Health : You’re Safe -Trust Me! I’m D&D Free
Two of the most popular blog posts in the last year (“Would you tell?” and “HIV status in profile, what’s yours?“) involve disclosing your HIV status. Many of the 300 comments were passionate about whether or not you can (or should) trust someone’s negative HIV status on A4A.
Obviously, everyone has the opinion to disclose one’s HIV status and STD test results or not and it is an individual choice, each option (to tell or not to tell) has a justifiable argument. But the bottom line is that no matter what someone puts in their profile you have no choice but to take them at their word. Well, maybe this can change.
Would you take the time to verify someone’s HIV and STD test results if you could? Would you make your test results publicly available? Well, let me introduce you to Qpid.me!
Qpid.me independently confirms your HIV/STD status (and viral load if you are HIV+) with your doctor and/or clinic, then lets you share your status in ways that you choose. Quoting them: “Our goal is simple: to help you make better decisions about who and how you have sex.”
How does it work?
* You get tested wherever you want (or have already been tested within the last year)
* You sign-up at Qpid.me (they then fax your clinic/doctor to confirm your results)
* You share your results however you want (what about putting a link to them on your A4A profile?)
What do they confirm?
* HIV status and 3 curable STDS: chlamydia, gonorrhea, & syphilis
* If you’re HIV positive, your viral load is confirmed
* Herpes and HPV are not part of the results confirmed
Qpid.me is a currently a FREE service, their simple desire is to “help spread the love, nothing else”.
What do you think, would you post your STD/HIV test results?
Would you be willing to bareback with someone if they posted their HIV/STD test results?
How often would someone need to be tested for you to really trust their test results?
Would have someone’s test results available on their profile be something you would like to see?
Stephan
I think it’s not a bad idea for those who wish to sign up for the service, but always remember that there’s a window period of up to 6 months (occasionally more) between infection and a positive test result, so a negative test result “within the last year” does not necessarily mean that the guy is negative.
So I guess my answers are:
Yes, I’d post my results.
No, I would not bareback with someone who posted their results.
I’d never “really” trust their test results for the reasons mentioned above. When it comes to casual sex I will always minimze risk and assume that a partner MIGHT be infected.
But yeah, I’d like to see test results posted. For one thing, seeing that other people are getting tested encourages the viewer to get tested.
Just out of curiosity, why would herpes not be included?
Great idea, go for it, i’ll be the first
WOW, its quite interesting that when you post something about health, no one responds to it.
Btw Qpid.com not a bad idea. I would really like that.
Apart from that:
NO TO BAREBACK.
I DONT MIND SHARING RESULTS WITH EVERYONE, Atleast it will keep them safe,
Also i would love to see their results before doing anything.
Moreover, getting tested is not a bad thing, if you can catch the virus earlier than you can live healthy life and then live longer.
* “Catch” in a sense, in the test results. lol
always assume that a guy i pos. or he dosen’t know his satus [and no on can be 100 % sure he isn’t if he hasn’t been tested any many don’t ever get tested] don’t be stupid, use protection , dostn’t make that much difference. i should know i’ve had it both ways. no “love” without the glove !
To be on the safe side, have sex with everyone as though they were HIV positive. That way if they are positive they would not get any other infectious desease since their imune system is compromised and if you are negative, you want to remain negative. That way the spread of the desease will be stopped.
Personally if a “prospect” declines to answer or says “don’t know” about their status I assume they could be HIV+. The same applies if they say “anything goes” in response to their preferences. The qPid index sounds better suited to those seeking a LTR since most hookups are more casual in nature, even if the risk is the same.
I’ve no problem with it, but probably gives a false sense of security more than anything else. ~50% of HIV transmission occurs from people who are acutely infected, before they develop antibodies or test positive (with standard screening tests). You’re probably about as safe–maybe even safer–with someone known HIV+ with an undetectable viral load than some completely random guy claiming to be negative, who could be recently infected and have 7 log10 viral load. Of course, celibacy aside, a monogamous known HIV- partner would be safest.
Actually, with current testing methodologies, the “window period” is about 4-6 weeks, not 6 months. Current tests look for HIV capsid antigens and human anti-HIV antibodies, greatly decreasing the latency. (Which is cool)
Still, though, there is a window. And frankly, HIV isn’t something I want to gamble on.
I think this is a good idea. It allows people to meet and have a great time without wondering or worrying. However, I hope people don’t just start having unprotected sex just because of one test result. For those of you who are unaware. HIV maybe undetected for atleast 3months. It is very important to be responsible and be tested every 3months if you’re sexually active. Like the saying goes “knowing is half the battle.”
Have fun, be safe!
PK
I wish I had read vafratboy blog before commenting…lol. Virtually the same thing. Sorry Vafratboy…. I agree.
PK
Following up with Vafratboy, this is not a good idea, for the reasons he mentions – it just gives guys false security. Someone gets a neg test (as VFB says, that’s not even 100%) and then goes out that night and gets infected with HIV or a STD. So much for the Qpid.me status. And you have a whole year of activity before testing with them again. What is Qpid.me proving with this? Are they saying that just because they confirm a guy neg (at one given time) you can change behavior you already know? I can’t see any value in this whatsoever since it proves nothing and gives a false sense of security. Posting staus with them shouldn’t make any more difference than the current sel-posting.
I get tested twice a year at my local health department and always carry my test results in my wallet to prove my status…anyway system that we can use to promote testing is a positive step as far as i’m concerned.
