Health : ‘Straight Men’ and ‘Gay Sex’
I am attending the Annual Meeting for the National Coalition of STD Directors (NCSD) in San Diego. NCSD is the only national organization that provides to support to STD Directors from departments of health from around the nation. This meeting provides an opportunity for NCSD members and colleagues to focus awareness in the areas of Public Health and the Impacts of Health Care Reform, Social Determinants of Health, Third Party Billing, STD Prevention among Special Populations, The National AIDS Strategy, as well as many other important topics within the field of STD prevention. I work with NCSD as Senior Advisor, Men Who Have Sex with Men, Sexual Health and Technology
I was privileged to present today in a session called, “Why are High-Risk Sexual Behaviors, STDs and HIV Infections Increasing among Men Who Have Sex with Men?” My presentation was titled, “Are Infection Rates Increasing in MSM as a Result of Changes in The Sexual Behavior of Men?” I believe that anal sex is a behavior that more men and women are engaging in, and that there is more same-sex behaviors between married men and other heterosexually identified men than ever before, and Internet is facilitating the increase of same-sex sexual behaviors. Check out the PDF here!
Please feel free leave your thoughts and comments!
Stephan
One only has to browse Craigslist, the 21st Century virtual adult bookstore to see the answer. Here’s a recent posting:
Str8 MWM looking to bottom for and swap oral with another Str8 MWM. Many, if not most Craigslist postings under M4M or Casual Sex are guys looking to bottom, who are married, or from out of town and staying in hotels looking to play. Little consideration is given to safe sex other than the perfuntory “clean/DDF”, which anyone can say they are, but who knows?
Another sector of men where sex is not only on the rise, but engaging in unsafe sex, unprotected anal sex are with men in the trucking industry. For decades, over the road long haul truck drivers have engaged in anonymous sex in their sleepers. Although not as easy to hook up today due to added security at truck stops and rest areas, it still goes on with an alarmingly high rate of married truck drivers who are getting more and more into receiving anal sex.
Unfortunately, many of these guys may not be the most educated or aware in terms of how HIV is transmitted. Many truly feel that because they are married and consider themselves to be straight that they are impervious to HIV. Adding to the equation is the alarming rise in use of recreational drugs among truckers of all ages, particularly crystal meth and crack. Even though truck drivers are often randomly drug-tested, these two drugs normally do not show up in blood or urine 48-72hours after use. With the use of these two drugs comes the probability of engaging in higher risk sexual behavior due to reduction of sexual inhibitions. Additionally, some truck drivers bat for both teams and many truck stops are crawling with prostitutes, commonly referred to as “lot lizards.” The majority of these women are addicted to crack or crystal meth and are turning tricks on the back lot of truckstops for an average of $20 per john. They have multiple (sometimes as many as 20 a night), engaging in oral, vaginal and even sometimes anal penetration, Since the majority are high on either drug they couldn’t care less if they are having protected sex or night. Ergo, the trucker who swings both ways is even at a higher risk for contracting a plethora of sexually transmitted diseases, which he may be exposing his spouse or significant other as a result of his high risk behavior.
What used to go on in adult bookstores is now happening on the Internet and via a CB radio. The impact has not yet been seen, but epidemiologists need to start a study linking travelers, particularly business travelers and especially truck drivers with the increase and spread of sexually transmitted diseases, particularly HIV. This perhaps is a very overlooked sector of the population by epidemiologists. Considering these men are having multiple sex partners with both sexes and traveling thousands of miles across the country each week, they may be spreading HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases at an overlooked, but alarmingly fast rate.
of course std’s will increase with ‘gay’ sex since so many so-called ‘st8s’ (men and women) engage in any kind of sex with multiple partners and most don’t want to use condoms…and wonder why std’s on the increase!!
Finally something serious, pertaining and helpful in this site. Hope people take a good advice on this.
I think it has become much like an epidemic. I meet more married “straight” men than gay, they also tend to go for higher risk practices. Unprotected anal sex is almost the accepted norm for these guys. They always use the same line ” I’m clean, I’m married”. I’m not saying gay men are safer, we all make risky choices. However, if the “straight” guys are that careless, it won’t matter how careful anyone else is.
