road (or turn over and go to sleep).
After decades of post-fuck hindsight, I find that when I’m at the corner of horny and stupid, the best thing to do is beat off and go to sleep.
Why would you have sex with someone you wouldn’t talk to afterward? We’ve all done it, but it’s rude. Rather than simply pretending that person doesn’t exist, it’s better to tell him ‘it was fun but something about it didn’t feel right to me so I don’t want to get together again.’
People who feel like this are probably have interracial sex.. and your conscience is making you realize that what you just did was bad. Keep to your own race as nature intended and all will be right with the world. If your are mixed.. well then I guess you’re fucked?? Since you will always be having interracial sex… I guess unless you find somebody with that same mix? Either way… Races should only breed within their race.
Meh all of my feelings (after the money shot) can usually be summed up in one simple phrase: “We’re done here.”
Not only does our sex drive cloud ones judgement it can dull an individual’s life saving fight our flight response.
And you think that gays are the only ones with this ‘problem’? Women have the same complaint about straight males….
Christopher…I don’t understand what you are talking about at all. A meme is a thought that gets passed along. What does oxytocin have to with a man wanting to have another sexual encounter with someone? Last I checked I have neither a uterus nor cervix. Please clarify and simplify what you are trying to share with us.
Noted British pioneering human sexuality researcher Havelock Ellis, M.D., observed over a century ago that “all animals feel sad after coitus” (or words to that effect.)
Yea I know I have extra horny times and will want a guy to be in me that I will want it bad from him he is aware how horny and before you know it I have given the ass up raw to him
Bad decision
It’s happened to us all before.
I’m more than sure it’s happened to me. Like a comment above said, it’s an animalistic response, more of a switch. Once we’ve whammed, bammed, and thanked the ma’am, that switch is killed.
Just think about it. When you’re starving, you generally would eat things that are not on your diet, right? When you’re full, all you really wanna do is go work out until every gram of sodium and fat is out of your system.
Gay love and lust can be as cloudy as our judgments. We just have to realize that and see it for what is; a part of gay human nature and try our best to be real about the realities of our sex fueled worlds and have fun while doing so…
This is exactly the reason why I let them take me shopping, first! Paint those walls, fix that electricity, and do something about the plumbing. Replace the lightbulbs, carry these boxes down to the basement, connect the DVD player to the television and surround sound system. Help me plant these planters, the scews in this cabinet needs to be tightened, and take a look at my computer cause I think something’s wrong with it! Look, I need a man not a one night stand sooooo, before anything goes down in the bedroom I am going to make sure that I have by a, ‘man’ gets taken care of before we have sex because I know afterwards he’s not going to have any time and will avoid me. It’s sad that it has to be this way but, it’s the only way clowdy thinking and bad judgement works for me. Try it yourself, at least YOU won’t be left with a loose hole and hurt feelings – again!
This is especially true when I first wake up in the morning, I wake up so horned up; I sign on here! I’m thinking, he’s cute, he’s hotter; oh I’ll let him cum all over my phat ass, talking all kinds of dirty shit, and really meaning it too. I would proceed to talk to multiple guys, I get so hot by our conversation that I start jerking off, I would nutt, and then I would re-read all things I said; I’m thinking wow I didn’t mean NONE OF IT!
Moral of the story, when your horny jerk off before you meet someone. If you would still do all the things you talked about; then you are probably really into this guy!
This is exactly the reason why I let them take me shopping, first! Paint those walls, fix that electricity, and do something about the plumbing. Replace the lightbulbs, carry these boxes down to the basement, connect the DVD player to the television and surround sound system. Help me plant these planters, the scews in this cabinet needs to be tightened, and take a look at my computer cause I think something’s wrong with it! Look, I need a man not a one night stand sooooo, before anything goes down in the bedroom I make sure that everything that I need to have taken care of by a, ‘man’ gets taken care of before we have sex because I know afterwards he’s not going to have any time and will avoid me – and even cross to the other side of the street when he sees me in public, or act scared and nervous if I approach him before he notices me. It’s sad that it has to be this way but, it’s the only way clowdy thinking and bad judgement works for me. Try it yourself, at least YOU won’t be left with a loose hole and hurt feelings – again!