Fratboy is correct. I was false negative & infectious for 14 months before I tested positive after my known exposure. An HIV Test is only good for the day it was drawn.
i think it is confidential and nobody needs to know ones status. poz or neg. when you have sex with someone, assume they are poz and take precautions.
I always have my written test results with me and never hide my status so if you’re honest about it you really don’t nee danything else but the website is a good idea…
This has to be the stupidest shit I’ve ever seen. Why don’t you just leave a DNA sample at the CIA on your way?
Factually, if you want to act as if everyone is HIV poz when you have sex, that’s cool. If you don’t want to, then don’t. But basic respect should dictate how you deal with other people, not some ‘verified’ status from an internet service that will now own the right to possess some of your most personal information.
And, just to get this off my chest–in no way does “clean” = healthy. That such fucking disrespectful terminology to use (what, people with a virus are “dirty”?) that you deserve whatever shit comes your way–you fuck with Dharma and sister Karma will take care of you.
as much as guys LIE about things online…you should NEVER take them for their word.
I’d echo the concern that VAfratboy raises. Although rapid tests are becoming more accurate the window period is still a very real phenomenon. More importantly, it is when people’s viral loads are at their highest, which makes sexual encounters much more dangerous. My worry is that people that don’t have that information will assume that a test is 100% foolproof and engage in unsafe behavior. Essentially people should never bareback unless they are in 100% commited monogamous relationship with a partner that they trust. Even that can be dangerous (and there’s always stories of people becoming infected, even in that setting). The reality is that almost 20-30% of men who have sex with men are HIV+ in some communities, specially those who have annonimous NSA sex. In those settings using a condom seems like a must, because there is a real chance that a person that is having unsafe sex with you is having unsafe sex with someone else….
I agree with the above. There are SO MANY GUYS I have chatted with online through the years and it is often the same response: disease and drug free. NOT EVERYONE CAN BE DISEASE AND DRUG FREE. Some people aren’t disclosing the truth. I think part of the problem lies within the stereo type of “People won’t like me” or the inevitable “You can’t have fun with a condom” attitude.
Personally I have had just as much fun with the condom. It, of course, still feels the best to bareback but that would have to be with a long-time trusted partner. Nowadays we are living in a society where trust can be hard to find. I’d be willing to share my results. I would know how accurate mine…would you know yours though? Hmmmm? Think about it….
tois bettertpo safe then sorry and get some thing that you really dont want , now days ti really hardto tell fi some one is hiv negetaive that if thay have some other std that why would some lie about there std stats to me that like playingwith fire big time tis better to asuume ever one had some thing aand pottect your selfs boy who a rubber
I think this is a GREAT idea. I know my ex told me he was negative but one night he wanted a 3-way. I had met the guy he wanted the 3-way with and really didn’t like him because this guy had a reputation of being a slut. To make a long story short, one night I came home early and found my ex barebacking with this guy.
We IMMEDIATELY broke up and I went and got tested the next day, and again 6 months later.
As for the bareback question. It would help knowing the guys status, but unless he had been tested recently, I still don’t think I would. Who knows who they slept with since they were tested ….. but this might also help because if they said they only slept with guys who were registered and tested negative ….. but then again, it is the TRUST issue and believing that what they tell you is true
This is most definitely a step in the right direction, although it doesn’t quite reach that “100% safe” level we all yearn for. I’m a firm believer that an excellent way to cut the infection rate by a significant margin would be to streamline testing services to make them more convenient and discreet. As a guy who group up in a small, boring town in California, I can relate to the fact that some people just avoid being tested due to inaccessibility. The closest testing clinic to me that’s worth a visit is 60 miles away.
If a portable, affordable testing kit was available (just as you see with pregnancy tests), it wouldn’t eliminate the epidemic, but it would certainly tame it and possibly save a good amount of lives. There will always be a population of people who ignorantly and irresponsibly bareback with strangers (I don’t know if they’re nihilists or if they’re just stupid, but they represent the cause of today’s high infection rates), but people who are more careful and cognizant, which I’m hoping is the bigger population, would consider something like this to be a godsend.
Anyway, back to the topic, here are my answers:
-Yes, I would post my results, even if I were positive. People who are not honest about their statuses and thus infect new people are part of the reason are community is stigmatized the world over.
-No, I would not abandon protection just on the basis that someone’s qpid.me shows a negative test – not just because HIV’s six-month window, but because of the fact they don’t include many other devastating STD’s in their tests.
-This depends entirely upon the person. If they have a reasonable amount of direction in their lives, and I’ve met them and they appear to be responsible and enlightened individuals, I wouldn’t necessarily need them to undergo a battery of tests just to prove they’re HIV-negative. I still won’t fuck them bare, though.
-I would love to see qpid.me somehow get implemented into A4A’s system just for extra assurance. Responsible people like me would use and love this type of legitimized system.
There is no justifiable position when it comes to being HIV+ and not disclosing that information in your profile! I’m sorry, but anyone who knowingly withholds that kind of information is a fucking asshole and they deserve AIDS!
Correction to the above:
“-Yes, I would post my results, even if I were positive. People who are not honest about their statuses and thus infect new people are part of the reason our* community is stigmatized the world over.”
I think its a horrible idea.. having “proof” of test results is just going to encourage hiv negative people bareback more often with strangers.. and we all know a bout the window peirod.. and poz guys are gonna bareback with eachother nomatter what the v load is..
Are you kidding?
It starts like this and then the government see an opportunity to sells it to congress and Big Brother they start herding us in for forced testing and while we’re at it lets take DNA samples as well!
I’d never trust any results posted on this site ,when it comes to this matter I can only trust myself .