David France wrote a pretty great article for GQ sometime ago on the decrease in safe sex among men and a possible apathy to safe sex:
http://www.davidfrance.com/article.asp?ID=15
there’s also this talk:
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/elizabeth_pisani_sex_drugs_and_hiv_let_s_get_rational_1.html
good presentation, btw.
I feel there are more and more married men seeking same sex encounters than ever before. This seems very prevalent in the mid 30 to mid 50 age range. Recently a 40 yr old married man told me he liked hooking up with guys cause he could get verbal, nasty, and rough without the guilt his wife game him when he tried something new in bed. I guess I feel men are much less inhibited when we are doing each other
Very interesting Stephan, read the whole thing. I completely agree with you. I have a friend that rationalizes his sexual behavior “I only like having sex with you” but really can’t because he likes having sex with “only me” 3x a week until he gets scared he likes it too much and cools down only to start up again a week or two later. Similar situation as the ones you pointed out. Also in relation to what you were getting to with the std’s I believe men this day in age don’t see it as that big of a deal because they’re getting these guys online instead of at truck stops and bathhouses like you used to have to go. Creates a false sense of security. Great job and would love to read more if you can post it. Lots of luck with your research.
I have also noticed that more and more guys are barebacking. I’m guessing gay men are becoming more lax when it comes to HIV since there are drugs that have been able to keep HIV infected men healthy for years. Personally, I think it’s irresponsible altogether and people should have more respect for their bodies and the health of others they come in contact with sexually.
Wow. That was absolutely interesting and eye-opening. Thank you for that! I hope others enjoy your presentation as well!
Well, in my opinion from psychological perspective, married man who have sex with other man in many cases are at higher risk of STDs mainly due to the fact that their discreetness and most of the time frustration leads them to seek sex with other man in wrong places and wrong people. In addition, suck under pressure or “quick” situations increase the likelihooh of using protection, asking the right questins and meeting the right people. Being bisexual (btw loved the article on bisexualism awhile back) i have noticed that reckless sexual engagement, in public – either it be parks, bath houses, video stores and many other places i cant even think off. I think and wish there was an awareness campaign from individuals like yourself that know more about the highest risk sex engagement behaviors and places and make people aware. This will not eliminate the problem but i am sure it will reduce it.
Thank you for your work.
Sincerely,
Devi
yeah im sure it is.
I have to agree with the advancement of technology find sex is a more easier than it was in the 90’s Websites offer photographs which is a plus is someone is looking to play. Back in the 80’s and 90’s we had the pennysaver, and telephone chat lines. Also, lets not forget the Book store and the full screen adult cinema where hooking up with a str8 was more than possible.
Next, the rise of anal sex I feel it’s more the fact people are being more honest and willing to discuss this topic. Anal and oral sex was used when young teen to 20 something were trying not to get pregnant.
Last, CDC can help by educating more people, although people will make their own choices, but having the education that protecting ones self should be number 1 priority.
I am a self-identified straight guy. In private I would say I am bi though I am not interested in building a life with a man as I am with a woman. That said, I wouldn’t have been able to get as much dick as I have in the 10 years since I started swinging both ways if it weren’t for the internet and, moreover, this site. I’m not blaming the site. I’m just adding that tid-bit to the conversation for what it’s worth.
I recently divorced my wife of 11 years. I was in a year-long relationship with another married man. His need to be passionate and Romantic was as intense as his need to withdraw from the emotion, after it was shown. He was definitely struggling. I was not. I don’t care about labels – gay/str8/bi whatever.
We had unprotected sex. Anal – both top/bottom. After we had been doing this for some time he confessed that he had barebacked on other occasions. UGH! I got tested. My ex-wife got tested. Both were negative. I see his behavior as Russian Roulette and as all-to-common in the area where I life: conservative, small-town southern USA.
