Gay Stuff : Sex With Younger Guys
I’ve been dating this younger guy for the past few months and everything is great. Really great in fact. One thing that comes up is when we have sex, I don’t always have an orgasm and I’m ok with it. He has said something about it but I reassure him that it has nothing to do with him.
That makes me wonder, what’s more important, the orgasm or the act of having sex? For me it’s pretty simple. It’s the act of sex. I love sex, I love watching my boyfriend while we have sex. Sometimes I wish I had more hands, lol.
I suppose when I was younger it was the orgasm that signals a job well done, but now that I am older it seems a job well done is seeing my boyfriend cum.
So guys, what do you think? Is the orgasm more important or the sex act. Where do you find more enjoyment?
Thoughts? Comments?
g skorich
I think that age itself is nothing but a number, and that sex/relationships should be whatever works for that couple. If only younger (or older) is what rocks your bed, then nothing wrong with that.
However, I also think the guys who can’t even SOCIALLY associate with people their own age or older, are demonstrating a psychological disorder.
There’s nothing healthy about 40/50/60yr-olds who can only fathom hanging out with 20yr-olds. We all know the type.
I ask friends: If you had to be stranded on fuck island or kiss and hug island, which would you choose? No hugging and kissing on fuck island; no fucking on hug and kiss island. All say the same: hug and kiss island. Love and sensuality every time for most over raw sex and fucking. So orgasm, for me, like my friends, is icing on the cake.
I think both are important, and I do like making my husband cum, but, like you, occasionally I don’. Now he knows that that’s not as important to me. In reality, he does make me cum, but occasionally it’s delayed, as in later when I’m jerking off thinking about what we did. We have our fetishes, too, and sometimes when he does what he does, it makes me cum and it’s not – strictly speaking – purely sexual. 🙂
He has LOOOONG orgasms that are so hot to watch. But with a dick like his, you might expect him too. He’s just shy of 11.5″ and pretty thick.
Ah to get off or not, that’s the question. Satisfaction comes in many ways, for some, the need to get off is a must and others, meh, not really. If the sex is hot and forfilling, you get off but, differently. A hot romp with a hot guy? Orgasm after orgasm after orgasm. Yeah, guys have ’em. Don’t kid yourself there. If the guy is good at what he does, then a few POW’s is in order. But when I do get off, after a few hours of some really hot foreplay, I can make the walls rattle (they don’t like me at the tubs, since all that pent up energy needs another way to escape). So I guess what I’m getting at here is the act of sex is way more important than getting off. When I was a young homo, the need to get off was a must. Now that I’m not as young, the act of sex is more important. If I get my playmate off, great but if I don’t, no big deal. The over all satisfaction is the ticket, not the big pop (unless I need it).
I have dated almost exclusively younger guys. I find guys my age to be generally unsavory, overweight, and over all kinda nasty. I don’t have a problem with age, just how people take care of them selves.
Do i have an issue with younger guys, as i find them refreshing and very fun.
I consider the act of sex to be very important to any relationship, but as a part of it. being an older guy my self, i understand the bonding that results from the act. An orgasm isnt always possible, especially for older guys. My self, it takes me alot longer then most guys to get off, when i do i make a real mess. But its not due to afault of the other guy or my self. it is what it is.
I find my enjoyment is pleasuring my partner, and seeing that they get off. if i manage to get off in the process, its perfect, but im also happy just to cuddle as i am an advocate if physical contact and bonding.
I just wished more younger men would indulge in the more experienced guys and give em a chance to show them that age is not a handicap, but just a new place to enjoy one another.
I actually agree, this is such a good observation! As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become WAY less selfish in bed – like if I can make my partner come, that’s WAY more impmortant than me getting off. Then again, it’d be nice if the other person at least makes a token effort at returning affection though, it sucks when you feel like you’re untouchable 🙁
I agree. As I get older I find more importance in the intimacy and satisfaction of the other person. Back in my younger days it was more about just getting off. I think one a the very few benefits of getting older!
to me is the act of sex….being a VERS/BOTTOM i get the “job weel done” when i see my mate cum and know that he had fun in doing so…i also do not cum during sex but that’s just me…i know that if i do i lose all senses of continuing. But to me, for me to cum is unimportant. I love the joy of the ride…
By all means it’s the experience not just the act of cuming we can all make that happen with no help it’s all about my partner and both our passions.
Sex with younger guys are hot. They enjoy it so much more and last a lot longer. They do shoot a lot and that is just sexy!!
At 27, I hardly qualify as an older guy, but when I was of a “gentler” age let’s say I was seeing three men all of whom were 35 to 45 years older. For a long time, I did not believe them when they said that they had had a good time in bed even if they did not reach orgasm. Two had bouts with erectile dysfunction that even Viagra could not completely cure sometimes. All three were bottoms and loved being ridden. If anything, I had to learn how NOT to orgasm too soon because they loved being “filled” by a man as one put it. At 27, I am not willing to give up the orgasm because it feels just too damn good, I guess if I couldn’t orgasm then the sex would be pretty darned good as is.
Seems you answered your own question. You enjoy seeing him cum and knowing you made him feel good but he doesnt get that same pleasure.
