Health: Addictions
Addicts, one and all….
Our material society encourages us all to be addicts of one type or another, mostly through the media and usually in the form of advertising. Advertising that continually tells us we are not good enough (financially, physically, mentally), that we do not have enough (or have the right type, version, style, or model), and that we can always find something (or someone) better then what we already have. With ‘reality’ shows like Intervention, Hoarders, Biggest Loser, and daily news of famous sex addicts behaving badly, addiction and recovery are topics that are now engrained into every day life in many forms.
I have been addicted to many things in my life, relationships, sex, shopping, substances, and for many years I was addicted to work. Because our addictions are often encouraged by our social circles (Tina) and society at large (work) the line between a healthy behavior and an unhealthy addiction can be a thin one. It can also be hard to know when that line has first been crossed. Behaviors, from gambling to shopping: from sex to religion may start out as fun but can eventually slide into being a closed behavioral ‘loop’ that results in significant consequences.
We need to eat to live, drinking and light drugging can be social lubricants that may actually increase enjoyment of life. So if everyday activities like eating and sex can be addictions under what specific circumstances are you addicted? What exactly defines addiction and separates it from ‘normal’ behaviors?
A lose definition of addiction is that it is a dependency on a substance, an activity, or a relationship that becomes primary over all else in your life. Addictions are repetitive (obsessive and compulsive) behaviors that are continued even in the face of negative consequences. Addiction becomes a problem once the desire to continue something you know is bad for you over takes your ability and/or willingness to stop.
The one thing that addition takes faster then anything else is your freedom. Over time addicts become a slave to the impulses to ‘use’, no matter what they use. The desire for ‘more’ can take you hostage physically as you go out to find “more”. The fear of not getting what you ‘need’ can take you hostage mentally as you think about how to get more, and emotionally you get stuck in an endless cycle of guilt and shame that leaves you with only one option: to seek out emotional relief with yet again ‘more’ of ‘it’.
Does this ring a bell? It is possible to have the life you deserve, free of addiction, no matter what the addiction. Here are some resources that can help:
- The Association of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Addiction Professionals and Their Allies (NALGAP)
- National Substance Abuse Index
- Sexual Compulsives Anonymous
- My Meth Life
- Tweaker.org
- Food Addicts
Stephan
I would like to say my view on addiction, in addition to the definition of desire to continue overpowering ability and will power to stop, is also anything that you do so much that it influences your productiveness within society as a whole there are many sites out there and many organization (nonot just christian based) i would also like to add i dont think obsession and compulsions are truly addictions because O&C’s tend to pass by over time where addictions do not(at least not without help)
This is a great article and kudos for putting it out there. Life is full of many challenges and I fully believe that if we need some help in overcoming them that we should seek it out. Awareness is so important and so rarely do we hear about it. Unfortunately addictions are even more common within our community for so many various reasons. It is great to see that you are raising truly important issues to our community.
Thanks and Easy Does It Guys!
addications can change as you give up one and soon place a new one in its place.addications have alot to do with changing brain chemistry.if we understand this and replacing therapy we can get better.a new habit takes 3 weeks to establish so hanging in there is vital for recovery.i drank hard for over a decade and toke several negative conquences for me to change my behavior.there are many addictions as well as alcholism and one is business.a person has to be doing and doing.others we all know eatting to much,gambling etc.i had to rethink my purposes for my life to have continued recovery.blessings to those who are working there programs and making stries.
I applaude you for this message to OUR people, because i am aware of several addiction running hand-n-hand, and in various combinations within our sexual life-style . i do hope there are many others taking the time as i did on this occasion to read this as well. It does hit home and actually has a possitive impact on my mindset concerning my own additions. I also thank you very much for providing helpfull resourses for those who neither have anyone to talk to about their issue(s) but for a direction from a lonely place, and where help is possible.
Thanks for discussing this issue on addictions, it opens our mind to understand aspects that affects our life. It’s prevalent and timely,that the all time issues entails understanding the cause and effects and the resources that helps in many ways in whatever forms of addiction faced. a disease that changes so many lives. some support groups really helps and i’m grateful this issues come into open. thank you so much guys!
I had a problem with alcohol and it almost killed me. I refused to get help for a long time, maybe 10 years. I finally went to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting because the pain was so bad, I would do anything to make it stop. I thought AA was for street people, losers, poorly educated people I didn’t want to be associated with. But I found AA was filled with very kind, smart people from every walk of life: doctors, police officers, airline pilots, street people, college students, grandmothers, teachers, black, white, young, old, religious, atheist. AA helped me get and stay sober, and my life is so much better. Please give AA a try. My only regret is that I waited so long before getting help. Google it.
Stephan,
I thank you for this blog post. It was very well written. It correlated much with all of many courses I’ve studied over the years through colleges. Currently studying Forensic Psychology. I am slow due to my severe hearing loss since birth. My life with other senses heightened has led me through many observational experiences- I’m no better or worse than anyone. I’ve had my learning experiences through Addictions. Only have coffee & sadly cigarettes now as the ‘Vice’ I have empathy for those with worse addictions.
Your post is so intriguing . I wanted to ask if I could share it via Note on FB. With just the
Heading- Health: Addictions & Your first name as the author & also the links. Your message can go far & really be assisting & helpful for many.
Be well Take Care
Mark
Iknow i am an addict i love sex more than ever and i am involved in a programe for addicts however i am still weak i can have three men to four men a day to night , and not be satisfied , i once was very worried about it but the worried feeling left till recently i found myself taking guys bareback now i worry as i am looking at killing myself if i dont stop , not sure what to do guys i am worried
Mark, feel free to share this or any other post of mine.
Stuart, you have already taken a huge first step in admitting you have a problem. The cycle of addiction can be extremely hard to break, and almost impossible to control, especially alone. I suggest that you stay close to your program and be honest with other addicts about your struggles. You are not alone and there can be great strength in the support, comfort, and example of fellow addicts that have be successful in their program.
If you are not comfortable in your group I suggest you seek out another group or look for a therapist that specializes index addiction in your area.
Keeping things simple, staying ‘in the day’, and thinking your actions through beyond the act of using, focusing on the results and feelings you have later can also help.
Above all, don’t give up, recovery is possible and freedom from addiction can be yours.
There are many of you out so eager for a dick or an ass that you have shunned your responsibility to read page info to know what others are saying. For instance, 9/10 of ppl that don’t list their status r poz, yet they want their dik sucked or get pounded. Sure, u r to wear condom, but would you reconsider if you are definitely neg, intends to keep it that way, if u determined that that sex dude u r planning to fuk–raw or protected was poz. Then, too, what’s up with “Anything goes,” is it supposed to be sexy? No, it is a risky proposition. You have to be skeptical about a missing HIV status plus “anything goes;” that sounds like a person that has nothing to lose. Then are the “anything goes,” “I don’t know,” or HIV neg.” Wow! U r “anything goes” and HIV(-). How long would it be before the charge(-/+) changes becuz of irresponsibility?
In the end, what incentives r there to hookup? In my case oral only with guys. I don’t fuk any guy online because many list their status only because it’s convenient, not becuz they test. But I take my hat off to the honest ones–at least they give u an opportunity to make swift decisions. But that is only if u r not a bonehead that does not read page info.
Nice site, nice and easy on the eyes and great content too.