Gay Stuff : Scripted Sex
We all know the routine: you are on A4A looking for Mr. Rightnow when you spot a cutie down column three. You read his profile, pretty standard: into fucking, sucking, rimming light kink. So you get in touch and you ask what he is looking for tonight. He tells you to read his profile.
Here’s the deal, yes his profile does say, fucking, sucking rimming but what does he want to do tonight? I mean are we reading from a script?
–3 minutes for kissing. Don’t forget to look passionately into his eyes
–5 minutes for body contact (I never understood this one)
–7 minutes for oral sex (you giving of course, which we could include sucking his dick while he eats your ass, let’s make this 10 minutes)
–7 minutes for fucking but allow up to 15 if kissing is involved.
–throw in a couple minutes for nip play and a cuddle when it’s all over and your profile is complete
If we get off doing one or the other and don’t get to the next one will we be asked back? What about the light kink?
WHY WOULD I WANT TO PUT EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT IN THE CONTEXT OF MY PROFILE. I KNOW THIS IS A SEX SITE. HAVE SOME CLASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You must have been really hard up for a topic. None of this has ever happened to me and if some idiot did bother to go into all of that clap-trap I would just tell him I’m not interested in him and move on.
I agree. Profiles are not updated on this site and often times don’t represent what the person is looking for or in the mood for. Versatile means liking to fuck and be fucked – so it should depend on your mood. Oral…giving or receiving or both? Yet, dudes get put off when you ask them questions. Either be clear – I want you to fuck me or I want to fuck you or don’t be surprised if a few questions are asked. Saves the embarrassing moment of two tops wanting to fuck and having no bottom to fuck. Akward!
My guess he’s not interested in you…get over it. And why, if you’re initiating, do you demand to know what he’s looking for? You’re initiating, tell him you’re interested and what you’re looking for and see what happens.
I find personally most gay men make a wannabe connection so damn complicated, by the time you make the connection (if you do make a connection)online, one needs a power nap to keep the date lol
It does seem pretty routine. Almost every time you chat with a new guy and ask him “whats up” or “what you up to”, he’ll probably reply with “nothing much”. Am I right, girls? 🙂 LOL
Great article! Totes agree. Did you mean ‘can’ instead of ‘and’ in ‘Mr. Rightnow and pick…”
Cheers
“Scripted” AKA ‘Mechanical Sex’. Guys have programmed themselves and pigeonholed themselves into such “strict parameters” that they don’t know what the fuck they’re looking for sexually these days…..
Why can’t guys just go with the flow and get rid of the ridiculous labels that the “gay community” was attempting to eschew in the first place.
Reading some bios on here is ridiculously funny (or sad, depending on your philosophical bent) and the “pictures” from eons gone by are just as incinerating…..
Seems that gay men have gotten awfully good a “being professional liars”. Very sad……………
I have not experienced “Scripted Sex”. What I have seen are, I am a top only… bottom only… want to dominate or be dominated. I am looking for someone to have a mutually enjoyable sexual encounter with. I just want it to feel good and enjoyable for all. Don’t want to beat you up or piss on you. I want to cuddle, rub and have sex with you.
If a person responds that way, I think he just spared you both.
I put what I like in my profile. When someone asks what I’m into, it just makes me wonder if they read anything in my profile at all. Very seldom does some ask, “what are you looking to do *tonight*”. I won’t be an asshole and tell them to reread my profile.
When I put what I like in my profile, those are the things I’m into. It isn’t a script, it’s to find and/or attract people with the same sexual idiosyncrasies. If you’re into them as well, hit me up. If not, don’t. Regardless, the content of the sex and its duration isn’t anything that can be gleamed from a profile.
I disagree. Two things I hate the most is being asked “What are you into” and “what are you looking for” Dude, I could see if my profile is left blank, but when I take my time to write a descriptive profile, don’t ask me what I am into or what im looking for. By me telling you in my profile that I am a top, is enough for you to assume I am into ass and that I want ass when I am looking. And yes, you can assume I like eating ass too (better be clean though)and you also can assume I AM NOT into sucking dicks at all. One more thing, if you want to get with me don’t offer more a simple bj without your ass being on the table. It is a pain to go through the motion, and then when you are about to meet, they ask you are you okay with just a bj. Damn, go to a rest stop for that. I am not getting a room for just a blow job.