If I were him, it would be very disappointing. Personally, id loose interest. Its like giving head to a limp dick. Not very enjoyable…
When I am dating someone seriously, I get more pleasure (and VERY turned on) watching my partner has an orgasm. Yes, it is nice if we both have an orgasm (especially if at the same time), but it’s not a necessity. There will be times when the reverse happens. With him being younger he may not quite understand that yet. Assure him he more than satisfies you with the intimacy and closeness of your bodies entwined and should you orgasm along with him that is just an added bonus.
I am 54 and meet a guy a year and a half a go. He told me he was 25, long story but I later found out he was 19. The sex is great. And yes, there are times when I just can’t cum. He likes older men, and says he’s used to that, so it isn’t a problem for us most of the time. I too enjoy the having sex part just as much as me experiencing an orgasm. We’re both versatile, so it makes it even more fun. I actually enjoy making him have two or three orgasms before I even cum once. The biggest problem is, even at 20 now, his maturity level leaves a lot to be desired. If I had it to do over again, we would just play together, and I wouldn’t have let myself fall in love. That has proven to be very painful
I believe you answered your own question here. It depends on what stage of life you and your partner are in. Young guys need that orgasam to reasure themselves they are having sex right, when getting there partner to cum. And mature men don’t need to cum to enjoy sex, but, they still like getting there young partner to cum, because to the young, sex isn’t happening, unless you cum. That is where the old saying comes into play…..”Young and Dumb and full of Cum” lol
To me it is the act, but then I have erectile dysfunction. I have found that the majority of men it is the orgasm, they feel they are not doing something right when I do not get hard. It does not matter what I say. And this is from men of various ages.
for me, it’s the sex. I can go for hours and hours before cumming.I get my satisfaction pleasing a man.I What ever it takes, as long as we both agree, let him have multiple orgasms.
For me personally being 31, going 32, it’s definitely the overall experience for having fun with a friend or loved one.
While I would like to have my orgasm, I’m OK with who I’m with , having their orgasm and making sure they’re satisfied.
For me I love sex and I don’t need to cum every time. But I do love when my lover cums!! I do think it’s more about age. I’m 48 and don’t cum every time I have sex. When I was younger it was all about the cum shot..now it’s more about the physical act and feeling good…just my opinion
Is this written by the same idiot last who last week wrote about being upfront while not being upfront himself? Anyway:
“I suppose when I was younger it was the orgasm that signals a job well done, but now that I am older it seems a job well done is seeing my boyfriend cum.”
Do you not see the double standard in this paragraph? Maybe a job well done to him is seeing you cum?
Maybe you should just write about porn. I don’t think you’re qualified to do much more than jerk off.
I truly enjoy having sex. I can really get into some rough play with others. Rarely do I ever cum. Playing with others is hot so why not make it last.
On the other hand I enjoy making love to my husband. Morning sex is the best and I am lucky enough that he wakes up before me to shower. I know that if he climbs back into bed it’s going to be a great day and that’s when its great to blow my load.
I feel the same way. I am currently with a younger guy and don’t orgasm either. I also find the pleasure in knowing that he does and I don’t believe he has a problem with me either.
I hope the younger guys will read this and be willing to have fun with us older guys.
Totally agree with you. I may be a typical bottom guy but I love to see my top guy cum 🙂
Same here. I just enjoy the art of sex and how we put it down. Cumming is not my priority. It does make some partners feel inadequate because they couldn’t make me climax
I’m 45 years old butcI look 35. I have sex with guys from 19-25 years old. Why in the Hell would I want to have sexwith someone my age. I show all these young boys how the big boys play. I love it when they tell me that im old. Then after I break then in and I teach them how to take a nice black dick they love it. I have four young ones tell me that I was to rough on them. I always tell them the same thing your.not fucking with little boy your messing with a man.
You may want to consult with your doctor about your orgasm to make sure there’s not a greater issue lurking in the background. Just to be safe.
Relationships are more about intimacy and sharing your life with another human being. You can accomplish this with or without sexual intercourse. You and your partner have to decide what works for you and what doesn’t. It’s not a one size fits all arrangement.
I love sex with younger guys. In fact, my favorite age range is 25-30. I’m in my mid 50’s but still get hit on a lot by guys in their 20’s. although the orgasm is the final touch, the entire experience with a young verile man is so erotic.
It’s not so much the age difference, then it is the attitude of the people involved. Many guys who are older, wouldn’t even think about it. Just as many young guys dismiss older guys because of their age. You can have great sex when you’re in tune with your head, and with your head.
Depends on his level of physical, mental and emotional maturity. Generally, if the guy is inferior to me in that regard, regardless of age, I wont be interested. On that note, I also am more turned on with the more in-his-prime male body (25-35).
I’ve only had sex with two guys who were younger than me (one was 18, the other was my age but a month younger) and I just couldn’t get into the act.
As for your question, both the act and orgasm are of equal importance. The better the act, the better the orgasm. There are few things better than having great sex with someone you are very attracted after some buildup; the climax is always a testament of the act.
My younger boyfriend(11yr difference, 31 n 20) has said the same thing to me, to which I had the same response you had. I cum sometimes but like you said, for me, it’s all about pleasing him and making sure that he’s happy and satisfied.