I HAVE HEARD SO MANY MIND BLOWING NUMBERS ABOUT THE IGNORANT PEOPLE WHO DO NOT TREAT THE VIRUS OR ARE IN DENIAL PERSONALLY I THINK IT IS AN INVASION OF MY PRIVACY TO INFORM PEOPLE I THINK IT IS MY RESPONSIBILITY TO IMFORM SOMEONE BEFORE SEXUAL ACTIVITY 30 PERCENT OF PEOPLE INFECTED WITH THE VIRUS ARE MEDICATING AND HAVE IT UNDER CONTROL 20 PERCENT OF PEOPLE INFECTED ARE IN DENIAL AND DO NOT TREAT THE VIRUS MANY PEOPLE ON A4A LIE ABOUT THIER STATS
A4A needs to just completely remove the “HIV” status from the profiles altogether. I see so many guys who are lying about their status or plain just don’t know. Please get rid of it, not even the “Qpid” verified idea is any good, the only way to truly fix this problem is EDUCATION – and responsibility. Help end the HIV stigma now and remove it from the site.
i agree with fratboy 100% had a really good friend (not sexual just friends) that was positive and really respected him in his honesty with others about it he also helped start a free testing and discussion group or support group whatever u wanna call it in our local area i also think that with being honest about it will earn you more respect..and also think that everyone still needs to be aware and safe in there play
I agree with Vafratboy’s comments. The service is a good start, but if you’re considering having sex with a stranger, there’s still a serious risk. (When I was tested recently I was told the window is now 12 weeks — three months instead of six.)
Yes, I’d post my results and would welcome a link with my A4A profile.
No, barebacking with a stranger isn’t very smart behavior, even if he recently tested negative.
If I’m fortunate enough to enter an LTR, I think I’ll wait AT LEAST six months before even considering unprotected sex.
I think this is a bad idea. Not only is the Qpid service unnecessary, it has the potential to be very dangerous for A4A and the larger gay community.
HIV can lay dormant for years before someone tests positive. Just because a man has a link to a negative test on his profile, does not mean they are negative. I think every man who has sex with men should consider that their partners might be positive. Whether or not they want to wear a condom is up to them.
If a service like Qpid (which will no doubt start charging people once the service gets popular, thus becoming another “for profit” organization making money off HIV) then more men will be having unprotected sex under the belief that their partner is negative. This is bad in the long run, and for obvious reasons.
Also, any organization claiming that their only goal is to “help spread the love” should not be trusted. Such a flippant attitude toward public health has no place on this site nor anywhere else for that matter.
i agree with you vafratboy i get tested very six months
I know it’s a tough call to reveal your hiv/ sti status, but it is the right thing to do for both you and your partner. How would you feel if someone kept something so very important away from you, and you found out that you didn’t even had a chance to at least decide for yourself. Guys just be up front with eachother, life is too short for that kind of secret.
Hell the f#%k naw to both questions. I would not let some company verify and post my status because there’s too much risks of personal information getting out and being shared in other ways which I might not have agreed to. I’m HIV negative and have no other diseases. If a partner I’ve decided to hookup with wants verification I can show him the letter I get from my doctor’s office I get everytime I’m tested which is every year during my annual physical. I would not bareback either. I protect myself from HIV by limiting my sex partners and playing safe when I do play. Who the f&%k is this company I’m supposed to trust my personal information too? Dem mf’s could be in Russia or India some damn where…or the CIA etc, for all I know.
The underlying logic in your post suggest that the way to avoid HIV or other STDs is to not sleep with anyone that is ‘not clean’.
One should always assume that your casual sex partner is HIV+ and might have another STD. This is why one should always practice safe sex. This was the educational strategy that was used when HIV first surfaced. This labeling is just pushing HIV+ people more underground.
I agree with Vafratboy, I do post my status on my profile, i just got on Dec 1st. I will never meet guys who doesnt know their status
We should all be honest about our status. Furthermore we should all be practicing safer and safe sex until we know for sure the status of our partners. Being POZ is not an obstacle for me and finding partners for sexual encounters. People will put HIV- in their status and have never had a test. You are less likely to get HIV from me, a POZ person who is undetectable, then the next ten people who really do not know their status. Yet I have had people come on here and tell me I should not be allowed to be on A4A and that I am spreading the disease. I have had the same partner for 15 years and he remains neg after all this time, and I have had numerous playmates on the side thru the years, some lasting 15 years as well and they all remain neg. People who do not know their status are the ones most responsible for spreading this disease today. Awareness Education, Prevention, Testing & Treatment as Prevention are paramount in the Stopping of this disease. As far as a test goes you must remember that while most people after exposure will test positive after between 2 and 12 weeks. There is a small percentage of people who will not test positive until the virus has been in their body for 6 months, so to be absolutley sure that you are HIV free, take the test at 6 months after exposure, but feel free to take the test before that; say, at 12 weeks because this fits the time frame for most people to have the virus show up in their blood. Let’s put it this way, if it were me, I would get tested after 12 weeks and again at the 6 month mark. And sexually active people who have had unsafe sex should text regular. If you test positive get on meds… tell your partners, and once you gain undetectable status you are very safe option again. Encourage your friends to test. Not sure I feel the need to have it posted on here… I can present anyone a recent copy of my status that wants to see it:) But if it helps others then I might consider it. Have a healthy sex life, find yourself a compatible partner or partners and play… but play safe:)
Heck yes!!! It’s just one more tool to use in making the decision whether or not to have sex with someone…We need all the tools we can get to fight all std’s….Right now, it’s just someones word. If someone takes the time to post results, it does speak towards their honesty. Is it fool proof? Sadly no. So my answers are:
Yes, I’d post my results.