I’ve yet to see a profile listing “This is exactly what I want, in this order” as you’re alleging here, so I’m not sure what is triggering this post. That being said: I feel it is acceptable for someone to ask “what are you looking for at the moment,” but completely ridiculous to ask “what kind of guys are you into” when your profile answers that specifically. So for anyone who may receive a “read my fucking profile” as a response, I think it’s safe to assume that they are not telling you to study their scripted sex routine but, more likely, pointing out that you obviously haven’t even bothered to read their profile before delivering the perfunctory “hey man, what are you looking for?”
I, for one, have a pretty broad range of what I find “sexy” and that changes from time to time, during which I change my profile accordingly. My profile happens to state “I’m not into random groups” and yet I often get invited to join a group of random guys. I tend to be polite and cut/paste “I’m not into random groups” but I feel I have every right to ignore them all together. It’s not like the profiles on here are thousands of words long. My philosophy, for whatever it’s worth: If you’re too impatient to get through a 500 character profile, there’s no way you are going to be good in bed. Ok, except for you random hot Latin guys that hit me up, explaining you do not read English very well. Hot is hot, in any language, so we’ll find a way to work something out. 🙂
I guess some guys are into a routine where they do exactly the same thing every time they have sex no matter who it is with. While there are a couple of things that I would like to do each and every time (getting fucked) other things depend on my mood, his mood etc. When someone says “read my profile” and something is vague, tell them you did read it and ask them…what do you mean by “light kink”? Some things like kink, mean so many things to so many people. For some, it is kinky to have sex with the lights on (or off). For others it is more extreme like BDSM etc.
Scripted or unscripted its sex, enjoying the act and the company providing it should be enough. If there are that many conditions it can spoil the moment, just relax and enjoy the ride at least.
Too Funny!. I have had guys say they feel like a bottom tonight and then the next morning they feel like a top. Hard to know what a guy is at any given time. I expect to get fucked at some point or I don’t feel right about the whole thing. I can just let the rest happen. I don’t like a scrip and I don’t like the same old sex all the time either. Keep going this Blog. I think it helps guys to talk about all this.
I hate guys that do that. I like to have nature take it’s course and we have sex going by our mood.
Maybe it’s just me, but actually the “sex’ only goes for about half an hour, tops. Making love can go for longer being creative and all. We all have a script we go by in our love making sessions and fantasies.
As far as profiles (A4A, etc), seems to be just words that nobody reads are understands. I’ve gotten hook up inboxes even tho my profile states many direct things (age/in tos, etc)…..but still. And hen when you email back and forthe, it’s all about a hook up or asking the questions I answer in my profile………RIGHT THERE I’M PUT OFF with this person!
For me the script is THE PROFILE, be true to it and don’t put anything in there that isn’t you, about you, for you. OH, I did peep your profile but you’re not my type, so I’ll kust flip you off !!!!!!!!!
I’m just sayin’ :-/
Thank god I’ve never had or heard of scripted sex. After reading this I realized a few people were trying to do it to me over the years which is maybe why I sent them on their way. I’m not a machine, but I do expect someone to read my profile and not ask questions I have already taken time to explain.
I think if your thinking this much about whats gonna happen and you have it down to a T (scripted) You are fucking boring , and possibly on drugs and having way to much boring sex!! Sex is not a bad thing , and shouldn’t be boring. Have fun , live and have great sex, interesting sex, crazy sex , in the moment sex!! Just be safe… Love life!! Sex is a gift from. from your GOD.
Peace& Love
That pretty well descirbes the “once and done” hookup where both parties have their short term needs taken care of. But all in all they’re empty experiences. Such encounters rarely set the stage for another meeting. Thet’re much like sex ordered up through the drive-thru: quick, fast, and easy, but when all was said and done, all was done and over.
The process gets fuller results when more time is spent on the front end chating to get to know each other. Much of that is easy:
What’s soemthing about their profiles that’s ineresting, unique, and leads to conversation?
What part of town is each guy from?
What are their professions?
Are they native to the area or did they move in? If they moved in, what prompted the move?
What do they do in their spare time?
Beyond that, there can be some discussion about local events.
If that discussion was easy, then of course there’s “so what do you like?” and the party begins. But all the discussion prior let’s the guys do some exploring of each other, mental exploring that gives them an idea of if Mr. Hottie is a Once-and-done Wonder or a a potential Do Agaain and Again Bud.
Don’t get me wrong, sonetimes a once-and-done is fun. That in itself can be a discuion point. But presenting yourself as being a guy looking for buds to do again and again results you you getting buds you share share multiple menus with over time, not just the standard scripted one.