Orgasm is nice as I love to cum, but I also enjoy the sex. I enjoy seeing partner cum as much as anything.
I I have found the older I got sex was more about the intimacy and the passion that two people share together. And I don’t have to come to be fulfilled. I agree with you it’s the pleasure you get watch your partner cum.
For me orgasm is all of 5 minutes if that of what can be a 1-2 hour sexual experience. Hugging, loving, touching, licking, kissing, massaging, spooning, sucking, stroking, somewhere in there orgasm happens and then the fun continues with more hugging, loving, pillow talk, falling asleep in each other’s arms.
Absolutely, sex is king with me, orgasm or not.
Other question…sex with a younger guy? I generally enjoy sex with most men, irregardless of age, race, etc. But there was one…he was in his early 20’s, total closet case, chiseled and built beautiful, blond, perfect body. He let me undress him and lay him on my bed. I looked with awe at his beauty and willingness to give himself to me. Touching, loving, stroking his body was electrifying. His ass went up and there was his boy rose bud. Never have I rimmed, but the beauty of the moment was too much. I tasted and it was incredibly fresh and clean. My tongue darted in and out and I was stunned with his moans and groans, his body alternating between relaxed and stiff with pleasure. Needless to say he soon orgasmed and then left. That will forever be stamped in my mind of the young man, so alone, so needing, so responsive to my touch. Myself, 57 at the time. There is a place in my heart and mind for the younger man.
I am a top, huge dick, so my pleasure comes from seeing the looks on the guy’s face and the sounds he makes and him cumming. Because of my size they cannot always take the pounding it takes for me to cum but that’s OK. i mean it’s great when it happens, especially simultaneously ! that rarely happens but when it does, i do not let that one get away ! i do love oral sex also and some guys insist on getting me off after they cum and that’s cool as long as they know what they are doing but there are alot of times where i just send them away with a BIG smile on their face and walking a little funny.
oh, i forgot the question..LOL..i am older and sex partners are usually 20-28 and they are the one that comes after me =)
Part of having great relationships is the reality that 100% fantastic sex 100% of the time is a ridiculous expectation. Every time you get on the workbench, you are different and so is your partner. Whether its hormones, biorhytms, the position of the moon and stars, how rested you are … whatever. Expecting 100% 4th of July With Marching Bands sex is foolish. Sometimes it’s great for you both. Sometimes just one of you. Sometimes it’s “meh” across the board.
It’s all part of what makes sex great, but more importantly what makes relationships great. The sex part is always a crapshoot. Expecting bed-rocking results everytime is stupid. How the two of you weather it all is gold ribbon.
But guys who are only concerned with bringing home “a cute bubble butt” or the guy with the great haircut or the hottie in the latest from the fashion world, or “the guy with a beard” or “the guy in the suit” won’t ever get to reap the benefits of …
The relationship.
Sex is just the frosting. Whether you orgasm or how big the orgasm is is irrelevant.
I am 18 years older than my fb he is 32 and I am 50. It does not matter if either of us cum when we have sex. It is the fact that we are being intimate with each other that counts
The orgasm is not that important to me..I’ve been seeing this guy for over two years and his is 24 years younger than me. I’ve had one orgasm he on the other hand has one ever time…
I’m with you, sometimes I don’t come either. Am mild diabetic and coronary artery disease. Cialis & a penis pump help. But with my long time partner great sex is had by
both of us as we discover new and exciting positions.
I have always loved good sex and with a special person it is just great.
I’m with you! love to see and hear them cum!
For me, it is being together with the guy and knowing that I am making him feel good.
I can stay at home and get off.
Im always dating or hooking up with younger dudes. My experience is like yours. I like the build-up. The young hot guys can’t always last as long as us. But WoW! So fun to make them feel good. I guess we are givers-HaHa!
For me it is the act as I too no longer cum. When I was young that was the big thing how much, how far did it shot, how long before the next load.
I agree it’s the whole act of intimacy that I find stimulating not necessarily the act of ejaculating. I get lots of pleasure from stimulating my partner.
The sex itself is more important. If all I want is an orgasm I don’t need another person.
I will say the orgasm… at least for me, because I see it as you did what you were suppose to do as well as having the sexual act with your partner whether it’s male or female. The act itself is not really much to think about, however I would say if my partner doesn’t have an orgasm it tends to make me wonder if it’s me along with other questions. So I guess it
Does have to do with the age of a person, because my friends whom are my age group mostly think the same way
I agree…there is nothing more enjoyable then watching a man enjoying himself….and if I am the one providing the pleasure…dang dang dang….this includes the breathing and moaning just the sounds and smells of sharing and enjoying the moments with someone. There are times where cuming is way over rated and it is way more fun to just fall asleep in each other’s arms and let the world just pass us by….ahhhhhh….I know I know…a die hard romantic and proud of if, life is way to short to rush through anything…
the act of sex or love is more important than an orgasm to me…but i know my younger lover thinks otherwise
i,m the same way, when i was younger it was a big deal for me to have a amazing orgasm, but now i,m older it,s more of a turn on and a job well done when i see my partner orgasm, they always ask why didn’t you cum did i do something wrong, or did i hurt you, or something, it,s like no it was great, it felt amazing, and you were great but i love to see you cum it shows me that i did a good job and got you to have an orgasm 😉 and since i bottom i love to give my top the more intense pleasure but then that,s me, i,m more in to pleasuring my top more then having a orgasm !!