No, I would never BB….BB is from a bygone time, only to be used now in a trusted committed relationship. Segway to next topic: Does that relationship exist in todays world??
Just signed up!! Very easy…Thanks for the information…this is what we need alot more of…anything to help in the fight. Thx again Stephan.
Yes, I’d post my results.
Yes, I would consider barebacking with someone who posted their results, especially since the FAQ on the Qpid.me website states that someone could look at your full history of results and would presumably see a consist set of negative tests. Then he could weigh that knowledge and make a decision at that point. (Flames and scolding to dev/null — my opinion and my choice.)
Do you trust someone if you see they got tested “X” months ago and haven’t seen anything since? Well, that’s up to the person, isn’t it? But I do like this idea, exactly for the reason that Vafratboy mentioned — it encourages others to get tested. And how is that ever a bad thing?
This is sick
It makes absolutely no sense.
There is enough stupid HIVphobic bollocks on A4A as it is already without adding more misinformed bullshit to the equation!
I already regularly read so many (clearly STD ignorant) men’s profiles saying ‘must be clean’ (meaning anything from ‘HIV-free’ to ‘must wash cock at least 20 times per day’..!
The idea that you can REQUIRE someone to not have any STDs is to ignore the basic fact that NONE OF US CAN KNOW FULLY; either that we ourselves might have picked up a sexually transmitted infection or that the person we’re sleeping with has.
The only way to protect ourselves is to ensure that we do just that: protect OURSELVES – we can do this by wearing a condom when we’re fucking someone or by ensuring that THEY wear a condom if they’re fucking US.
The idea that a website somehow makes us safer is complete and utter bollocks – complete crap.
There are too many if’s & buts to rely on a website’s say-so as to whether we are HIV positive or negative.
After all: we can’t even rely on a website to be fully compatible with our preferred web-browser or to be fully operational 24/7 so why on EARTH would we trust it with something FAR more important than that: our life and our sexual infections history?
Whoever thought of this must be one of the very A4A ignoramuses that I was talking about at the beginning!
This is a great idea. Kudos to whoever came up with this.
Yes, I would post my results. No, I still wouldn’t be barebacking with folks from the internet. This verification system could definitely help, but I’m sure there’s still room for error and inaccuracies. Making this a profile feature would definitely be something I’d be interested in seeing.
Overall, great idea and I hope it catches on.
You can never be 100% sure that the results provided are accurate and that persons and no someone elses.. use a condom no matter what!
I unfortunately have some mental condition that makes me only want to bareback even knowing the risks. I do get tested regularly and am lucky to still be neg. So I recommend to all you guys who do trust guys like me that you should stop. And be sure to wrap it up. You never know who you are meeting and I am the most sane, normal, cute guy you’ll meet at a club (appearance wise), but trust I am so messed up in the head at I know the risks and refuse to wear a condom whether I top or bottom.
WELL I JUST LOOKED AT THE LATEST INFO THAT THE CDC PUBLISHED THIS MONTH AND YES WE ARE LOSING THE BATTLE OF THE SPREADING OF HIV VIRUS.” Almost three out of four people in the United States with HIV do not have their condition under control, according to a new report from the Centers for Disease Control” nearly 1.2 million people have HIV in the U.S about 240,000 don’t know they are infected. I BECAME INFECTED IN MARCH 2007. I ALWAYS GOT TESTED REGULARLY EVER 6-9 MONTHS SO I CAUGHT IT EARLY- MY DOCTOR RECOMMENDED A NEW TEST DRUG SO I JOINED THE STUDY GROUP FOR GILEAD- THE DRUG TRUVADA its 1 tablet a day combination drug,IT HAS SAVED MY LIFE SO FAR,BUT AGAIN IM OFF SUBJECT, MY QUESTION IS TO YOU ADAM4ADAM MANAGEMENT PLEASE START AN SISTER SOCIAL SITE JUST LIKE THIS ONE FOR US THAT ARE POSITIVE BY LOOKING AT THE NUMBERS 1-4
GAY BI OR TRANSGENDER ARE INFECTED IN THE US THERE IS ROOM FOR ANOTHER TYPE OF SOCIAL SITE
Also remember this…if someone is poz and does not disclose it, knowingly has bareback sex and infects someone…they can be brought up on charges in many states. Always post your stats.
Like most profiles on a4a, it’s peppered with bullshit. So why would I trust anyone who posts their HIV status if they’re already lying about their dick size? I get tested every three months, which includes my annual military physical (though testing in the Navy now occurs every two years instead of annually). A common belief about hooking up with military men is that they are automatically assumed to be HIV neg since the military will not allow HIV positive individuals to enlist. It’s true that the military will not accept anyone who is HIV+, however there are many who currently serve that became infected during their active duty status. Unless they are medically discharged, these men and women remain on limited duty status (no overseas deployment or sea tours) and are allowed to serve the remainder of their enlistment. Safest rule to remember is to treat all casual encounters as if they were HIV positive…protect yourself.