I do this all the time. I’ll say and do a bunch of stuff that I would never do when I’m not that horny. I don’t always regret it but I am definitely a totally different guy when I’m thinking with my cock.
This is not uncommon in male sexuality and can also be found in some female sexuality as well. It so for this very reason that I always fap before a date. Meeting a new potential partner with a hard on is like grocery shopping when you’re hungry, you always end up asking yourself “why did I do that?” The answer is simple. When our desires are allowed to control us, we are not our best selves. We become like slaves to the chemical impulses of our ancient ancestors telling us to cum in as many things as possible or eat until you can’t eat anymore. However, interesting things begin to happen when you learn to control these primitive urges and let your more complex self drive your actions. In fact, I never let myself know that I was even attracted to men until I began to examine my sexuality in more depth. By understanding what makes me tick, I believe I have the power to be the best “me” possible and so does anyone else who takes the time to set aside their primal instincts and lean more on their intellect and reasoning. ^_^
Be careful! You’re talking about the reason this site exists! Gunnna upset the apple cart!
even when your looking for a hook up and are horny you deceide this guys for you then you say what the phuck after you set up a meet and then second guess it
Ernest Holloway- You are the exact type of man I hope that I never encounter through this site. You sound like a fool: “I told him that I don’t drink…” followed by, “I had two beers.” The other parts of your comment leave even more questions in my mind.
What kind of morals and integrity do you have?
Based on the posts added here (one by Nitewalker on 3/19 at 12:22 was the last), it seems that most guys find that being horny does not generally cloud their judgement. Why? They think ahead because they know if they don’t, being horny and not thinking ahead could cloud their judgement. Seems that at lot of guys just don’t fit the role of the helpless femme fatale promoted by the holders of the Gay Brand.
This is absolutely true…at least for me. The only time I felt that connection and wanted to pursue it, the other guy didn’t feel the same way.
Reading the comments about filling those horny times well yes other things can help but at the end of the day men awake with an erection this is natures way of alerting the body to sex , it’s basic we gay guys awake and it’s hard I certainly don’t start doing other things it’s asking me to deal with it
The only time i dont have that feeling is when a genuine connection is felt. Rare, and worth holding out for, if werent for some of those insatiable urges that are awesome in moment but never as fulfilling as we’d hoped.
When high levels of sex hormones floods the brain. Its mechanical most of the time after that. No reason or rhyme. Thats it!!
I have the opposite problem and a really high sex drive. Coupled with a broad range of attraction.
I assume at the same time I must be the “regret” guy….lol
I can spend a whole weekend on here talking to guy after guy who is “ready now” and they are the ones pursuing me.
But then I think they jerkoff and thats the end of it.
The convo always goes:
Him: You wanna come over?
Me: Sure
Him: Awesome, ill jump in the shower now
Me: Ok, I just showered, whats the address?
Him: Signed off
This is a great topic. I used to spend hours on this site, trying to make a connection with another human being. What was supposed to be a five minute check in would last hours – which seemed like minutes. By then the horniness has turned into something else… sometimes it feels like desperation (like last call at a bar) and sometimes it feels like the sex drive is driving (animalistic).
It’s different for everyone. When I did the hook up thing and there was no emotional investment, I’d cum and need to get the hell out of there quickly. (It got to the point where he’d have to cum before me because I knew I wouldn’t want to touch or be touched afterwards. With an emotional connection it’s a little bit different.
At the end of the day I think sex addiction is real, alive and well. When I think back on the past I realize I’ve hooked up randomly with guys just to feel something different than what I was feeling at the time. As soon as the chase was over and the satisfaction had, the feelings always returned. And I’m willing to bet many people on here (no judgment) use hook ups to escape their reality for only a little while.
This is simple. 9 times out of 10, both are fully aware that it’s a hook up. It’s about sex. Being clear with each other before the fact generally removes any ambiguity later. IF there is chemistry on a deeper level, the perceptive person will realize that momentary gratification could ruin any potential. Being horny doesn’t mean you can’t “keep your head.”
I just experienced this. I actually said if you want we can be done, this does not seem to be working out. So neither of ust got to the gratification of the moment. I got dressed and left.