As a submissive bottom I really enjoy seeing my top get off. Whether I get off is of less concern but if I know the top wants me to cum I try not to disappoint him!
I have the same question. I like the act, if and when I cum its great but not as important as seeing my partner satisfied. When I see him satisfied so am I.
Im actually pretty young (24) and im the same way. I dont always cum when having sex and my ex-boyfriend (who was 29) had a real problem with that. He thought he didnt turn me on enough to give me an orgasm and that was far from the truth. I really enjoy the act of sex, the intimacy between me and my partner. And I love seeing the faces of pleasure I get from my partner. But my ex couldnt understand that.
Going back to what you said about you “getting the joy of just watching your BF cum”, did you ever consider that maybe you’re taking the joy from him by you not cumming? — When you look at it that way, I don’t think it’s really about younger v.s. older, but more along the lines of a self-centered PoV. sorry :-/
I love having sex, I could care one way or the other if I cum. I love watching my boyfriend cum. Just like g skorich stated it was different when I was younger. I was all about getting off.
I’m not sure why this was titled or directed at sex w/ younger guys. Especially with the concluding question posed to us. This experience can and does happen in any relationship and at any age. But what I find more perplexing & related to the article is there seems to be a lot of equating the quality, satisfaction or value of our relationships & encouters with these abstract measurements. Need a BIG DICK 8.5+ to satisfy, lotsa cum= U love me or U must suck dick like a hoover to be taken seriously. I’m not sure if it is a “Gay thing” or a “Man thing” or “Gay man thing” but we need to stop it and focus on what is important and that is, in my opinion that someone thinks/feels that you are worth spending time with so enjoy the moment measure the value of intimacy if you must measure something.
@g skorich
Girl, you’re like the gay Carrie Bradshaw. You should have your own show, I’ll watch LOL.
As a bottom (who has always prefered older men) it has always been about the act…for me anyway. I enjoy sex fully whether I orgasm or not. But, for me, when the top I’m with doesn’t orgasm I feel as though I’ve let him down. It’s a strange thing, I admit… I don’t have to cum but my top does. I just really get off getting my partner off. Sometimes at the expense of my own orgasms.
Well u dont mention your ages so Im not really sure if lack of orgasm is excusable. For myself there’s no thrill without the spill. Now I have had quickies where my partner just needed to get off n I hooked him up and vice versa. But 1 on 1 dating exclusive I need all of my dude especially the complete sex. I just am a pleaser in the bedroom n the biggest thrill of being a man that loves men is being able to take his body beyond exstacy I need that to feel fulfilled. I detest selfishness sexually. But I have had a fuckbuddy that didnt always cum during sex, he said it was more abt our intimacy n foreplay than the orgasm. It just didnt feel as good to me if I couldnt take him over the edge. And Ive even entertained hustlers/escorts that tell me its abt MY pleasure not theirs. Definite deal breaker, I dnt feel you’re really into it if you cant take it to the limit n cum. Guess u guys can decide where your common ground is, whatever works for you.
“I suppose when I was younger it was the orgasm that signals a job well done, but now that I am older it seems a job well done is seeing my boyfriend cum.”
Isn’t that the same thing? Your younger boyfriend doesn’t think his job is done unless he sees you cum
I agree,I love the act of sex and getting my partner off and getting him off..
On 2/09/14 I met a guy on your site… when he arrived at the platonic location it was obvious that me being 39 was disappointed when I found out he lied about his age being 30 and was 21. I continued the diner and he was persistent on taking me back to his place for drinks. My x-ray vision could not deny seeing an Adonis body under his clothes and mystery got the best of me. Once we got to his place he poured me a glass of red wine and as he handed it to me he went in for a kiss. We made our way into his bedroom and made out for 30 minutes before I wrapped up to penetrate and I must say it was a task as he was extremely tight. Being a versatile top and 45 minutes of him running from my 9′ of man meat I laid him on his back and began to jack off while jacking him off as well. Hot, excited, and looking at this 6’2 tall hunk wrapped him up and began to tease his 7′ meat with my hole. Finally after 4 minutes of playing with his emotions I slide him in rode him for 9 minutes until he started moaning, balled his hands up, closed his eyes, and started shaking. It was the BEST in quite some time and I did not even get the chance to buss as I enjoyed seeing him in ecstasy . We showered together, I finished my wine, and we exchanged numbers before I left. The nest morning I received a text “You might’ve turned me vers/bttm” I was shocked and replied “Really… Is that so, were you a virgin, have you ever done that to another guy??” and his reply was “Yeah,No,I just never had my dick in somebody ass before and it felt so good can we see each other again?” I wont go on and on with what else we talked about but lets just say that I think I found satisfaction outside the gratification of getting my own satisfaction.