Nothing beats getting to know your potential partner(s) and talking to them about thier sexual practices and asking them point-blank questions. If a guy is willing to go on an actual date and spend quality time with you and not necessarily have sex on the first date then you have a good foundation to start with for honest and open communication, which is the most important thing you can have. I feel this is far more reliable than the test verification service U mention because in order for that to really work everyone would have to participate and get tested regularly and have these results posted regularly, and still you would not know about their sexual practices and how they choose their partners. Guys who are just looking for hookups or anonymous sex fit nowhere into this kind of approach because I only talk to guys interested in the potential of dating and ltr’s — this in and of itself mitigates the risk considerably before I even meet them. Frankly in terms of choosing to use protection or not it all comes down to communication, intuition, trust, intimacy and honesty. If I don’t trust my partner enough to be honest with me about all the important factors impacting sexual health then we simply won’t be having ANY sex, protected or otherwise.
No matter what, you should always play safe if you want to steer clear of any STD. I had an incident about 10 months ago where I was having sex with someone who claimed they were negative. The condom broke before climax but no one noticed. He said not to worry that he swore he was negative. I took no chance and went and received the post-exposure prophylactic. 1 month later I get a text message telling me to get tested because he turned out to test positive and his viral load was quite high. I got tested 2 months later and 3 months after and still test negative. Point of the story is you can never take too many precautions. You can’t always take somebodies word due to many factors: window period, false negatives, and liars
This service would totally give a false sense of security and only result in an increase of infection rates.
With someone undergoing acute retroviral syndrome, their viral load is through the roof and wouldn’t decrease until after an immune response is initiated. This can be 2-6 weeks after infection. Presumably, they are also infectious during ARS. Thus if they had unprotected sex and contracted the virus 3 weeks ago, had some flu like symptoms, and then got better, they are likely very contagious, especially since we are seeing that transmission is somewhat correlated to viral load levels.
Taking a year old HIV test, or even a 2 month old one as “proof” so one can engage in unprotected sex is just lulling oneself into a very false sense of security. And let’s face it, this service is going to basically cater to and be most attractive to those negative individuals who want to bareback, but want to delude themselves into thinking they are safe.
Treat EVERYONE as if they are HIV POZ. Avoid any doubt. How long have we known about HIV/AIDS? This shouldnt be an issue anymore anyway, I mean COME ON. Stop being stupid,guys. Unprotected sex is filty to begin with regardless of STD/HIV. You wouldnt lick the inside of someones toilet bowl or drink the water from it,why would you let someone put their germs and bacteria up your ass and into your body anyway?
This would only lead to a sense of false security. Someone can say they are negative and even show you the results from their testing site. However, who is to say they did not leave the testing site and have an encounter that same night and became infected? Who is to say they were not infected 1-2 nights before the test and it is simply too early to show up in the test. Must assume all are positive and use protection, if you choose to forgo the protection you must assume the responsibility if you catch something.
One would have to be out of their mind to share any medical history online with any supposed site. Once it is out of the realm of your doctors office, patient/doctor confidential privilege is out the door. Anyone that is the least bit internet savvy knows once its on the web, its out there. Vafratboy is correct about the window of infection, coupled with the thought that even if both parties are negative, one should still play it safe regardless. Don’t be dumb and trust a website to do your homework for you. Ultimately each one of us is responsible for our own sexual behavior and health…accountability starts and ends with you.
Independent verification of HIV status/viral load is a fantastic idea. It’s another way to convey one’s honesty, which should help foster trust among guys who meet online.
I would agree with the first response (Vafratboy), that barebacking with someone who has been verified as HIV neg is still risky. There is a window period after infection and before antibodies show up on an HIV test.
The only way I would bareback with someone is if there were a commitment to monogamy and multiple testing periods–a baseline, 3 months, and 6 months. That way you’d know your partner is truly HIV negative. Hopefully by month 6 you would know you could trust him to keep his word on monogamy.
When my partner and I were monogamous (for 12 years), we used this approach to establishing that we were both HIV negative. We made a commitment to monogamy, but we expressly committed to telling the other if we had strayed before the next time we had sex. Our commitment that was straying would never put our relationship in jeopardy, but that lying about it would. He strayed a couple of times, and we immediately began using condoms. It did not damage our relationship.
While that is unlikely with more casual encounters, knowing someone’s HIV status and selecting partners based on it is a recognized public health strategy. “Sero-selecting” can actually help reduce the spread of HIV. I can’t quote the source on this, but perhaps this would be a good topic for a blog post.
Thanks for sharing this resource. It’s a great idea.
I agree with Vafratboy, If you wanna play bareback without protection then should be tested. Nowadays results can come back within 24 hours.But keep in mind that even with protection you still not safe after all protection is not always 100% safe.
Now with Aid there no cure but slowing down the process of what it does but other deceases such as Hep B you can get vaccinate against this but you have to ask for it from your local doc or health dept at a small fee.
I believe children when they are born and get there shots, the Hep B shot is included now.
I thought that there is no test for herpes if you have no symptoms. Current antibody tests are accurate to 4-12 weeks. The best thing you can do is get a NAT test which tests for the virus itself. The NAAT has a window of 7 days. NAAT = Nucleic Acid Amplification Test. It uses a PCR process to increase the RNA sample size.
It’s a good idea because it encourages people to test and take responsibility for their health. I would take into consideration a guy who had this information on his profile as it shows maturity and self respect. I would not bareback though and people who would take a negative result as a reason to bareback safely are being foolish and it is foolishness that is the biggest risk factor not information.
BTW- There is no evidence that positive people can continue to test negative past the window period. Any body who says otherwise is just providing anecdotal accounts and not established science.