One aspect of the increase in this behavior is definitely the internet and married men who are not str8 (I am of the opinion that the label str8 is not accurate if you enjoy sex on some level with the same sex). People who, like I was, are pressured into living the double-life have been presented with an all-to-easy way to hook up. This DL and online world allows and usually requires total anonymity. No date. No getting to know the person. Just meet and fuck. Very dangerous.
I’m starting to ramble but I guess I want to say that being out and open definitely is a more responsible way to be. This is especially true if you are safer 100%. No excuses. Condoms. Also, being able to date and take time getting to know the guy helps a lot.
I label myself as str8. The attention I receive from bi and gay guys on the different internet meeting sites is incredible. I’m 50ish and I have guys 20-60 looking to take care of my every need whenever I want, 24 hours a day. Who can resist all of the attention and pure sex that comes with it. Luckily I don’t go for every request I receive, because I would be totally out of control… But I do find this all very interesting and constantly stimulating…
hmmm st8? but like to be with other guys….what a joke. only lying to yourself to save face….because of “pressure”? i call it denial!!!!!
I’m a str8 guy that likes occasionally messing around with guys (non-anal). There is something about the passion of two testosterone driven guys making each other cum. With chicks, it is the softness, length, and emotional connection that is hot. It comes down to this: when you are used to au natural with your wife/gfriend because she’s on the pill, it sux to pull out the rubber. And, I guess since we don’t worry about catching something from our woman, we just believe we won’t from our fb either. Good article and liked the links to GQ!
Str8, Bi, gay, this topic is very interesting and totally stimulating to say the least..
This is in response to SJohnson who said that std rates are rising. I’m not saying to have unprotected sex, I’m not saying men should cheat on their significant others with other men, but I don’t think std rates across the board are generally rising.
“Are STDs increasing or decreasing in the U.S.?
What are the most serious STDs in women?
What are the most common STDs among teens?
3
It depends on the disease. The latest scientific data suggests that
chlamydia is declining in areas with screening and treatment
programs, but remains at very high levels. Syphilis and gonorrhea
are declining and have reached all time lows. Hepatitis B is
declining, as is trichomoniasis and chancroid. Herpes is believed to
be increasing, with dramatic increases documented through the
early 1990s. Human papillomavirus (HPV) and bacterial vaginosis
are both extremely widespread, but researchers are unsure if they are increasing.” Center For Disease Control http://www.cdc.gov/std/stats98/STD_Trends.pdf
Also the fact that categories like bi, gay and straight aren’t that fixed or rigid for a lot of people shouldn’t really surprise anyone.
Thank you for posting such a good article, and also thank you for the job you are doing on educating people like me.
I understand certain titles are just labels such as straight, gay, bisexual, transgender and so much more. But since the society decides to put a label on everyone sexual behavior and there is nothing I can do to change that, I am going to stick by it.
If you are straight but open minded that means you do not mind talking to or about gay related subjects, you do not mind hanging out with them, you are not prejudiced towards gay people, which is great. But by definition, everyone knows that straight means no deviations. So do not be calling yourself straight if you know you are messing around with men.
Just because you do not penetrate or get penetrated make you think that you are straight is a total BS. The fact that you have feeling, penchant, thoughts, or even act on it in your own way, characterizes you as homosexual or bisexual. There is nothing wrong with that at all because I believe in the Kinsey’s study theory and practice.
We are human. Having sex with only women, men, or both of them is totally natural, and to me, that the way it should be. But be honest to stop the spread of STDs and take time to use proper protections. Do not go around belittled any feminine guys out there, picking on or bullying others with your so called straight friends when you know you have your fair share with men too.
About two years I contracted HIV from a guy I had been sleeping with for months. This guy was married still living with his wife and two kids. I was stunned to hear when I told him I had tested poz that he was not worried or had no plans of telling his wife.
If you have sex with men you are not straight, case in point. Not only is the usage of protection among “straight” men who sleep with men lower, the act itself is dangerous. There is a complete and utter disregard for the health and well-being of the women they supposedly love. I don’t care which way you slice it; if you are engaging in this type of behavior you are putting the woman at risk for any number of STIs due to your own selfishness. It is abhorrent behavior and absolutely unacceptable.