Well tonight was a great night. I met a name Dave. I saw that me was 18 and I wanted.to talk to him. I text him and then he texted me back. Then I gave him my number and I told him to call me. The next thing I knew he called me and we was talking from 10:00pm until 3:00am. He woke up and he called me and he was going to school. Then at 9:00pmI was at a fast food restaurant when he gave me a call. He told me that he was horry. I started talking nasty to him on my cell. I asked him if he wanted me to pick him up from his dorm room.I drove and picked him up and we went for a drive. We went into a hardware store parking lot and we started making out. Then it started getting hot. He told me he was a 7/12 but when I saw it I laugh at him. He got upset I told him he was not a 7/12. I told him he was a 9/12. We had some very hot sex in the parking lot. I asked him have he ever been rimmed? He looked me with a puppy dog eyes. I told let me show you what it is. I bent him over and I went to.work on him. He started screaming in the van saying yes yes yes. I asked him did he like it and couldn’t say anything to me. I rimmed him and fingerd him and he could not stop screaming yes yes yes. He fell a sleep in the van. I woke him up and I asked him was that not the best sex he ever had? He looked at me and he said that I was the best he ever had. I told him not so bad for a 45 year old? He looked at me and he kissed me and said daddy you are the best. He stated that he wanted to have sex with me every night. Nice to know this old man can still a ass to sleep.
I love sex with older men. Once I had sex with a guy that didn’t climax, so thought it was me, until he reassured me it wasn’t. I felt a lot better, and he knew how to make me spill my juices very well.
Nothing wrong with not cumming. Enjoy the sex. I love to see my partners faces when they cum or during sex. I especially like when it is a young guy and you can tell he has not had sex very much. The faces they make can be a classic. I have had guys fuck me and I came more than once and they never did get off and I think they enjoyed pleasing me. Have fun with with your younger guy.
As much as I enjoy the sex, even as I’ve gotten older, it still is very much about the orgasm for me. There’s just something about sharing that ecstasy with someone versus feeling it on your own.
I feel the same way orgasms are wonderful but I feel as long as my partner has one then I have done a good job lol sometimes I just last so long before I do cum
You already answered your question “but now that I’m older a job well done is seeing my boyfriend cum.” That’s what your boyfriend wants also…
for me I like older guys but, I’m the one that doesn’t orgasm and it is a job well done bringing them to it. Also there are lots of place on the body that will make you quake. Finding them is unbelievably fun.
Also, been dating a younger guy. I’m going to be 50. He’s 25. Actually, I refer guys my own age but it doesn’t seem to be happening. I also don’t have an orgasm every time we have sex. He’s fine with it but it makes me wonder why. I’m hard and ready but just can’t wrap things up. Never had this issue when I’ve been with guys my own age.
I have been achieving orgasm from a very young age and many or most of them have been alone. Cumming is easy. I think we all will agree achieving orgasm with someone you are attracted to or in love with is always a goal but is it not the only goal.
The hottest and most erotic time I have ever had with a man, is one morning with the special man I love, we made love for over 4 hours twisting, turning, sucking and probing neither of us had an orgasm literally but we both agree the feelings and the connection we achieved were much better and deeper than any orgasm and made the next time we met even better.
I am in full agreement with you. My bf had difficulty in the beginning reaching orgasm and it was devastating to me. He is older than me, but not by much and it was a little bit of an issue for me. However, patience and understanding finally won through and now he comes to quickly! It would not be possible though if I didn’t feel that it is way better to get them off rather than focusing on your own needs, my patience and compassion were able to make him feel free to be fun and comfortable with me. We both know that sex is bigger than orgasms, it may be the ultimate goal of a person to be fully aware and vulnerable. That is what good sex is about, the orgasms are just a great side effect!
I am 24 and if I’m having sex and I don’t get off then I’m majorly disappointed. If my partner doesn’t I feel in someway inadequate regardless of what he says. Maybe my age has something to do with that, idk.
I’ve been messing around with an older guy for a few weeks and he never has an orgasm. We finish when I cum. He says the same thing you do. I don’t know how I feel about that yet. I want him to cum but I want him to enjoy sex with me more. He’s amazing in bed. He’s great to cuddle with afterwards. I feel selfish wanting him to have an orgasm…especially since he tells me he can. I have a feeling it’s because he’s lonely and wants companionship and can only get that through sex. So what am I supposed to do?
It’s been the act of sex for me for a long time, I’m 25 but I get absolutely no pleasure from sex. The orgasm is mediocre and my mind just can’t stay interested in what’s going on. So I do it for my boyfriend because I know he still enjoys it, but if it weren’t for him I probably wouldn’t be having any sex and honestly I don’t feel like I’d be missing out on a damn thing.
I also date a younger man , and have for 6 years. I am 57, but look 40 with the right amount of botox, he is 25. The sex is great ! We both have high sex drives, and I dont always have to orgasm as long as he does. He chased me for about a year before I said yes. Happy so far.
I’m assuming you’re a stone cold bottom. Boring! Versatile is the way to go. Satisfy each other all the way.
As for dating younger guys, there is nothing wrong with it as long as they are a consenting adult.
As we evolve from boys to men our minds, body and souls also change. So it should be reasonable to think that our sexual outlet will evolve. We learn that sex and love are two different things. We learn that pleasure comes from seeing the pleasure received. We start to require a deeper sense of self and a deeper need for a connection. You start to define love not just an act but a spiritual state of mind. One day your heart will flutter just because you have some one to love and give thanks that you were so lucky to find it.