Let’s just think logically for one second…if you stumbled upon an accident, a complete stranger, the victim bleeding profusely and you had to apply pressure to stop the bleeding, wouldn’t you want to put gloves on first (if they were available)? You’re first thought, whether you admit it or not, is a fear on contracting disease. The reality is, the victim is possibly a monogamous person, who is in a very low risk but we would still want to protect ourselves. The bottom line is gay men, having random sex, which isn’t a bad thing, is a risky thing. So take a moment to protect yourself and assume everyone is infected. Use the same common sense and safe practice during sex as you would that accident scene. Don’t get caught up in the moment and let your guard down!! 😉
Scott I love ur comment !!!
Here’s a question that has puzzled alot of people and that is.
Can you get Hep B, hep c, from swallowing a nut?
Any throughts on this issue?
My best guess is that I was infected on August 6. I was tested on August 9 as part of my routine testing. Of course it was negative. I had a very significant acute HIV stage which prompted me to get tested again on 9/1. The ELISA test came back positive but the WB to confirm was indeterminate as I was still sero-converting. A viral load was done and confirmed my HIV positive status at 7.7 million copies.
I am confidant I did not infect anyone else but I did expose at least one who has since tested negative.
If you BB with casual hook ups then study up on HIV. Learn what you will have because you will become positive. I am!!
And…… why again was my comment edited out?
butchbuttnot: what comment ? no comment were edited out except one from a funny weirdo that was saying that HIV doesnt exist!
It’s a great idea. . .not because the results are credible for the moment due to the 6 mos window from infection to when hiv can show up, but because it shows a pattern of responsible behavior when it comes to one’s sexual practice. Even with someone who shows negative I will always use a condom. But I’d much rather play with someone who gets checked regularly and has some proof (qpid.me). If nothing else it sends the message that when it comes to status, I’m not trying to hide something. Unfortunately, there are those who do. We all may know people who post ‘negative’ when actually ‘positive.’ While complete trust is elusive in the gay world, I’d take a guy who can show me he’s tested negative recently any day over a guy who just tells me that!
This does sound good, but like others said it can give you a false sense of security & the table for infection can be a wide one. Some asked, “why don’t they ask about herpes or hpv?” Well, probably because a herpes test can sometimes be relatively expensive & even then you’d need to know if its on their lips or genitals (type1/type2). Also, with HPV there isn’t really a test for it until someone shows symptoms (warts usually) and these can be very tiny before they may notice. Also, HPV is a very common STD (i think its like 1 in 6 college students)and some people may even carry it, but not be affected and it just runs its course & dies off.
4 little words…NO fucking way….EVER
This is another step in creating a deep division between poz and non-poz people. Many if not most poz people don’t disclose status because 1) it takes 2 to have sex, and both should be responsible about condom use and 2) many if not most non-poz people will not have sex with poz people who disclose. I’m poz and i disclose but only after i meet and i know we’re going to have sex. There’s no reason to disclose publicly. Horrifying to think that guys carry around “proof of negative status” in their wallets. Who are they meeting? What kind of guy would even ask for documentary proof? Jeez
Hey everyone… I’m the developer of Qpid.Me (and an A4A user), and I just wanted to clarify a few things about our service.
I’m in Minneapolis, and my business counterpart is in California. We are not affiliated with the government/CIA/Mafia. We are not based in India or Russia. We will never share your results with anybody else (only the people you want to share your results with). We have no plans of charging you for using this service (that doesn’t really make sense — you’re paying for an assurance your partners are getting… that’s not really a benefit to you, so why would you pay for it?).
We display how long ago you were tested, and your test results expire after a year. When you were tested is a critical piece of the puzzle that is often missing from online profiles and conversations. Obviously, a test yesterday is much more valuable than a test 11 months ago. At the other extreme, I’m sure we all have an ex/date/hookup that says he’s HIV- on his profile, but he’s actually never used condoms before, had multiple partners, and NEVER been tested for HIV. Qpid.me just provides the additional information and confirmation to help you make more informed decisions. It’s not foolproof, but (as Nicebtm4u said) it’s a tool in the toolbox.
We don’t verify herpes or HPV because it’s too difficult to make actionable meaning out of the results (e.g., a positive herpes antibody test doesn’t distinguish between cold sores or genital herpes). We have talked about verifying Hep A and HPV vaccination status, though.
You’ll notice that we NEVER talk about being “clean”. That implies someone with HIV or an STD is “dirty” … and we simply don’t believe that. This is part of the logic behind verifying HIV viral load. HIV-positive people deserve to have sex too. We’re hoping that by allowing people to share their viral load, we can help break down some of the stigma of living with HIV… an undetectable viral load poses much less risk than (as Todd said above) a 7log10 viral load. HIV is no longer a death sentence, and we’re hoping with better education and information, it also won’t be a celibacy sentence either.
The window period has also been brought up a number of times, and is a very important concern. In addition to the result and date of the test, we verify the type of test. So, you can distinguish between an antibody test and a PCR test (much shorter window period).
There were a few accusations that we’re completely against public health. I’m an epidemiologist, have worked in healthcare for more than half my life, and serve as an advisor to a number of public health agencies. But, I also enjoy sex and get tired of having pregnant nurses ask me how often I use condoms (the irony is definitely not lost on me). So, in the spirit of harm reduction and being sex-positive, I joined the Qpid.me team.
Finally, I would like to pose one question to you guys. A lot of people have responded that they treat every potential partner as if they’re poz, or they would never ever bareback. If everyone is doing that, then how are people still getting infected?
I forget to put that i will never ever have BB sex with anyone! only if i am in a serious relationship
Many people say that they consider everyone positive and will therefore have safe sex all the time, but if someone is openly positive, they won’t have safe sex with them. It makes no sense. As someone mentioned earlier, an openly HIV+ person on meds with an undetectable viral load will probably be safer than someone who claims being hiv neg because their test results were negative a few months ago.