It’s not clear whether you want or don’t want a script.
First you complain about a guy (apparently) wanting to “go with the flow”.
Then you mock the idea of having a play-by-play plan.
Then you say you want to pick what you want like his profile is a menu.
So which is it? Really really not clear.
Who should have an agenda for sex? Me: I like to go at it. Making out with a hot guy, to me, encompasses everything- kissing, nip play, sucking, etc. Never did like quickies.
Excellent post and humorous as well. Depending on the mood and the connection I might be up for “more” or “less”. We all can vary from moment to moment. Nice to know each other’s non negotiable limits and minimal expectations in the moment and then play it by ear as an actual human connection is made.
I agree! Sometimes it is like you are applying for a job interview or something. All of the do’s and don’ts …After awhile I lose interest and even if he is half hot and good looking that kind of messed up the moment for me. Then no matter how well endowed the guy is or how handsome he just seems kind of shallow and a robot and not human anyways. best to you all in surfing the site.
1st, I cannot believe that someone actually gets paid to write the drivel that is published on this blog.
2nd, Re: Leo’s point vis a vis: “what’s up?” “not much”…. asking what’s up is such an effortless introduction it offers no motivation to the recipient to give a detailed response, unlike say: “I checked out your profile and think your a total babe, I want to do you asap, so what’s up tonight?” you are way less likely to get a “not much” reply to a message like that.
…as soon as a guy asks ‘what are you into’ or any kind of broad, redundant question then I simply stop responding. If he can’t comprehend my profile, or hasn’t taken the time to read, then it’s going to be a waste of time anyways. Lots of unconfident or players out there. In fact if I include too much detail it seems to elicit more questions. I pretty well know right away if I’m going to click with a guy or not. If a guy needs lots of chat, primers, props, gear, drugs etc then it takes away from the spontaneity of what could happen between us. If you’re horny just show up and see where we take it. I may block him as a management tool so I don’t stumble over his profile again uncertain.
As my profile says I’m vers, then I mean that: I will fuck or get fucked. If I happen to be in the mood for something specific as well then I’ll express that.
thanks for the great comments. for me its more of a connection thing. once you have the connection let nature take its course
Scripted sex doesn’t work unless, of course, you’re filming a porn video. I’m sure they even take several takes to get it just right. Sex is to be fun and in the moment. Who wants to really be getting into sucking some big fat cock only to be told it’s time to stop and move on to something else?
Well I guess there are some odd-balls out there, but then it’s gay-life so why should I be surprised. Luckily I have never had one of those scripted types message me. I have had the “what are you into” bit before, but that was because they didn’t bother to read my profile first and I speculate they just saw my photo and allowed their superficiality rule them.
As for what I enjoy sexually; it’s listed in my profile, but it doesn’t mean I have to do all of it, just that they can choose what they like and we can do that. If it’s good for both of us we can always meet up again and do the other stuff. I’m also not moody about my sexual likings, I can do any of those things, at any time as long as I’m in the mood for sex.
I also have that I am interested in making friends in my profile and I only meet up with those who show they have that same interest in common. Sometimes a guy won’t interest me at all sexually, (and I’ll tell them) but if they are nice enough guys who I’ll give a shot at becoming friends with them if they like. I have met some really nice guys on here, who have become really good friends. Some I have repeat sex with and others I don’t have sex with at all.
The creepiest thing about this site is in the “Last View” option, seeing that the same people, often those who I’ve turned down, some I didn’t message back and others I’ve never heard from keep checking out my profile over and over, like they are visually stalking me or something. I guess I could just use the “Block” option, but I never have before since I’ve never had any problems that were serious enough to call for it.
I don’t feel that there is anything all that special about myself, but I guess I just have good luck on here seeing how so many others always seem to be complaining about this site and the other guys who use it.
It seems to me like alot of guys want their profile broad spectrum so as to appeal to as many types as they can. Maybe they don’t want to miss out on something. But if you are into a hundred different things are you really into all 100 at the same time on any given day?
There’s nothing wrong in asking what someone wants at that moment. Some of the guys into 100 things seem to expect you to walk in and know EXACTLY what’s on their mind. When it doesn’t happen in the first 6 minutes they are complaining that there is no chemistry. Did you let anyone know or are we expected to be mind readers?
Don’t blame others for your lack of communication or false advertising. And for all the 6 minute chemists – go sit on a test tube or a bunson burner.
Never make plans with a guys i hook with on any of these sites whatever happens, happens
This reminds me of the old saying, those who can DO, those who can’t get off merely typing about it on websites.