I have been having sex with a younger guy and I don’t always have an orgasm. To me the joy of it is satisfying my young partner. It satisfies me when he has an orgasm. I try very hard to insure he does. But sometime even he does not, but it is nice to be with him and share good times. To me the sex act is more important than the orgasm.
what is important is that he always satisfaire,,i that he cum but i the same time you have to have a good cominication about it ,,let hem know ,,that you dont always have to cum to be satisfaire with hem
at 56, an orgasm is important, but i like foreplay. i love younger men. they make me feel alive. nothing serious, i just enjoy cruising craigslist and go from there. been in 2 relationships and probably will not have a third. i am dealing with more wrinkles and more of an out of shape body. for me, whatever i get out of it, is a plus.
Same for me. I have always thought of myself as a total bottom when with another man.
I believe there is a large psychological aspect to sex.
Whenever I’m with a male partner enjoying sex I completely surrender,I’m not really submissive, submission and surrender are two different things, at least to me. Much of
my focus is on his sexual pleasure and on being certain that
he or she experiences maximum pleasure(it’s same for me
when I’m with a woman), I enjoy being an un-selfish lover.
Having my guy inside me and the feeling of being physically connected, in that way, in those moments of pure human existence can be really intense, I mean how much more connected can one human being be to another than by having him inside. I’m not an overly philosophical guy, but it’s almost a spiritual connection.
I think much of the self satisfaction for me comes from giving my lover a great experience. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy those rock’n orgasms as much as anyone!! I’m convinced they are so much more intense when I really want to be there for him.
I am a 50 yr old man and I too get great joy out of making my man cum!
Are you sure your sex life is really great with no orgasm?
Does it bother you don’t? What is the age difference between you and your friend? I don’t always have orgasms either. For me the most important thing is seeing the person I am with satisfied. That is why I am a total bottom that loves to suck.
The act
Let start of buy saying that me and my bf have complete trust and after two years and several neg HIV test we don’t use condoms.
My bf always says he can feel me shoot inside him I can’t feel him shoot in me so I guess some guys have more feeling in there then others. I know my bf love getting fucked he is always speaks in syllables when Im inside him. But he is really tight after he cums.
Many men can identify with what happens after you cum. If your on bttm your ass tightens up and it start to hurt. My bf ass turns into a vice grip and I have to stop fucking cause it hurts him. Sometimes I cum before this a sometimes I don’t. My bf always want me to cum I him. He says it makes him feel good when I can cum in him. But I enjoy making him feel good. When I have sex I do want to cum and enjoy it but try and do all the things that he likes and touch all the special spots on him that drive him wild but I don’t always cum. Sometime I can be rock hard fucking him enjoying every min but can cum it could be 10-15 min if hard thrusting it feels great but can’t get it to shoot and other times I can shoot in 30sec. So I think in a relationship partners need to understand that just because we don’t cum sometimes doesn’t me we didn’t enjoy it.
Now for all you guys still hooking up I can understand the problem because that’s the whole point of a hook up. And before anyone says they can just jerk off. “no it doesn’t feel the same”
I’m dating a younger guy as well and the dynamic is quite different. I’m 54 and he’s 27. I completely agree that it’s more about the sex than the orgasm. I thought that this was something that came with age and/or experience. Imagine my surprise when I learned that my boyfriend feels the same way! He could care less about cumming so long as we’re both enjoying the experience. Guess I got one if the good ones!
I agree 100%. it is the intimacy of making love, orgasm is great (kind of like the 5 minute throw everything in the sky fireworks finale) but the time during (to continue the analogy – the 30 minutes of different kinds and heights and colors of fireworks) that makes the experience enjoyable. may not have a finale, but man, the show was incredible…
I am one of those guys that has a younger BF. I am Diabetic and that can interfer with me reaching climax. However that does not bother me at all. Like you, it is the sexual contact that is more important to me. It did bother my boyfriend a little bit at first. But he as admitted that it now makes it more relaxing for him. That he can now just focus on the “fun” and not the perfect ending.
i agree w/you. when i have sex with a younger guy, i’m all about seeing him cum, doesn’t matter to me if i do or not. the act is much more satisfying to me than me cumming
I have been having an affair with a young guy for over 1 1/2 years. I don’t always have an orgasm but to me that is not necessary. I try to make sure my young guy does though because I do know how good that feels. To me the sex act is more important with the being close and together more important than an orgasm.
It’s the same with me! I’m 50 yrs old and have NEVER dated men my own age. I’ve always dated much younger men and I don’t always have an orgasm during sex but I still love it! I’m just like you! I love seeing my partner Squirt! It make me fell good to know that he felt good! The orgasm is not always with the tool in your pants, sometimes it’s in your brain and it can be WONDERFUL! and to all the young men out there that say they don’t like older men, I have SEVERAL young ones you need to visits with!