As for the qpid site, I think it gives people an option to prove their status at the time of the last test. The timing is important, as the developer said, so this is the best part of the project I believe, but how many people will take this as an open door to barebacking, I don’t know.
What I’d like to know is why hasn’t anybody come up with a reliable instant result home HIV test? I mean how hard could that really be to develop??
I think my comment disappeared, but John, this is a good question. I think most of the people are actually telling the truth, and will always play safe. Those who get infected trusted their partner and gave up on the condom for one night, or they were drunk or something that made them confident. I’ve unfortunately come across some people who asked me if I would bareback even though their profile said safe sex only. And to comment about your site, I think it’s another good opportunity for people to show that they are getting tested regularly, so this is great. The possible downside would be that it could open the door to bareback. As you said, timing is very important, so it’s good that you show the date of the test!
RE: John
Thanks for the background information about yourself and your website.
As for your question, it’s most likely selection bias: the guys who respond to this posting are probably more likely to use condoms than those who have chosen not to respond.
great idea! before i commit to bareback/raw,i have to meet the person face to face. but posted info would go a long way towards commiting to a meeting!!
Rob, to answer your Over the counter HIV testing, I found this from the fda website. It’s from 2006, I’m wondering if there is a more recent study, but this article is interesting showing the pros and cons of OTC HIV Test. There are OTC HIV Tests available outside of the USA, but none that I know in the USA.
http://www.fda.gov/ForConsumers/ByAudience/ForPatientAdvocates/HIVandAIDSActivities/ucm124482.htm
Not sure what I should do about posting it or not, I read once on a magazine that you treat everyone as if everyone is positive then it will make everyone wrap it up
I am poz and i find it completely unnecessary to have results of any “personal” test be posted online. If this really becomes popular, expect HIV rates to get even higher because all this is going to do is have alot of guys thinking that it is safe to bareback just because of some silly link on a profile.
Unless you protect yourself there are high chances that u have contracted an std, doesn’t matter if its one time. 2 of these stds (HPV and Herpes) can remain invisible and unnoticed for a long time and you can still spread it so knowing really means nothing. just use a condom if you don’t want to…accept what ever consequences and risk come along without blaming anyone.
use a CONDOM lol
hey… i sure wish i did..
This is like an answer to a young man’s prayers. I just moved to a new city from a more rual area, and I’m not sure of whom to give this cookie to, because I don’t know the men….therefore….I don’t trust them. This will allow me to feel better about who I’m talking to and maybe, for the first time, try the bareback thing!!! Good Lookin’ Out;~)
I trust no one..I treat everyone like they’re positive
Most guys don’t care, to be honest I am a cumdump bottom and when online searching for cock and loads, 99% of the guys don’t even ask my status just my address….. I have been fucked tonight alone by almost 20 guys and everyone has been bareback and they all dropped loads in my hole….. honestly the number of guys who don’t care is phenomenal!
Steve: you obviously don’t care either, and it’s sad…
I think that is a very good idea. I would not have an issue posting my status. No, I would not bareback with someone, even if their status was HIV-
This Qpid sound like a crutch. So people don’t have to take responsibility for there actions. Relying on something or someone else to protect you is not the way to go. You WILL be let down.
I’ve never been tested but I’d like to be, and being able to see that other men aren’t afraid to show their status would just make me more than sure enough to chat and get to know someone and meet them.
If you are poz and you tell the other person you are neg and risk the other persons life you are a murder. I do no think carrying your test results is a bad idea. If you are poz then it should be told up front GAY MEN LIE
I am confident that there are no statistics as to the reliability of the information on A4A. Who knows the percentage of men on A4A who are also charter members of “The Liars Club”? Consider the lies about age, dick size, weight! These are all visable when you meet. HIV status is not visable. Men with a near zero viral load are possibly far healthier than those who claim to be HIV- and abuse their bodies daily. A4A… Please, please consider a site for POZ men to offer an alternative. IT IS THE RIGHT, RESPONSIBLE THING TO DO!!! 2012 is just around the corner.
more people would post there “true” status if more persons would still not be so evil and hateful towards them. i am very open about my status on here , and i still get very bad emails from people. sometimes all it takes is for me to just look at there profile and im getting an message calling me a killer and asking why they would hook up with them and i should die. even if i just say hi or nice pic , i get told off and blocked. why? its been 30 years , lots of things have changed and are different. i really dont blame them too much for not posting (i can relate)
but you ultamatly have to be smart for yourself , get educated , take precausions for yourself , and ask .
Always wear a condom and have your partner wear one. The best way.
And what about the other diseases, as other posters have mentioned… Herpes. And HPV. We are having a HPV epidemic in the community. Untreated, HPV has been shown to lead to cancer.
Furthermore I bet there are plenty of doctors that won’t make something like HIV status available. In terms of HIPAA law, they may have some serious questions about, for example, what disclosing their patient’s status means when this information could go worldwide.
I agree with Blog, Steve: you are playing with you life and the life of others too..
for everyones information-alot of men LIE about hiv status
do heteros post their status? probably not and they spread HIV like wildfire.
I went out one night and got myself poz, nobody put a gun in my head to make me have unsex. I am not a victim, my life is the result of the choices I make.
Absolutely stupid idea. All the medical offices need is another thing that takes up their time (which believe it or not IS NOT cheap…even for those who don’t pay for it..SOMEONE is)…and why? Because we fags can’t seem to take responsibility for ourselves.