I hate when dudes ask me some of those questions, but what irritates me the most is when a dude, expects me to come out for a just a damn blowjob, thats a waste of fucking gas, I would rather jackoff, then drive 30 minutes for a damn bj
Newsflash:
While we may like to see ourselves as sexual innovators (with society seeing us as deviants) most guys have the same routine and vanilla sex.
So if he says those things on his profile, and you come over with your trusty old shittin’ table, don’t be surprised if he slams the door in your face.
Sometime guys put down one thing but expect another.
They put down that they looking for friendship and/ or relationship
But then they are advertising their family jewels.
Or they don’t know how to be a friend.
Most people don’t read profiles or choose to ignore them. My pet peeves are you asking for a pic and you don’t have one, showing private parts then saying it’s not about sex and knowing you are not what the person is looking for but you hit them up anyway.
Sorry …but I find most profiles on here to be so phoney and selfish it spoils everything period ! A man is a man and gays are well versed at being egotistical, mean and just plain ugly to others. How about starting with respect and just let it ride for what it is. If a person says relationship and friendship…thats what it means…1 on 1 thats what it means…but first and foremost lets get rid of attitude and lies…THAT IS ONE FACTOR that has given gays a bad name. We are our own worst enemy…PERIOD. And no this can be a site for everyone…not just sex..like so many are quick to chastize when they hit you up and you say I am looking for a REAL man and a boyfriend… CRAZY SELF CENTERED ATTITUDES on a regular basis. SAD !! A gay man is no different than any other man or person. Act like a human being first.
This topic could not be close to home..I am often turned off by 21 questions and none of them about us..scripted sex…why bother..it’s been my hope that I would meet a guy. And we explore each other.. I don’t label my self as any thing cause I’m not..if the guy turn me on and we get to ass then we do..so many guys have this program running in there heads of the hot guy they really are looking for the brads, jakes,etc they over look the man in front of them..
I’m also tired of guys with very specific expectations. Need me to come while fucking them (in a condom); want their ass ate deep (not a hot ass, sorry); insist on chewing on my nipples…. Half the time I feel like a volunteer escort. Granted, I do traffic on having a big dick … Lol
If there’s one thing I hate, when I ask someone a question & their response is “read my profile”. It’s called making conversation. Yes I read ur profile, doesn’t mean I memorized it!
I don’t like too many personal questions. But, I do not always want to fuck or be fucked just because I’m versatile. If it is a daytime hookup I may not be able to shower afterward or get clean before. So, I do like to know if fucking is on the agenda. My biggest peeve are the relentless emails and waiting. If you’re not gonna hookup stop playing games. It’s a huge time waster
Maybe what he’s “looking for tonight” is what is listed in his profile as what he’s looking for. How thick can you get?
i love sucking dick…so far no complaints…once in a while I bottom cause the guy really wants to have me…but most guys are quite happy with my bj’s & cum back for more
@ Jose
Just because a guy has interested in “friendship” and or “relationship” in his profile does not mean he wants those things with you or just anyone who happens to send him a message nor does it mean he’s committed to be sexually abstinent and not have any fun during the time he’s looking for others who have things in common with him to be friends or more with.
You guys who come on these sites expecting to find the love of your life are in the wrong place for the most part. Sure it can happen now and then, but sites like this are geared more toward one night hookups than anything else and it’s not going to change just because someone whines about guys on here not wanting to be what others want them to be.
It’s plain common sense that a whorehouse is the worst place to look for true love. Find or create a gay website that is only for the purpose of making friends and finding Mr. Right if that’s what you really want.
The main reason why so many gay guys who are looking for love have so much trouble trying to find it is because they are looking and expecting to find it in the wrong places. These kind of people probably go to auto parts stores and complain because they can’t find anything there to match their drapes lol!
I think it’s nice to know what each other is looking for in a person & sexual activities, but the actual event should just be left up to nature to control. If something is great, continue doing it. If not, move on to something else. What happens happens.
im sorry to say i dont care for smilies or one word greetings at all..i find it hard to say something back unless its original and with more personal character than a caveman grunt. i always send a meaningful message when im interested in someone and its usually a thought out msg that gets to the point, of really being interested and breaking the ice. i hate having to have the burden of discovering the intent and interest level of someone so incapable of writing even just one simple sentence, it just maxes out my boredom meter and sometimes ill blast them with a message saying so.
you want my attention..be real be original and give it some thought beyond ” hi” (my dick is hard)…