For me it all depends on which gender I’m with. I’m 31, still pretty young. So I think it’s all about the sex. I read someone’s comment on him going bareback and his partner feeling him shoot in him. I have a male partner who we don’t use condoms and he says the same. He can feel it inside him. But if I don’t, and say I did, there’s a little bit of upset with him. For him the orgasm is what gets it. Because then he, in his words, knows that I was fully aroused and turned on. If I don’t, he feels like I just needed a hole. It’s not that. He knows I’m into him. Just don’t orgasm everytime. But nonetheless still great sex. With a woman, you don’t cum your not attracted. Nothing to explain there. I feel being younger it’s about the sex. The feel and enjoyment is great enough for me. But I think once your older, the orgasm is the defining point. Let’s the person know the sex is legit and not one sided
@ Jay – relax
@ newyork newyork – thank you!!
@ All – orgasms are great and I do have them with my BF. its about 50% of the time. if you cant have an orgasm then maybe there is something wrong and you should talk to your doctor. thanks for all the great comments!!
I am a 49 year old white guy and I’ve been dating a 24 year black guy for about 2 years. We kiss and hug, and have a great time. I am a total bottom and he is a total top, so me not cumin has been no issue. I love watching his face when he comes while I’m sucking him and he loves seeing me take his big load in the face or chest…or mouth. He is a very considerate lover while fucking, always being sure that I am enjoying his smooth, deep, slow strokes. I couldn’t be happier and he is very satisfied too. So, I agree with most of you guys..if it works for the couple, then it doesn’t really matter who cumms and who doesnt.
When an older dude is paying me I really don’t care if he cums or not.
I am 26 and I also only exclusively date younger guys as in under 21. They actually love an older stud like me breeding their pussy so having an age difference can be a good thing!
You can have an orgasm and not cum, even with a limp cock I did when I had testicular cancer years ago doing chemo. Love when “younger” guys cum their loads are big and I love to stroke with it.
Agree, with some observations that some “older” guys don’t take care of themselves. Age is not a big issue in itself, you don’t have to be an adonis but least be HWP and well groomed.
As a 51 yr old totally submissive bottom, I prefer to have a younger top MASTER. For me, I totally get my pleasure from making him moan, groan, and blowing his load deep down my throat or buried deep in my ass. It makes no difference to me if I get off or not. As long as he is totally satisfied,,thats all that matters.
I feel exactly the same way. I get so into my partner that it’s more about the act and making them feel good. Nothing wrong with being “pleaser.”
Having chemistry with a guy no matter what age is more important to me than cumming, dick size, who’s top, who’s bottom, etc. I don’t base my meetings on performance ever! It sets us up for something that rarely happens. I like to get to know a guy a bit before becoming intimate and if I feel some chemistry, then we’re off to a great start!
sex is all about the orgasm. duh. most of you older guys are just saying this stuff to placate yourselves. when i’m fucking, i want to cum. the worst thing a bottom can say to me is, “don’t cum yet.” i cum anyway
Most of the comments here, I find, are demonstrative of very narrow thinking. I had a fellow to ask me once, are you a fisherman. I related to him that I never had much luck fishing. He then asked me if I baited a hook; I replied yes. Another question came: Did you put the hook and bait in the water? Yes, I responded. He said, I have read the rule book on the subject of fishing, and I cannot find any statement that one had to catch a fish.
I was glad that I could qualify myself as a fisherman!
Am I a lover? Well, I go through the necessary actions. If I leave out one of the steps, does that make me not a lover, even though I saw my lover have a glorious orgasm after which he held me tighter and said, “That was wonderful; thank you! You were terrific!” Everything that I did was fulfilling to me, and satisfied me. Can you exclude me from the ranks of being a lover?
I would say it truly depends on the situation. For example, is this with a partner or during a hookup? If it is with a partner or FWB, it definitely is more of the sex act. In a random hookup, I find its usually more about the orgasm. However, for myself personally, I am a bottom and I always want to make sure the top achieves orgasm FIRST since they typically do all the work, unless then, if he’s a great top, I may just get off first before he does! hehe!!
My pleasure always comes in seeing my man blow his load sky high! And that’s one huge reason why I LOVE a younger man.
Last year, I was privileged to meet a young college student. He was 20; I was 50. I had already had some fun for the evening and was getting ready to leave when he texted me and wanted to drop by. I said sure and invited him to drop by for a while.
He showed up and had a great smile on his face like he was so pleased to meet me! We talked and I could sense that he was incredibly nervous. So we just talked and I helped him relax.
But when I wrapped my arms around his chest and started kissing that spot RIGHT THERE on his neck, he went hard instantly and never lost his erection for the 2 hours we were together.
I took my time working with him, undressing in stages until we had everything off. I sucked him, he sucked me, then we 69’d each other. And being able to eat his ass out good and deep while he moaned deeply was so invigorating! He loved very minute of it.
Well I had nothing left to give, but I asked if he wanted to top me. You see, I get weak in the knees for young men and can easily go on my back for them. He said sure. I explained how I wanted him to penetrate me. He followed my instructions to the letter.
The look on his face? PRICELESS! Such a beautiful expression as he put 7″ of rock hard cock deeeep up my ass and watched it going in and out…MMMMMMMMMM!
But to finish our time, I sucked him one last time. Damn did he shoot! It went up to the top of his chest and almost hit his neck. A SHOOTER! I saw him blow that load and it was wonderful.