I need some info…what does it mean to a virial load of zero?
This is absolutely ridiculous. Test results are never real-time. There is always the chance that the person’s results aren’t showing the HIV antibodies just yet. My advice: It’s your choice to play safely or not, but if you choose not to, just consider the consequences. Assume everyone is positive, and use protection. That’s my personal theory, or take a chance if you want…your decision. Just know the risk is still real!
its true requardless everyone should be using protection no matter what and im sure some of us have BB before. for someone who is negative sure they can say ” ill disclose no problem ” etc etc but dont u think its hard for someone who is postivitive because there scared of the judgment . truth be told there are some malicious fags out there that will drag ur name to the ground just for the hell of it and then ur the talk of the scene of being dirty etc .. ya know
Jim – A viral load is a measure of the amount of HIV in a person’s blood stream.
When someone is HIV-positive if they have an undetectable viral load (the person is still HIV-positive, meaning they have the anti-body, but the virus cannot be counted) they may not be able to transmit HIV.
But having an undetectable viral load does not mean that there is no virus in the body. Rather, it means that the amount of virus is so low that the test cannot detect it. Viral load tests are not perfect and use only a small sample of blood. If there is very little virus in the sample, the test may miss it. There may also be temporary increases in viral load between tests. In addition, the test is only able to detect virus that is in the liquid part of the blood (the plasma). HIV can still be detected inside blood cells and in other tissues in the body, including genital fluids, even when it is not detectable in the liquid part of blood (plasma).
To bareback or not to bareback is always the question….
I think a lot of that has to do if your the top or bottom in the action. Being a only a top I bareback from time to time with guys who I know what there stats are. That said there have been times when fucked without the glove. Your chance of catching it depends on a lot of things and rather then state things look up the odds for yourself.
But getting testing for HIV and STD’s happens twice a year for me. I always get knot in my stomach when waiting if I have been bad boy and barebacked in the last six months.
Get tested, know the odds of the type of play you like and have fun. Remember I could die tomorrow by getting run over a bus too but I still walk to work…
I wouldn’t trust some random website with my medical and personal information. As much as I love bareback porn, I would NEVER bareback with anyone.. If I was in a committed relationship for several years maybe, but that’s still a big maybe.
That website is an epic fail… Do you know how easy it is to Photoshop test results? I mean bitch please, that shit is easy! All public health departments print out or copy a paper that says blah blah blah, So easy to change, or even create one from scratch, and there is no way to verify it since hippa laws
Assume everyone is poz. Problem solved.
ONE Should always assume that ALL other people are HIV or std+ regardless of how often they are or claim to be tested. I personally think that the Idea of this status link idea is not to protect people who are concerned about staying negative (since one should always assume EVERYONE IS infected) but to weed out and expose the liars who tell people they are negative or “not sure” when they are indeed poz. I think it should be a requirement for membership to all dating/hookup sites. People should have to prove their status quarterly to stay enrolled as a site member. I am HIV+ and post it on my profile. It pisses me off when I see people know to be hiv+ say that they are not sure or negative. This is wrong and deceitful and to outright lie about your status shows intent to have unprotected sex with others who take a chance (reckless at that)that they will not contract an UNWANTED OR FEARED STD. These status liars are lieing only because it is very hard for poz people to get dates or hook ups and figure if they lie they will get a date or sex. This is wrong…very wrong.
This is a good idea to me to have this. I do think that it should be a mandatory requirement for any and all members to have to register with their ID and health status before they can use the site or get membership. They need to put a stop to anonymous members who lie about their health and even who they are.
RAWR…you fail to understand that the results would not be released to you to turn into the site….they would be given to the site via your health care provider…this would be great and at the same time eliminate anonynimity…meaning your site name would be your true name.
Was seeing a guy for about 4 months when i found out he was having unprotected group sex with poz tops. I believe he is poz, but won’t admit it. What is up with the lieing.
Agree with guy who says guys lie about there age, weight which are abvious when you meet. Just ask to see there test results. Just be honest guys.
so have many people joined yet? is a4a considering to integrate their service into the site? that would be quite nice!
as of my last test1-11-13 i was have been see a guy and since have found out was playing on the side,no matter what he said i’m getting tested this friday and again in 30 days and 30 days after that.and yes i’d use the service and put results here neg or poz results
Presumably not only dates but employers could access this data? Even someone who is neg would stand a chance of being terminated for being listed on a site designed for hook-ups. A very, very bad idea …
To all who have recently posted and those that have posted in the past few years i saw a commercial about a month ago talking about a HIV test that can be took at home:
OraQuick in Home Oral HIV Test
Are you crazy. Post it to any site and when your looking for work or insurance and they can just go to the site to check , like they do on facebook now you will not be hired nor will you be able to get health care. Their is a reason its sensative info . Its for a good reason. Why would you even have a site like this. They can test neg , then next day be positive and your out doing what with them. You should be treating everyone as they are poz my friends. It shouldnt even be on their.
Anyone who is willing to have UNPROTECTED sex with a complete stranger is either already infected or wants to get infected. I just cannot believe that there are negative guys who are stupid enough to believe someone they have never met.
Besides, why is everyone so worried only about HIV? What about HEPATITIS B, and C. If you have the Hep B vaccine you are ok but there is no vaccine for HEP C, and it is a viral infection that will eventually cause liver disfunction and death.
There is so much ignorance out there!!1
That’s why obama got elected.
All it takes is for a glitch in the computer program and the whole program falls into the wrong hands.
Thanks, but no thanks.
I like the one comment: “Treat everyone as they are poz.”