Did I shoot? Regrettably no, but that was fine with me. Seeing him get all the pleasure brought extreme pleasure to me. Even more pleasurable was that I was his very first man to have intimacy with, and his very first bottom. And NOTHING will take that away!
So which is more important: the orgasm or the sex act? I like to see both happen. For my young man, I want him to shoot. But I also want him to feel the incredible intimacy we can share in the act itself. I think young men need to see that there’s nothing creepy about what a real man who has experience does when they’re together. If he gets off, that’s what I want to see. But for me, it’s the act.
And with the experience I related above, he’ll never forget that!
Hmm, judging by the title, I thought this post was more about the black and white of sex between older and younger guys. Didn’t expect it to center on if orgasm during sex is important or not.
Regardless, this post gives me some new perspective. For me, sexual activities have been about the orgasm, not intimacy. I’m twenty-five and have been fooling around with a guy in his forties. I’m strictly a top and he’s strictly a bottom. We’ve had sex once during which he didn’t orgasm at all while I did. I equate orgasm to a successful sexual encounter, but he talks all the time about how much he enjoyed our romp and I can see it in his eyes. This was always a puzzle to me
This past weekend however, I had a first. Things got hot and heavy between us: rubbing all over each other. Both of us got hard, so I began to jerk him. I got him to blow his load as well as bring him to orgasm. We both had to take a piss, so that ended the moment before it was my turn, but I was just fine with him reaching climax and not me. That’s new to me.
First off, just a note to all the responders who find it necessary to post mini-porn stories with ridiculous cock sizes, sessions that go on for hours, effortless seductions, etc.: I immediately skip over your responses as the transparent, self-aggrandizing fiction that they are and I hope anyone else reading these blogs with the intention of actually gaining any insight does the same.
Next, what on earth has cumming or not as a measure of whether an encounter is pleasurable really got to do with age? Yes, it’s potentially a factor relative to whether or not orgasm is *possible,* but your question is adding a parameter that’s actually fodder for an entirely different discussion and entirely irrelevant to the “cumming” issue.
That said, as several other posters have noted, you answered your own question: sometimes it’s simply just as hot to know the *other* guy came and sometimes YOU are that *other* guy. I don’t have to cum every time but I recognize that sometimes it’s a drag for the other guy if I don’t, particularly if he doesn’t cum either.
And if we need to throw the age thing in there, let’s be honest: if the other guy is younger than you, as far as he’s concerned, as long as he gets off, 9 times out of 10 he’s not gonna give a rat’s ass if you do or not.
I’m 45 now..practically lived my gay life…in my 20’s lived in San-Diego CA in the Navy ..was a whore ..any man anytime and anywhere..at that time I had sex with older men..in fact one became my partner and he was 20 years older …looking back…I or my role was to get him to climax…it wasn’t about the two of us… I believe older men just want to get off and fantisize that a younger dude is attracted to them ..do I believe that I shouldn’t get off as long as my partner does…no.no…no…if a partner is …is…is…a partner…doesn’t matter who gets off first…but by golly miss mighty.,,,,your damn straight gonna get me off too…what’s the point if we can’t mutually enjoy each other…unless your straying like a cat…when the mice play……..understood that in other ways he may turn u on… But if he’s cumming I am too or otherwise I’m going….just saying…lol
Marc (response #2):
Where exactly is this Fuck Island you speak of? GPS coordinates, please!
I’m 20 and I’d say it’s more satisfying seeing your partner cum rather than yourself. I have the same problem but my was from abusing prescription pills and hell I’m even lucky to get it up anymore. Suckssssssssss!
I love the act of sex, if there is an orgasm or not, the act of sex is A M A Z I N G!
The best sex I have ever had is with a guy 15 years my junior. We connected on every level. He can make me cum by just fucking my ass; no cock stroking is necessary. I enjoy having his cock inside me. I enjoy the fuck!
It’s the journey, not the destination. Getting there is 3/4 of the fun 🙂
Personally, for me, I derive pleasure from pleasuring my man. So once he’s satisfied I’m satisfied and don’t necessary have to cum. Like you, I tend to take a while to cum so I’ve had many a session where my man (younger than me) cums multiple times before I cum the first time, or not at all, yet I’m completely satisfied.
The orgasm. Yes, we all want intimacy and a connection, but when it comes to ‘i’m horny and want sex’ it’s the orgasm. Deny it all you want, but let’s be real here– it’s the orgasm.
So, I’m 25 yrs old. But since I can remember (17 yrs old) I have always fantasizes in my head, to be able to provide sexual satisfaction to a married or straight man. Always fantasizes in being a sex object to a man who doesn’t particularly find men attractive but wants the sex with no strings. I wanted to always get them off and whn I did so, it was like ‘signing the deal’ meaning that I got what I wanted.. Even at such a young age. To turn on a man hard and have him shoot his load, ESP when he’s a first timer and or married was it for me. SO for me was the fantasy if having that man naked and me sucking him or him fucking me.. (Did my teacher, family friend, news anchor, lawyer, And one politician) among others. But it was I wanted to see them cum. Provide something they fantasizes about or thought about. ESP since I can DEEPTHROAT just about any sized cock. They for get that w women much.